Empowering You Teacher Guide Empowering You!
DBT Skills Lesson Series
Teacher Guide
Audience
8th Grade (Tier 3)
Duration
5 Sessions × 30m
Objective
Master 5 Core DBT Modules
Why This Matters
"DBT skills provide students with concrete tools to manage intense emotions, navigate difficult situations, improve relationships, and reduce self-harming behaviors, fostering greater emotional stability and overall well-being."
Preparation
• Review all generated materials (plans, slides, scripts).
• Print student worksheets & readings for each session.
• Gather art supplies & props (smooth stones, index cards).
• Ensure a quiet, private space for sessions.
Week 1: Introduction to Mindfulness
30 Minutes
Procedure
5m: Warm-Up - Mindful Start centering exercise.10m: Core Instruction - Intro concepts & Wise Mind.10m: Activity - Observe & Describe without judgment.5m: Cool-Down - Breath Anchor & homework assignment.
Materials Needed
• Warm Up: Mindful Start
• Slides: Mindfulness Basics
• Script: Mindful Awareness
• Activity: Observe & Describe
• Worksheet: My Mindful Moments
• Reading: The Power of Now
Week 2: Distress Tolerance
30 Minutes
Procedure
5m: Warm-Up - Coping Compass strategies scan.10m: Core Instruction - TIP skills overview.10m: Activity - TIP Skills Practice (ice, breathing).5m: Cool-Down - Sensory Grounding & homework.
Materials Needed
• Warm Up: Coping Compass
• Slides: Distress Tolerance Tools
• Script: Surviving the Storm
• Activity: TIP Skills Practice
• Worksheet: My Distress Toolkit
• Reading: Riding the Wave
Week 3: Emotion Regulation
30 Minutes
Procedure
5m: Warm-Up - Emotion Check-In & Body Scan.10m: Core Instruction - Facts vs. Interpretations.10m: Activity - Emotion Charades game.5m: Cool-Down - Opposite Action reflection.
Materials Needed
• Warm Up: Emotion Check-In
• Slides: Emotion Regulation Deep Dive
• Script: Understanding My Feelings
• Activity: Emotion Charades
• Worksheet: Fact vs. Feeling
• Reading: The Emotion Thermometer
Week 4: Interpersonal Effectiveness
30 Minutes
Procedure
5m: Warm-Up - Relationship Riddles dilemmas.10m: Core Instruction - DEAR MAN framework.10m: Activity - DEAR MAN Scenario Practice.5m: Cool-Down - Daily Check-In routine.
Materials Needed
• Warm Up: Relationship Riddles
• Slides: Interpersonal Hacks
• Script: Being Effective with Others
• Activity: DEAR MAN Discussion
• Worksheet: My Communication Plan
• Reading: Asking for What You Need
Week 5: Walking the Middle Path
30 Minutes
Procedure
5m: Warm-Up - Middle Path Maze (Dialectics).10m: Core Instruction - Acceptance & Change.10m: Activity - Validating Others practice.5m: Cool-Down - Skill Review & Quiz.
Materials Needed
• Slides: Finding Balance
• Activity: Validating Others
• Worksheet: Dialectical Dilemmas
• Reading: Both/And Thinking
• Assessment: DBT Quiz & Key
Mindful Start Warm Up Mindful Start
Weekly Warm-Up Procedure
Objective: To help the student center themselves and transition into the session with a mindful focus.
Teacher Instructions
Invite the student to sit comfortably, either in a chair or on the floor.
Suggest they gently close their eyes or soften their gaze downwards.
Read the script below slowly and clearly, pausing after each instruction to allow the student to process and practice.
Read Aloud Script
"Let's begin by taking a moment to arrive here, in this space. Notice your breath. Not trying to change it, just observe it. Feel the air as it enters and leaves your body."
[Pause for 10 seconds]
"Now, bring your attention to the sounds around you. Just notice them, without labeling them as good or bad, loud or soft. Simply observe the sounds."
[Pause for 10 seconds]
"Next, notice any sensations in your body. Perhaps the feeling of your feet on the floor, or your hands resting in your lap. Acknowledge these sensations without judgment."
[Pause for 10 seconds]
"Finally, open your eyes if they were closed. Take a moment to look around the room, noticing three things you see, two things you hear, and one thing you can feel. Just observe, without judgment."
Reflection Question
What did you notice during this mindful start? Did anything surprise you?
Mindfulness Basics Slide Deck DBT Skills Training
What is Mindfulness?
Paying attention to the present moment, on purpose.
Noticing thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
Without judgment – just observing.
It's like hitting the 'pause' button on life!
Teacher: Introduce mindfulness as paying attention without judgment. Set the stage for the session.
Mindfulness is NOT...
Emptying your mind
Stopping all thoughts
Always being calm/relaxed
A religious practice
It's a Skill you can learn!
Teacher: Clarify misconceptions. Emphasize it's not about being perfectly calm or empty-headed.
Why Practice Mindfulness?
Better Focus
Concentrate better in school and hobbies.
Less Stress
Reduce worry and feeling overwhelmed.
Wise Choices
Feel more in control of your decisions.
Teacher: Connect benefits to real-life student situations.
Our Three Minds
Emotion
Acting based purely on feelings.
Wise Mind
The Balance. Where our best decisions live.
Reasonable
Acting based on facts and logic.
Teacher: Introduce the goal of Wise Mind as the synthesis of logic and emotion.
Mindfulness 'What' Skills
1
Observe
Just notice. Pay attention to sensations, thoughts, and feelings as they come and go.
