Proud Not Loud
Social Emotional Learning • Community Circle
Grade Level: 3–5
Respectful Communication
Proud, Not Loud!
How to celebrate our hard work, share achievements with joy, and cheer for everyone in our classroom crew.
Sharing vs. Boasting
Cheering For Others
Kind Responses
01
How Does It Feel?
Class Discussion
Feeling 1: Excited!
You practiced soccer every afternoon and scored your very first goal!
“You feel super proud and want to share your excitement with your friends!”
Being proud is healthy and normal!
Feeling 2: Squeezed Out
Someone yells: “I scored 5 goals! You only scored one? That was so easy!”
How does your excitement change? Does your stomach feel tight or disappointed?
Bragging turns celebration into competition.
💭 Turn & Whisper: Why does the second comment take away someone’s joy?
02
Sharing vs. Bragging
The Golden Rule of Talking About Success
Respectful Sharing
Invites people closer
- Focuses on joy, effort, and hard work.
- Leaves room for others to share their stories too.
- Grateful for practice and help from others.
“I worked hard and I am happy with this!”
Boasting (Bragging)
Pushes people away
- Focuses on being “better than” someone else.
- Makes other people feel small or left out.
- Acts like everything came with zero effort.
“Mine is way better than yours ever could be!”
🌟 Key Test: Does what I am saying lift others up, or does it try to place me above them?
03
Spot the Difference: You Decide!
Class Vote: 👍 Sharing or 👎 Bragging?
1
“I read four whole chapters this weekend! The mystery is getting so good.”
Sharing Joy
2
“I finished the math test in five minutes. Why is everyone else still working? It was so baby-ish!”
Boasting & Putting Down
3
“Look at my sneakers! My aunt got them for my birthday. I love the teal laces!”
Sharing Gratitude
Notice the difference: Sharing talks about your own excitement, not comparing yourself to others!
04
Confident Communication: The Proud Formula
3 Simple Steps
1
State Your Effort
Name what you worked on, tried, or practiced. Focus on your effort!
“I spent an hour practicing my spelling words...”
2
Own Your Joy
Say how it makes you feel without comparing your score to others.
“...and I got 100%! I feel so relieved and proud.”
3
Include Others
Ask about your friend, thank someone who helped, or give encouragement.
“...How did you feel about that big long mystery word?”
✨ True Confidence is knowing you did well without having to prove you did better than someone else!
05
Celebrate Others: Everyone Can Shine
Classmate Champions
The Candle Rule
Lighting someone else’s candle doesn’t blow out your flame—it just makes the whole room brighter! A friend doing great things is something to celebrate, not envy.
🎨
Spot the Effort
“You worked so hard on that project, it shows!”
👏
Give Genuine Praise
“Way to go! You really nailed that presentation!”
🤝
Ask and Learn
“That is awesome! How did you learn to do that?”
🚫 Trap to Avoid: Saying “That was good, but look what I did!” Stay focused on their moment.
06
What If Someone Brags to You?
Stay Calm, Kind & Confident
Option A
Acknowledge & Pivot
Say something quick and polite, then steer the conversation somewhere fun!
“That is cool you got first place. Hey, what game are we playing at recess?”
Option B
Set a Kind Boundary
Tell them how it feels if their words are hurting or putting someone down.
“I’m happy for you, but it feels like you’re comparing our scores.”
Option C
The Calm “No Bite”
Don’t get into an argument or try to out-brag them. Keep your peace!
“Awesome! We all have different things we are good at.”
💡 Remember: People often brag when they feel insecure inside. Kindness keeps you strong!
07
Partner Practice: The Respectful Reframe
2-Minute Challenge
Reframe Challenge 1: Video Games
“I beat Level 50 and you’re still stuck on Level 5! You are so terrible at this game!”
How can we change this to sharing?
• Share excitement about the game
• Offer a helpful tip without judging
Partner A Practice: Turn it into a team boost!
Reframe Challenge 2: Art Project
“The teacher picked mine to hang in the hallway because mine is the most realistic in the class!”
How can we change this to sharing?
• Celebrate being chosen with humility
• Compliment a friend’s color or idea
Partner B Practice: Share the joy respectfully!
Turn to your partner: Take 60 seconds to speak the new, respectful version out loud!
Our Community Promise
Daily Practice
The “Shine & Share” Creed
I celebrate my hard work with joy and gratitude.
I cheer for my classmates when they achieve their goals.
I don’t need to make others feel small to make myself stand tall.
Together we grow. Together we shine! 🌟
Proud, Not Loud!
