Social Spotlight Teacher Guide Social Spotlight
Comprehensive Educator Guide
5-Day Unit
Unit Mission
This unit is designed specifically for students who utilize physical aggression as a primary strategy for seeking attention. By reframing "attention-seeking" as a normal human need, we remove shame and focus on efficacy—helping the student get the attention they crave through methods that build relationships rather than destroy them.
Key Objectives
Identify attention triggers
Master 3 prosocial bids
Apply 4:1 calm-down steps
Demonstrate de-escalation
Daily Pacing & Pointers
01
The Attention Audit
Reframing the need for attention.
Teacher Tip: Avoid using "attention-seeking" as a pejorative. Use phrases like "seeking connection" or "finding your spotlight."
02
Positive Connections
How to get noticed for the right reasons.
Teacher Tip: Focus on "Bids for Connection." Praise the student immediately when they attempt a positive interaction during the day.
03
Heat Management
Managing the biological "switch" of anger.
Teacher Tip: Use the "Pressure Valve" metaphor. Help the student identify where they feel heat in their body (hands, face, chest).
04
Conflict Crushing
Tactical de-escalation skills.
Teacher Tip: Roleplay is critical here. Model "Walking with Dignity"—turning away from a fight isn't losing; it's winning at self-control.
05
The Respect Remix
Commitment to the new path.
Teacher Tip: The "Success Contract" should be celebrated. Consider inviting a trusted administrator or coach to witness the signing.
High-Stakes Roleplay Scenarios
Use these scenarios during Day 4 and Day 5 to practice the skills learned throughout the week.
Scenario A: The "Accidental" Bump
A peer bumps into you in the hallway. Everyone is watching. You feel like you need to prove you aren't a "pushover."
Skill: Walking with Dignity
Scenario B: The Trash Talk
Someone says something about your family or your appearance during gym class. Other students start laughing.
Skill: Flipping the Script
Scenario C: The Boredom Trap
Class is boring. You want someone to notice you, so you start poking or teasing the student next to you until they get mad.
Skill: Positive Connection Bid
Scenario D: The Wrong Ref
During a game, a peer makes a bad call against you. You feel the "heat" rising. You want to shout and push.
Skill: The Pressure Valve
Daily Reflection Prompts
1
"What does it feel like when people notice you for doing something great? How is that different from when they notice you for fighting?"
2
"Think of someone you respect. How do they get attention? Do they have to fight for it?"
3
"When your 'heat' is at a level 10, what is one thing that can bring it down to a 5 instantly?"
Attention Audit Slides Day 01
The Attention Audit
Finding your place in the spotlight.
We All Want to be Seen
Wanting attention isn't a bad thing. It's a human thing.
We want to be valued.
We want to be heard.
We want to matter.
"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
— William James
The Two Spotlights
Chaos Attention
Fighting, shouting, breaking rules. It gets people's eyes on you, but it burns relationships.
Costly & Temporary
Value Attention
Skills, kindness, leadership, humor. It gets people's eyes on you and builds respect.
Lasting & Respected
When you fight,
what are you
To be respected?
To be seen?
To feel powerful?
"If you want the spotlight, let's learn how to earn it without getting burned."
Attention Audit Worksheet The Attention Audit
Spotlight Strategy Worksheet
Name:
Date:
Why the Spotlight?
Everyone wants to be seen. When you get into a conflict or a fight, what is the real reason? Check all that apply:
I want people to respect me.
I'm bored and want action.
I want to show I'm tough.
I feel ignored or left out.
I want to defend my name.
I want to be the "main character."
The Cost of Chaos
The "Reward" (Short Term) The "Cost" (Long Term) Example: People look at me immediately.
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Example: Suspended; people are afraid of me, not friends.
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The Switch
If you could get the same amount of attention for being incredible at something (like sports, art, gaming, or helping others) instead of for fighting, what would that "something" be?
Positive Connections Slides Day 02
Positive Connections
The art of the "Connection Bid."
The "Bid"
A Bid is any attempt to get someone's attention or show you want to connect.
Fighting is a Loud Bid. It works fast, but it pushes people away.
Today we learn Smart Bids.
"Hey, did you see that game last night?"
Helping a teacher carry something.
Cracking a joke during a break.
The Respect Remix
01
Find a Gap
Wait for a natural pause. Don't interrupt the flow.
02
Small Entry
Start with a question or a "Cool [item]!" comment.
03
Read the Room
If they smile or talk back, keep going. If not, try someone else.
The 2-Bid Challenge
Before the end of the day, make 2 positive bids for attention.
One for an Adult
One for a Peer
Bid Builder Worksheet The Bid Builder
Mastering the art of getting noticed—the right way.
Name:
Day 02
The "Switch" Scenarios
For each situation, write a Loud Bid (the old way) and a Smart Bid (the new way).