2
Describe
Put words to what you observe. Stick to the Facts, without judgment.
3
Participate
Throw yourself fully into the activity. Become one with what you are doing.
Teacher: These are the core skills. Focus today on Observe and Describe.
Practice Time!
Observe & Describe
Pick an object in the room.
Your job is to Observe it closely.
Then, Describe it using only facts.
No Judgment!
Teacher: Guide the student through the 'Observe & Describe' activity. Redirect if they use judgmental language.
Mindful Awareness Script Mindful Awareness
Session Script & Facilitation Guide
MOD: MINDFULNESS
Introduction (2 Minutes)
"Welcome! Today, we're going to start our journey into a set of powerful skills called DBT skills. These skills are like tools for your mind and emotions, helping you navigate tricky situations and feel more in control. We're going to start with Mindfulness ."
"Has anyone heard of mindfulness before, or do you have an idea of what it might be?"
Allow time for student to respond. Validate their ideas. Transition by saying: "That's a great start! Sometimes people think mindfulness means emptying your mind... but it's actually much more practical."
Core Instruction (8 Minutes)
[Refer to Slides: What is Mindfulness?]
"Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgment. It means noticing what's happening right now – what you're thinking, feeling, sensing – without getting caught up in judging it as good or bad. It's like hitting the 'pause' button and just observing."
[Refer to Slides: Mindfulness is NOT...]
"It's super important to know what mindfulness isn't. It's not about stopping your thoughts – our brains are always thinking! It's not a religion; it's a skill you can learn and practice, just like riding a bike."
[Refer to Slides: Our Three Minds]
"In DBT, we talk about three minds. Emotion Mind is when we think purely based on feelings. Reasonable Mind is all about facts and logic. But the sweet spot is Wise Mind . It's where your Emotion Mind and Reasonable Mind come together. Mindfulness helps us get there."
[Refer to Slides: 'What' Skills]
"There are three core 'What' skills: Observe , Describe , and Participate ."
"Observe means just noticing. Like a scientist. Describe means putting words to it. Stick to the facts, like a reporter, without adding your opinions."
Transition to Activity
"Now, we're going to put these skills into practice. We'll do an activity called 'Observe & Describe.' I'm going to give you an object. Your job is to simply OBSERVE it closely and then DESCRIBE it using only the facts. No judgments! For example, instead of saying, 'This is a boring pen,' you would say, 'This pen is blue and has a smooth surface.' Got it?"
Observe & Describe Activity Observe & Describe
Mindfulness Practice Activity
Objective: To practice the mindfulness skills of Observing and Describing without judgment using sensory objects.
Required Materials
One small, interesting object (e.g., smooth stone, leaf, stress ball, piece of fruit).
Alternative: Focus on a classroom sound or specific texture (fabric).
1. Introduce the Object
2 Minutes
"Today, we're going to use this [object name] to practice observing and describing. Remember our 'What' skills from the slides."
2. Guided Observation
4 Minutes
Instruct the student to focus on the object using all senses. Read these prompts slowly:
"Observe its color. What shades do you see? Just notice them."
"Observe its texture. Is it smooth, rough, bumpy? Run your fingers over it."
"Observe its shape. What is its form? Notice any edges or curves."
"Observe its weight. Does it feel heavy or light?"
3. Describing Without Judgment
4 Minutes
"Now, tell me what you noticed. Remember: Just the facts."
Facilitation Tip:
If the student says "It's a nice color," redirect: "That's an interesting observation. Can you describe just the color you saw, without saying if it's good or bad?"
Follow-up Discussion
"How easy or difficult was it to just observe without judging?"
"What did you notice about the object that you usually wouldn't have?"
My Mindful Moments Worksheet Mindful Moments
Weekly Practice Log
Name:
Date:
Goal: Practice being mindful for at least 5 minutes each day. Focus on anything: eating, walking, or listening to music. Just observe and describe the facts!
Day 1
Mindful Observation
What did you choose to observe?
What did you OBSERVE using your senses? (Facts only!)
What thoughts or feelings came up? (Just notice them)
Day 2
Mindful Sounds
Where were you? What sounds did you OBSERVE?
Was it easy or difficult to just listen without getting distracted?
Day 3
Mindful Movement
Which activity? What physical sensations did you notice?
How did this feel different from how you usually do it?
Day 4
Mindful Eating
What did you eat/drink? What did you notice before and during?
Day 5
Mindful Breathing
What did you notice about your breath? What did you learn this week?
The Power of Now Reading The Power of Now
A Guide to Being Present
Have you ever noticed how much time we spend thinking about the past or worrying about the future? We might replay something embarrassing we said yesterday, or fret about a test next week. While it's normal to think about these things, sometimes our minds can get stuck there, making us miss out on what's happening right now.
This is where mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness is all about intentionally bringing your attention to the present moment. It's about noticing what you're experiencing through your senses, what thoughts are passing through your mind, and what emotions you're feeling – all without judgment.
Think of it like...
"Think of your mind like a puppy. A puppy loves to run around and chase after anything that moves. Our minds are similar; they often wander to thoughts about what we should have done. Mindfulness is like gently bringing that puppy back to your side, reminding it to focus on what's happening right here, right now."
It's not about stopping thoughts or feelings, but rather about noticing them and letting them pass without getting tangled up. When you practice mindfulness, you create a little space between yourself and your thoughts. This space can give you a feeling of control, helping you respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
Why is being present so powerful?
Experience life more fully
You truly taste your food, hear the music, and see the colors around you. Life becomes richer.
Reduce stress
Many worries are about the future. By focusing on the now, you reduce mental clutter.
Make better decisions
You can think more clearly and make choices that align with your Wise Mind.
Learning to be present takes practice, but it's a skill that can truly empower you.
Breath Anchor Cool Down Breath Anchor
Weekly Cool-Down Procedure
Objective: To help the student calmly transition out of the session and reinforce mindful breathing as a self-soothing skill.
Teacher Instructions
Invite the student to sit comfortably and gently close their eyes, or look softly downwards.
Read the following script slowly and calmly, pausing between instructions.
Transition Script
"As we wrap up our session today, let's take a moment to anchor ourselves with our breath. Find a comfortable position. You might place one hand on your belly if that feels good."
"Now, simply notice your breath. Don't try to change it in any way. Just observe the air as it enters your nose and fills your lungs. Notice the gentle rise of your belly or chest. Then, feel the air as it slowly leaves your body."
"Breathe in... and breathe out."
"Notice the rhythm of your breath. It's always there, a steady anchor for you. If your mind wanders, that's okay. Just gently bring your attention back to the sensation of your breath."
"Take two more slow, mindful breaths."
"When you're ready, gently open your eyes and bring your awareness back to the room."
Reflection Question
How did focusing on your breath feel? Is this a skill you think you could use when you feel overwhelmed or stressed?
Coping Compass Warm Up Coping Compass
Weekly Warm-Up Exercise
Objective: Help the student identify existing coping strategies and introduce the concept of distress tolerance . Just as a compass helps you find your way, coping skills help you navigate difficult feelings.
Activity Instructions
"Let's map out your existing tools. Fill in each direction with things you already do to feel better in different situations."
NORTH
When I need to feel CALM
EAST
When I need to EXPRESS
When I need ENERGY
SOUTH
When I need SAFETY
West
Teacher Discussion
"What do you notice about your current strategies? Do you have a lot in one area?"
"How do you usually handle those super intense moments when feelings are really strong?"
Distress Tolerance Tools Slide Deck Distress Tolerance
Riding the Wave
Sometimes emotions feel overwhelming. We can't always make them disappear right away.
Survive intense moments safely.
Learn to ride the giant wave.
Teacher: Intro Distress Tolerance as skills for surviving tough moments without making things worse.
Getting Through the Moment
Handle intense pain without changing the situation immediately.
Accepting reality as it is , even if you don't like it.
The Goal
"To tolerate distress WITHOUT acting on urges that are harmful."
Teacher: Emphasize these are for crisis moments, not for avoiding problems long-term.
Quick Calm: The TIP Skills
T
Temperature
Cold water to face
I
Intense Exercise
Fast, short bursts
P
Paced Breathing
Slow, deep breaths
P
Muscle Relax
Tense and release
Teacher: These skills change your body chemistry FAST to help you calm down.
T is for Temperature
How to do it:
Splash very cold water on face
Hold an ice pack on eyes/cheeks
Hold for 10-30 seconds
The Science:
It activates your "Dive Reflex," which instantly slows your heart rate and calms your nervous system.
Teacher: Be specific about how to do it safely. Focus on the cheeks/eyes area.
I is for Intense Exercise
When you're overwhelmed, your body is flooded with stress hormones .
Burn it off!
Jumping Jacks
Running
Push-ups
Pillow punch
10-20 Minutes
Get your heart rate up to burn off excess energy and reset your body chemistry.
Teacher: Explain how exercise uses up adrenaline and helps reset the body.
P is for Paced Breathing
4 IN
2 HOLD
6 OUT
Slowing your breathing signals your nervous system to Calm Down.
Teacher: Guide the student through a few rounds of 4-2-6 breathing together.
P is for Paired Muscle Relaxation
1
TENSE a muscle group (5s)
Surviving the Storm Script Surviving the Storm
Distress Tolerance Script
MOD: DISTRESS TOLERANCE
Intro & Check-In (2 Minutes)
"Welcome back! Last week, we talked about mindfulness – being present in the moment without judgment. How did your mindful moments practice go this week? Did you notice anything new?"
Validate their experience. "Today, we're learning skills for when emotions feel so big and intense that it feels like a storm inside you. We're going to talk about Distress Tolerance ."
Core Instruction (8 Minutes)
[Refer to Slides: When Feelings Are TOO Much]
"Sometimes our emotions are like a giant wave crashing over us. We can't always make that wave disappear, but we can learn to ride it without getting pulled under. Distress Tolerance is about surviving intense moments without making things worse."
[Refer to Slides: The TIP Skills]
"One of the most powerful sets of Distress Tolerance skills are called the TIP skills . It stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Paired Muscle Relaxation . These skills work by quickly changing your body chemistry to calm you down."
[Refer to Slides: T is for Temperature]
"The 'T' is for Temperature. Cold water activates your 'dive reflex.' When you splash cold water on your face, your heart rate slows down and calms your whole system fast. It's like your body thinks you're diving underwater!"
[Refer to Slides: I is for Intense Exercise]
"The 'I' is for Intense Exercise. When you're super stressed, your body is full of adrenaline. Running in place or doing jumping jacks for a short burst helps burn off that excess energy. It literally changes your chemistry."
[Refer to Slides: P is for Paced Breathing]
"The 'P' is for Paced Breathing. Slow, deep belly breaths send a signal to your brain that you're safe. Let's try it: inhale for 4, hold for 2, exhale for 6. Let's do a few rounds together..."
To the Practice Activity
"These skills might sound a little strange, but they are incredibly effective. Now, we're going to move on to our activity where we will get to practice some of these TIP skills together!"