Scenario 1: You're in the cafeteria and see a group of people laughing. You want to join them.
Loud Bid (Old Way)
Example: Shouting a roast at someone in the group or bumping into their chair.
Smart Bid (New Way)
Scenario 2: You're bored in Science class and want the teacher or a peer to notice you.
Loud Bid (Old Way)
Smart Bid (New Way)
Scenario 3: Someone is wearing a shirt of your favorite band or game.
Loud Bid (Old Way)
Smart Bid (New Way)
My 2-Bid Mission
Mission A: To an Adult
Write exactly what you will say or do:
Mission B: To a Peer
Write exactly what you will say or do:
Heat Management Slides Day 03
Heat Management
Controlling the pressure before it blows.
The 2-Second Warning
Anger isn't just a feeling—it's heat in your body.
Early Warning Signs:
Hot face or neck
Tight, balled fists
Faster heart rate
If you can't see the heat, you can't beat the heat.
3 Cooling Tools
4:1 Breath
In for 4 counts, Hold for 1, Out for 4. Repeat 3 times.
The Gap
Create physical distance. Walk to a different spot in the room.
Cold Snap
Drink very cold water or wash your face with a cold paper towel.
Control = Power
Losing your cool makes you predictable.
#NoExplosion #IceInTheVeins #PressureValve
Heat Map Worksheet Personal Heat Map
Detecting the fire before the explosion.
Name:
Day 03
Biological Check
Where do you feel the HEAT when you start getting angry? Draw circles or color in the areas on the body below:
Warm (Annoyed)
Hot (Angry)
Lava (Explosion)
My Triggers
What flips your switch? (Boredom, teasing, accidental bumps, gym calls?)
Pressure Valve Plan
Choose two "Cooling Tools" from the slides that you will commit to using today when you feel the heat.
Cooling Tool #1
Cooling Tool #2
"If I notice the heat early, I have the power to _________________________________________________________________."
Conflict Crushing Slides Day 04
Conflict Crushing
Flipping the script on every fight.
The "Bait" Trap
When someone insults you or bumps you, they are fishing.
They want you to react. They want the "Chaos Spotlight." If you fight, they win because they controlled your day.
"You're trash!"
← That's the bait.
"What did you say?"
← That's you taking the hook.
Flipping the Script
A
Walking with Dignity
You don't need to answer. Turn your shoulders, walk toward a friend or teacher. Walking away is not losing.
B
The "Okay" Shield
When they bait you, just say "Okay" or "I heard you" and keep moving. It's the most powerful word to kill a conflict.
A King doesn't fight
every person who barks.
"Save your energy for the things that actually build your future."
Conflict Crusher Toolkit Worksheet Conflict Crusher Toolkit
Tactical de-escalation strategies for high-stakes moments.
Name:
Day 04
Common "Bait"
Circle the things that people say or do that usually make you want to fight. Recognizing the bait is the first step to NOT taking it.
"You're soft"
Staring at me
Talking about family
Accidental bump
"You trash at..."
Laughing when I fail
Taking my stuff
Eye rolling
Spreading rumors
My De-escalation Phrases
Instead of biting back, use one of these "Neutralizer" phrases. Write down two more that sound like YOU.
"Okay, I heard you."
The Wall Strategy
"That's your opinion."
The Shield Strategy
Your phrase 1...
Your phrase 2...
The Dignity Walk
1
Shoulder Turn
Turn your body away from the conflict.
2
Point B
Pick a "safe" person or place to walk toward.
3
Final Beat
Don't look back. Walking away is the victory.
Respect Remix Slides Day 05
The Respect Remix
The Finale: Commitment to Growth.
Your New Toolkit
01
The Audit
Knowing what you're really looking for.
02
Smart Bids
Getting attention through value, not chaos.
03
Heat Control
Detecting signs and using pressure valves.
04
Conflict Crushing
Flipping the script and walking with dignity.
Practice Perfects
Today we roleplay. Real situations. Real emotions.
"It's not about being a 'good kid.' It's about being a powerful person who controls their own destiny."
Claim Your
Spotlight.
Sign the Contract. Start the Story.
Success Contract Document The Success Contract
Official Commitment Document
I, , recognize that I have the potential to be a leader and a person of influence in my school. I understand that the way I seek attention determines the level of respect I receive.
I commit to the following:
1
I will seek the Smart Spotlight by making positive "Bids for Connection" with my peers and teachers.
2
I will use my Pressure Valve cooling tools (breathing, distance, or cold water) as soon as I feel the heat rising in my body.
3
I will Flip the Script by not taking the bait and by "Walking with Dignity" away from potential conflicts.
My Personal Success Tool:
Of all the things I learned this week, the one tool I will use the most is:
When I am successful, I will feel:
Student Signature
Witness Signature (Teacher/Coach/Admin)
Official Success Seal
Authorized for immediate implementation.