TIP Skills Practice Activity TIP Skills Practice
Practical Skills Training
Objective: To physically practice and reinforce the Distress Tolerance TIP skills in a safe environment.
Station Supplies
Ice pack or bowl of ice water
Small hand towel
Open space for movement
Comfortable chair
Station 1: Temperature 5 Minutes
"Take the ice pack and place it gently on your cheeks and around your eyes. Hold it for 30-60 seconds. Notice what happens in your body."
Check: Does their heart rate feel slower? Do they feel a "shock" that resets their focus?
Station 2: Intense Exercise 5 Minutes
"We'll do 60 seconds of vigorous activity. Choose: jumping jacks, running in place, or wall pushes. Really put effort in!"
Check: Are they breathing hard? Notice the energy shift after stopping.
Station 3: Paced Breathing 5 Minutes
"Sit comfortably. Inhale (4), Hold (2), Exhale (6). Let's do this for 2 minutes."
Check: Watch for belly breathing vs. chest breathing.
Station 4: Muscle Relaxation 5 Minutes
"Squeeze your hands into fists as tight as you can... (5s). Now, completely relax. Feel the tension drain away (15s)."
Check: Can they feel the "warmth" or "heaviness" after relaxing?
My Distress Toolkit Worksheet My Distress Toolkit
Skills for Tough Times
Name:
Date:
Mission: Try at least one TIP skill this week when you notice strong emotions or unhelpful urges. Record what happened!
T
Temperature
When did you feel distress?
Skill Used
Resulting Feeling
I
Intense Exercise
What was the unhelpful urge?
How did moving your body help?
P
Paced Breathing
When did you feel overwhelmed?
Did focusing on your breath slow things down?
P
Muscle Relaxation
Where was the tension in your body?
What did you notice after relaxing?
Toolkit Summary
Which skill will you use most often? Why?
How will you remember to use it in a crisis?
Riding the Wave Reading Riding the Wave
Surviving the Storms of Life
Imagine you're at the beach, and a huge wave is heading your way. What do you do? You could try to fight it, but you'd probably get knocked over. Or, you could try to run away, but the wave is too fast. A wise surfer knows that sometimes, the best thing to do is to ride the wave .
In life, strong emotions are like those big waves. Sometimes feelings like intense anger, sadness, or anxiety hit us, and we can't make them go away immediately. We might wish they'd disappear, but pushing them down often makes them stronger.
The Goal: Survival
"Distress Tolerance skills aren't about changing a difficult situation. They're about helping you get through a crisis without making things worse. "
Think about it: when you're overwhelmed, you might have urges to yell, break something, or withdraw. While these might give you a tiny bit of relief in the short term, they often lead to bigger problems later – like damaged relationships or trouble at school.
The Power of TIP
The TIP skills are powerful because they rapidly change your body chemistry. By using them, you're hitting a 'reset' button for your body:
T
Temperature: Cold water shocks your system and slows your heart rate.
I
Intense Exercise: Burns off excess adrenaline and stress energy.
P
Paced Breathing: Calms your nervous system and signals safety.
By riding the wave, you allow the intense emotion to peak and then naturally subside.
Sensory Grounding Cool Down Sensory Grounding
Weekly Cool-Down Procedure
Objective: To help the student ground themselves in the present moment using their senses, reducing any lingering distress.
Teacher Instructions
Invite the student to sit comfortably and take a few slow, deep breaths.
Read the following script slowly, encouraging them to fully engage each sense.
Grounding Script (5-4-3-2-1)
"First, gently bring your attention to what you can see . Look around the room and softly notice five things ."
"Now, bring your attention to what you can hear . Listen for four different sounds ."
"Next, focus on what you can feel . Notice three things . Perhaps your clothes, your feet on the floor, or your hands."
"Then, notice two things you can smell . If you can't smell anything distinct, just notice the absence of smell."
"Finally, notice one thing you can taste ."
"Take another deep breath, noticing how your senses have helped bring you back to this moment."
Reflection Question
"How did focusing on your senses help you feel more present or calm? When might you use this skill in your daily life?"
Emotion Check-In Warm Up Emotion Check-In
Weekly Warm-Up Exercise
Objective: To help the student identify and label their current emotions, setting the stage for emotion regulation skills. Recognizing and naming emotions is the first step in managing them.
Part 1: Emotion Word Cloud
3 Minutes
"Tell me a few words that describe how you're feeling right now. Don't worry about 'good' or 'bad,' just what's present."
Teacher: Record emotions here
Part 2: Body Scan
2 Minutes
"Gently bring your attention to different parts of your body. Do you notice any sensations? Where do you feel these emotions?"
Flutter in stomach
Tension in shoulders
Teacher Discussion
"Where did you notice those feelings in your body?"
"How easy or difficult was it to name your emotions today?"
Emotion Regulation Deep Dive Slide Deck Emotion Regulation
The Messenger: Understanding Feelings
Learning to manage emotions means more control and less suffering.
Understand the message.
Change the response.
Teacher: Transition from 'surviving' (Week 2) to 'understanding and changing' (Week 3).
What Are Emotions FOR?
Communicate
They tell others how we feel.
Motivate
They push us to act (Fear → Safety).
Inform
They give us info about a situation.
Emotions are NOT Facts!
Teacher: Explain that emotions are messengers, but they don't always tell the whole truth.
Step 1: Identify My Emotion
Go beyond Happy, Sad, Mad . Specific words give us more information!
Mad
Frustrated Annoyed Resentful Irritated
Sad
Lonely Helpless Disappointed Grieving
Teacher: Encourage building emotional vocabulary to better target interventions.
Step 2: Check the Facts
Our emotions are powerful, but they can mislead us. Detective Mode On!
Example Case
Feeling Furious because someone looked at you "weirdly." Is that enough fact to justify fury?
Teacher: Differentiate between what actually happened and what we tell ourselves about it.
Changing Emotions: Opposite Action
If the emotion doesn't fit the facts , do the opposite of what the emotion tells you to do!
Fear
Urge: Hide
Approach
Anger
Urge: Yell
Be Gentle
Sadness
Urge: Isolate
Connect
Teacher: Emphasize that acting opposite to the emotion actually starts to change the internal feeling.
Emotion Charades!
Your job is to identify the feelings.
No speaking! Only expressions and movement.
Put your feeling face on!
Teacher: Transition to the Emotion Charades game.
Understanding My Feelings Script Understanding My Feelings
Emotion Regulation Script
MOD: EMOTION REGULATION
Intro & Recap (2 Minutes)
"Welcome back! Last week, we explored Distress Tolerance skills – tools for surviving a crisis. How did your 'TIP' practice go? Did you use an ice pack or move your body when things got intense?"
Validate their response. "Today, we're shifting gears. While Distress Tolerance helps us survive feelings, Emotion Regulation helps us understand and change them."
Core Instruction (8 Minutes)
[Refer to Slides: What are Emotions FOR?]
"Emotions aren't random. They have a job! They communicate with others, they motivate us, and they inform us. But here's the rule: Emotions are NOT facts! Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's the absolute truth."
[Refer to Slides: Step 1: Identify]
"Step one is becoming a detective. Instead of just 'mad,' are you frustrated or annoyed ? Instead of 'sad,' are you lonely or disappointed ? The more specific you are, the better you can manage the feeling."
[Refer to Slides: Step 2: Check Facts]
"Once you name it, Check the Facts . Ask: What are the objective facts? Not my opinions, but what happened? Is my intense anger justified by these facts? Sometimes our feelings exaggerate reality."
[Refer to Slides: Opposite Action]
"If the emotion doesn't fit the facts, we use Opposite Action . This means doing the exact opposite of the urge. If fear says hide, you approach. If anger says yell, you act gently. It's hard, but it's how we change the emotion!"
Time for Emotion Charades!
"To help us get better at identifying emotions in others and ourselves, we're going to play a game! I'll act out a feeling, and you guess it. Then we swap!"
Emotion Charades Game Guide Emotion Charades
Identification & Recognition Game
Objective: Practice identifying and expressing emotions through facial expressions and body language to enhance emotional literacy.
Setup & Emotions
Tier 1: Basic
Happy
Sad
Angry
Scared
Surprised
Disgusted
Tier 2: Nuanced
Frustrated
Lonely
Proud
Anxious
Embarrassed
Calm
How to Play
1
Pick a card (or point to an emotion above). No speaking allowed!
2
Act out the feeling using your whole body. Think about your eyebrows, your shoulders, and your hands.
3
After each guess, ask: "What clues did you notice?" (e.g., slumped shoulders, fast breathing).
Discussion Points
"Was it easier to guess or to act out emotions? Why?"
"How did identifying the body clues help you know what the feeling was?"
"How can being a 'feeling detective' help you when you're starting to get upset?"
Fact vs. Feeling Worksheet Fact vs. Feeling
Checking Reality
Name:
Date:
Goal: Be a detective of your own feelings. Check the Facts to see if your emotion fits. If not, try an Opposite Action !
Scenario 1
"You text a friend. They read it but haven't replied in 2 hours. You feel incredibly sad and rejected, thinking they don't like you anymore."
Main Emotion
Objective Facts Only
Does the emotion FIT the facts? Why or why not?
Opposite Action Plan
Scenario 2
"You got an 85% on a math test. You feel furious and disappointed, thinking you should have gotten a perfect score and your effort was wasted."
Main Emotion
Objective Facts Only
Opposite Action Plan
Scenario 3
"You have a big project presentation tomorrow. Your heart is racing, you feel extreme anxiety, and you want to pretend you're sick to avoid it."
Main Emotion
Is it Justified?
Opposite Action Plan
My Own Detective Work
Recent Situation:
What I felt:
The Facts:
My Opposite Action Plan:
The Emotion Thermometer Reading The Emotion Thermometer
Measuring Your Inner Climate
Imagine you have a thermometer, but instead of measuring the heat outside, it measures how intense your emotions are. This is an Emotion Thermometer ! It's a simple tool that helps you figure out how strong a feeling is, from a little spark to a massive fire.
Using an emotion thermometer helps you recognize the intensity of your feelings. You wouldn't use the same skill for mild irritation as you would for explosive anger. Knowing the number helps you pick the right tool from your DBT toolkit.
The 0-10 Scale
9-10
Extreme / Overwhelming
Feels like it's taking over. Very strong urges to act.
7-8
Intense
Hard to ignore. Affects your thoughts and actions.
5-6
Strong
Getting your attention, but you can still function.
3-4
Moderate
Noticeable feeling. You are aware of it.
1-2
Mild / Subtle
Barely noticeable. Just a little spark.
Why Use It?
Choose the right skill: High numbers need "survive" skills (TIP). Lower numbers need "regulate" skills (Opposite Action).
Communicate better: Telling someone you're a "7 out of 10" gives them much more info than just saying you're "mad."
Next time you feel a strong emotion, ask: "Where is my thermometer right now?"
Opposite Action Reflection Cool Down Opposite Action Reflection
Weekly Cool-Down & Synthesis
Objective: To encourage reflection on the concept of Opposite Action and its potential benefits in everyday life.
Think of a time recently where an emotion told you to do something (like hide, yell, or give up). If you could go back, how would you use Opposite Action?
What makes it most difficult to take Opposite Action when your emotions are really strong?
My Small Step This Week:
"What is one small way you could practice acting opposite to a mild feeling this week?"
Boss of Your Feelings
Relationship Riddles Warm Up Relationship Riddles
Weekly Warm-Up Exercise
Objective: To activate thinking about social interactions and the challenges of communication. These riddles introduce the need for Interpersonal Effectiveness .
1
The Asking Dilemma
"I need to borrow notes for a class I missed, but I'm worried they'll say no or think I'm annoying."
What's the hardest part about asking for something you need?
2
The Interruption
"Someone keeps interrupting me, and it makes me feel unheard. How can I get them to listen without starting an argument?"
How do you usually react when someone doesn't listen?
3
The Brave 'No'
"My friend wants to hang out, but I really need some alone time to recharge."
How can you say no without making them feel bad?
Teacher Discussion
"What did you notice about these situations? What makes them challenging?"
"Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?"
Interpersonal Effectiveness Slide Deck Interpersonal Effectiveness
Relationship Hacks
Building stronger, healthier relationships while getting your needs met.
Ask for what you want.
Say no effectively.
Teacher: Review previous modules. Introduce this week as focusing on how we interact with others.
Goals in Relationships
Objective
(DEAR MAN)
Getting what you want in a specific situation.
Relationship
(GIVE)
Keeping the good relationship you have.
Self-Respect
(FAST)
Keeping your self-respect in the interaction.
Teacher: Explain the three main goals. Today we focus on DEAR MAN for Objective Effectiveness.
DEAR MAN
D
Describe
E
Express
A
Assert
R
Reinforce
M
Mindful
A
Appear
N
Negotiate
Teacher: Introduce the acronym as a step-by-step guide to clear communication.
Describe
Stick to the Facts. No judgment.
"When you don't respond to my texts for a few hours..."
Express
Share your feelings using "I" Statements.
"I feel frustrated when my texts aren't answered."
Teacher: D and E are about setting the stage and sharing your experience.
Assert
Ask directly or Say NO clearly.
"Could you please send me the notes from class?"
Reinforce
Explain the Benefits of helping you.
"If you send them, I'll be able to catch up quickly!"
Teacher: A and R are about making the request and motivating the other person.
Maintain Effectiveness
Mindful
Stay focused on your goal. Don't get sidetracked.
Appear Confident
Maintain eye contact and a calm tone of voice.
Negotiate
Be willing to find a solution that works for both.
Teacher: These skills help you stick with it during the actual conversation.
DEAR MAN Practice
We're going to look at some scenarios.
Think about how you'd use DEAR MAN to achieve your goal.
Communication is Power!
Teacher: Transition to the DEAR MAN Practice Discussion.
Being Effective with Others Script Being Effective with Others
Interpersonal Effectiveness Script
MOD: INTERPERSONAL
Intro & Recap (2 Minutes)
"Welcome back! Last week, we delved into Emotion Regulation, learning how to check the facts. How did your 'Fact vs. Feeling' practice go? Was it helpful to check if your emotions fit what was actually happening?"
Validate their response. "Today, we're moving into Interpersonal Effectiveness . This is all about how we interact with others – friends, family, and teachers."
Core Instruction (8 Minutes)
[Refer to Slides: Goals in Relationships]
"In any interaction, we usually have three goals. Objective Effectiveness is getting what you want. Relationship Effectiveness is keeping the relationship healthy. Self-Respect Effectiveness is acting in a way you feel good about later."
[Refer to Slides: DEAR MAN]
"DEAR MAN is our step-by-step guide to asking for what we need or saying no clearly. It starts with Describe (facts only) and Express (using 'I' statements). Then Assert (asking directly) and Reinforce (explaining the benefits)."
[Refer to Slides: D and E]
"Instead of saying 'You always ignore me,' try the factual approach: 'When you don't respond to my texts...' and then share how it feels: 'I feel frustrated when that happens.'"
[Refer to Slides: Maintain Effectiveness]
"The 'MAN' part helps you during the conversation. Stay Mindful of your goal, Appear Confident even if you're nervous, and be willing to Negotiate a win-win."
Time to Practice!
"DEAR MAN is a powerful skill, but it takes practice. Let's try it out in some real-life scenarios together!"
DEAR MAN Practice Discussion DEAR MAN Practice
Guided Scenario Discussion
Objective: Practice using the DEAR MAN skill in hypothetical social scenarios. Focus on phrasing and confidence!
Scenario 1: Asking for Help
"You are struggling with a difficult math problem. Your parent/guardian is currently busy cooking dinner."
Describe (Facts)
"I have three math problems left and I'm stuck on one..."
Express (Feelings)
"I feel overwhelmed and worried I won't finish..."
Assert (Ask)
"Would you be able to help me for 10 minutes?"
Reinforce (Benefit)
"If you help, I'll be able to finish before bedtime!"
Scenario 2: Saying No
"A friend invites you to a party, but you had a long week and really just want to relax at home."
Work through these together:
Describe & Express...
Assert & Reinforce...
The 'MAN' Skills
Mindful: Stay with the 'No'
Appear: Eye contact
Negotiate: "How about tomorrow?"
Coaching Prompts
"What tone of voice would you use here?"
"How can you say 'no' without apologizing too much?"
My Communication Plan Worksheet Communication Plan
Using DEAR MAN
Name:
Date:
Goal: Think about a situation coming up this week. Use the DEAR MAN steps to plan out exactly what you'll say to be effective!
The Communication Challenge
Briefly describe the situation:
What is your main objective? (What do you want?)
D Describe the facts
E Express your feelings (I statements)
A Assert yourself (Direct request/No)
R Reinforce the benefits
Maintain Effectiveness (The MAN)
Mindful: How will you stay focused if they argue?
Appear: How will you show confidence?
Negotiate: What is your compromise plan?
Asking for What You Need Reading Asking for What You Need
The Art of Assertiveness
Have you ever needed help but couldn't find the words? Or maybe you said them, but they came out as a demand that started an argument? This is a common challenge, and it's exactly what Interpersonal Effectiveness is for.
Being effective isn't about being bossy. It's about being assertive . Assertiveness is that sweet spot between being too passive (not speaking up) and being too aggressive (disrespecting others). It means sharing your needs clearly and respectfully.
The Recipe for Success
"Think of DEAR MAN as a recipe for a successful conversation. When you follow the steps, you greatly increase your chances of getting your needs met while keeping your relationships healthy."
Why Be Assertive?
Get your needs met: Ask for help, favors, or for someone to stop an annoying behavior.
Set Boundaries: Say no to unwanted requests without damaging the relationship.
Maintain Self-Respect: Act in a way that feels true to your values so you feel good later.
When you use DEAR MAN, you use your voice as a tool, not a weapon.
Daily Check-In Cool Down Daily Check-In
Weekly Cool-Down Procedure
Objective: To help the student transition out of the session by planning a practical application of Interpersonal Effectiveness skills.
Teacher Instructions
Review the DEAR MAN components one last time.
Help the student identify one specific interaction they expect to have before the next session.
The Daily Ritual Script
"As we finish today, let's think about your week ahead. You've learned how to be more effective with others. Let's make a mini-plan."
"Is there one person you need to talk to this week about something important? Maybe asking for help or setting a boundary?"
"Which part of DEAR MAN do you think will be the most powerful for you to remember during that talk?"
"Take a deep breath. Imagine yourself acting with confidence and clarity."
Action Plan
"I will use DEAR MAN with ____________________ this week to ____________________."
Middle Path Maze Warm Up Middle Path Maze
Weekly Warm-Up Exercise
Objective: To introduce dialectical thinking —the idea that two seemingly opposite things can both be true. This warm-up helps students look for the "middle path" between extremes.
Dilemma 1: The "I'm Right" Wall
"You are having an argument with a friend. You are 100% sure you are right. They are 100% sure they are right."
Extreme A: "You're wrong!"
Extreme B: Give in completely
What is the Middle Path? (Both can have a point)
Dilemma 2: Change vs. Acceptance
"I am doing the best I can right now AND I need to do better next time."
How can both of those things be true at the same time?
Teacher Discussion
"Dialectics is about finding the 'AND'. We often get stuck in 'EITHER/OR'. How can we bridge the gap?"
"Can you think of a time where two people were both right about different parts of a problem?"
Finding Balance Slide Deck Middle Path & Review
Finding Balance
The art of dialectics: Finding the "AND" between two extremes.
Acceptance & Change.
Validating others.
Teacher: Welcome to the final session! Today we bring it all together by finding the middle path.
What is a Dialectic?
The Big Idea
Two seemingly opposite things can both be true at the same time.
There is usually more than one way to see a situation.
EXTREME A
EXTREME B
MIDDLE PATH
Teacher: Explain that life isn't black or white. We look for the "grey" area or the synthesis.
The Great Balance
Acceptance
I am doing the best I can right now.
Change
I need to work on doing better next time.
BOTH are true.
Teacher: This is the core dialectic of DBT. Acceptance of self AND push for growth.
Validation
Validation means letting someone know their feelings make sense .
It is NOT:
Agreeing with what they did. You can validate a feeling without liking the action .
Instead of: "You shouldn't be mad."
Try: "I can see why you're mad. That was really frustrating."
Teacher: Explain that validation is like a "bridge" between two people.
Your DBT Power Toolbox
Mindfulness
Stay Present
Distress
Survive Storms
Regulation
Identify Feelings
Interpersonal
Ask for Needs
You have the power now!
Teacher: Briefly recap the 4 previous weeks before the final assessment.
Skill Review!
You've learned so many new tools.
Let's check in and see how much you've grown!
Assessment Time
Teacher: Administer the DBT Skills Assessment and review with the student.
Acceptance & Change Script Acceptance & Change
Walking the Middle Path Script
MOD: MIDDLE PATH
Final Intro (2 Minutes)
"Welcome to our final session of Empowering You! Over the last four weeks, you've learned to be mindful, survive emotional storms, regulate your feelings, and communicate effectively. How do you feel looking back at everything you've learned?"
Validate their progress. "Today is about bringing it all together with a skill called Walking the Middle Path ."
Core Instruction (8 Minutes)
[Refer to Slides: What is a Dialectic?]
"A dialectic is a fancy word for a simple idea: that there's always more than one way to see a situation. It means two opposite things can both be true . We don't have to choose either/or; we look for the AND ."
[Refer to Slides: Acceptance & Change]
"The biggest balance in DBT is between Acceptance and Change . You can accept that you are doing your best AND recognize that you need to keep working to do better. Both are valid!"
[Refer to Slides: Validation]
"One way to walk the middle path with others is through Validation . This means telling someone their feelings make sense, even if you don't like their actions. It's a bridge that keeps relationships strong."
Closing the Series
"You've built an incredible toolbox. Now, we're going to practice validating others, find the middle path in some dilemmas, and then see how much you've mastered with our final check-in!"
Validating Others Activity Validating Others
Practical Validation Activity
Objective: Practice identifying and validating the feelings of others, even when you disagree with their actions. Validation is the "bridge" on the middle path.
How to Validate
1. Pay Attention
Listen without multitasking.
2. Reflect Back
"It sounds like you feel..."
3. Find the Truth
"It makes sense that..."
Don't Judge!
No "buts" or "shoulds".
Scenario 1: The Failing Grade
"Your friend is crying because they failed a test they didn't study for. They are yelling that the teacher is unfair."
Invalidating (The No-Go)
"Well, you didn't study, so don't be mad."
Validating (The Goal)
"I can see you're really upset. Failing a test feels awful regardless."
Your turn: What's another way to validate them?
Scenario 2: The Sibling Spat
"Your sibling is angry because you used their charger without asking. They are being loud and rude."
Practice finding the middle path:
"I hear that you're angry because I took your charger. It makes sense you'd want your things respected. AND, I need you to talk to me without yelling."
Validation is the Bridge!
Dialectical Dilemmas Worksheet Dialectical Dilemmas
Finding the "AND"
Name:
Date:
Mission: Find the Middle Path between two extremes. Use the word AND to show that two opposite things can both be true.
Dilemma 1: Self-Acceptance
Extreme A
"I'm perfect and don't need to change anything."
Extreme B
"I'm a failure and I need to change everything."
The Middle Path (Use "AND"):
Example: "I am doing the best I can right now AND I need to keep learning."
Dilemma 2: Relationships
Extreme A
"You are completely wrong and I'm right."
Extreme B
"I'll just do whatever you want so you're not mad."
The Middle Path (Use "AND"):
Dilemma 3: Emotions
Extreme A
"I have to act on my feelings right now!"
Extreme B
"Emotions are bad. I should never feel anything."
The Middle Path (Use "AND"):
Both/And Thinking Reading Both/And Thinking
Walking the Middle Path
In life, we often feel like we have to choose between two opposites. We think things are either "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong," "smart" or "stupid." This is called Black-and-White Thinking , and it often keeps us stuck in arguments or feeling bad about ourselves.
Dialectics is the tool we use to get unstuck. It's the art of finding the "AND." It's the belief that two seemingly opposite things can both be true at the same time.
The See-Saw Analogy
"Think of a see-saw. If you stand only on the far left, you're stuck on the ground. If you stand only on the far right, you're stuck too. Walking the middle path means standing in the center, balancing both sides so you can actually move."
Why Both/And Matters
Reduces Conflict: When you acknowledge that your friend has a point AND you have a point, the argument changes from a battle to a conversation.
Increases Self-Compassion: You can accept that you made a mistake AND know that you are a good person. You don't have to be one or the other.
Opens Up Solutions: EITHER/OR thinking shuts down ideas. BOTH/AND thinking opens up a middle path with more choices.
Mastering the "AND"
A
And
B
Skill Review Cool Down Final Review
Course Completion Cool-Down
Objective: To review the major concepts from all 5 modules and help the student identify their personal "Superpower Skill" for the future.
The Graduation Script
"We have reached the end of our series! You've learned about the Three Minds, the TIP skills, Checking the Facts, DEAR MAN, and Dialectics."
"Of everything we've talked about, which skill feels like your Superpower? Which one has helped you the most?"
"Take a moment to imagine yourself using that superpower next week when a challenge comes up. See yourself staying balanced and effective."
My DBT Superpower
"My favorite tool in the toolbox is ____________________ because ____________________."
You Are Empowered
DBT Skills Assessment Quiz DBT Skills Quiz
Empowering You! Final Assessment
Score:
Name:
Date:
1 Mindfulness
Which "Mind" is the goal in DBT, where logic and emotion are balanced?
Emotion Mind
Reasonable Mind
Wise Mind
2 Distress Tolerance
In the TIP skills, what does the "T" stand for?
Temperature (Cold water to reset the body)
Thinking (Distracting with positive thoughts)
Talking (Calling a friend for help)
3 Emotion Regulation
What is "Opposite Action"?
4 Interpersonal
In the DEAR MAN acronym, what do the "D" and "E" stand for?
D
E
5 Walking the Middle Path
Validation means agreeing with everything someone does. True or False?
TRUE
FALSE
The Ultimate Goal
Two opposite things can both be true at once. This is called...
Dialectics
A Puzzle
DBT Skills Assessment Key Assessment Key
DBT Skills: Teacher Resource
Answer Key
1. Mindfulness
Correct Answer: Wise Mind
Rational: Wise Mind is the synthesis of Reasonable Mind and Emotion Mind.
2. Distress Tolerance
Correct Answer: Temperature (Cold water to reset the body)
Rational: T activates the dive reflex, providing a physiological reset.
3. Emotion Regulation
Answer: Doing the exact opposite of what your emotion is telling you to do when that emotion is not justified by the facts.
4. Interpersonal
D: Describe (the facts) | E: Express (your feelings)
5. Middle Path
Correct Answer: FALSE
Rational: Validation is acknowledging that a feeling makes sense, not necessarily agreeing with an action.
6. Ultimate Goal
Answer: Dialectics
Scoring & Discussion Guide
5-6 Correct: Mastery. Focus on maintaining these skills in real-world crisis situations.3-4 Correct: Proficient. Review the specific acronyms (TIP/DEAR MAN) for better recall.0-2 Correct: Emerging. Continue guided practice and refer back to the individual module worksheets. 
