Peace Protocols Slides
Peace Protocols
Mastering the Art of Conflict Resolution
What is Conflict?
Conflict is a natural disagreement between people with different ideas, interests, or needs.
"Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional."
— Max Lucado
Normal
It happens in every healthy relationship.
Neutral
Conflict itself isn't bad; it's how we handle it.
Opportunity
It can lead to better ideas and stronger bonds.
The Conflict Iceberg
Visible
Actions
Under the Surface
- Unmet Needs
- Hurt Feelings
- Personal Values
- Past Experiences
Most conflict stems from what we don't see. To resolve it, we must look below the waterline.
What Sparks Conflict?
Communication
Misunderstandings, poor listening, or tone of voice.
Values
Differences in beliefs, priorities, or what's "right."
Emotions
Stress, fatigue, or carrying baggage from another day.
Reaction vs. Response
The Reaction
- • Immediate and automatic
- • Driven by the "lizard brain"
- • Often defensive or aggressive
- • Escalates the situation
The Response
- • Thoughtful and intentional
- • Driven by the "thinking brain"
- • Calm and goal-oriented
- • De-escalates the situation
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power.
The 5 Conflict Styles
Assertive
Competing
"My way or the highway."
Collaborative
Collaborating
"Let's win together."
Middle Ground
Compromising
"Let's both give a little."
Passive
Avoiding
"I'd rather not talk."
Giving In
Accommodating
"Whatever you want."
Active Listening
Most people listen to reply, not to understand.
1
Eye Contact & Body Language
2
Don't Interrupt (Let them finish)
3
Reflect: "So what I hear is..."
The Power of Silence
"Listen" and "Silent" are spelled with the same letters. Silence gives the other person space to feel heard and for you to process.
The Power of "I" Statements
Avoid "You" statements, which often feel like attacks and trigger defensiveness.
The "You" Attack
"You always ignore my texts and you're so rude!"
The "I" Statement
"I feel hurt when my texts aren't answered because I feel ignored."
The Formula
I feel... [your emotion]
When... [the specific behavior]
Because... [how it affects you]
I need... [your request]
Empathy: The Resolution Engine
Perspective A
Perspective B
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
Validating
"I can see why that would be frustrating for you."
Clarifying
"Tell me more about how you're feeling about this."
The Win-Win Goal
The goal of conflict resolution isn't to win the argument.
The goal is to solve the problem while keeping the relationship strong.
- Brainstorm together
- Look for shared interests
- Focus on the future, not the past
Collaborative Success
When both sides feel heard and respected, the solution is more likely to last.
The 5-Step Protocol
1
Cool Down
Wait until emotions aren't running high.
2
Share POV
Use "I" statements to share your perspective.
3
Listen Well
Active listening to understand their side.
4
Brainstorm
List many possible solutions together.
5
Agree
Choose a solution that works for both.
Practice
Scenario: The Group Project
You and Alex are working on a history project. Alex has done very little work, and the deadline is tomorrow. You're feeling stressed and angry.
How would you handle this?
Discussion Questions:
- What is your "I" statement?
- What might be under Alex's iceberg?
- What is a win-win solution?
Practice
Scenario: The Lunch Table
A friend makes a joke that really hurts your feelings in front of other people. They don't seem to realize they've upset you and keep laughing.
How would you handle this?
Discussion Questions:
- Should you react immediately or cool down?
- How do you invite them to a private talk?
- What is a healthy resolution?
Key Takeaways
Conflict is normal; handling it well is a skill.
Always look below the "Iceberg" waterline.
Use "I" statements to stay collaborative.
Aim for win-win solutions whenever possible.
Questions?
The road to peace is paved with better communication.
Resolution Roadmap Worksheet
Resolution Roadmap
Practicing the Peace Protocols
Name:
Date:
1. The Iceberg Investigation
Think of a minor conflict you've had recently. What was visible, and what was hidden?
ABOVE THE WATER (The Action)
What did you and the other person say or do?
BELOW THE WATER (The Root)
What were you feeling? What did you need that you didn't get?
2. The "I" Statement Lab
Turn these aggressive "You" statements into collaborative "I" statements.
"You never listen to me when I'm trying to talk about my weekend!"
"Stop borrowing my stuff without asking! You're so annoying!"
3. Scenario Strategy
THE CONFLICT:
You are in a group project. One teammate, Jordan, constantly interrupts you and shoots down your ideas during planning. You're starting to feel like you don't want to contribute at all.
Step 1: Cool Down & Center
What is one "cool down" strategy you would use before talking to Jordan?
Step 2: Start the Peace Protocol
Draft the "I" statement you would say to Jordan privately.
Step 3: Win-Win Brainstorming
List two possible solutions that address your need to be heard AND Jordan's excitement/ideas.
Peace Protocols: Mastering Conflict Resolution
Resolution Roadmap
Conflict Resolution Facilitator Guide
Facilitator Guide
Peace Protocols: Conflict Resolution Lesson
Time Estimate
45–60 MINS
Lesson Objectives
- Identify the difference between "Reaction" and "Response."
- Explain the Conflict Iceberg model and identify hidden triggers.
- Construct effective "I" statements to communicate feelings and needs.
- Apply collaborative problem-solving steps to real-world scenarios.
Materials Needed
- • Peace Protocols Slide Deck
- • Resolution Roadmap Worksheet
- • Chart paper/markers
- • Sticky notes (optional)
Instructional Roadmap
Intro
5m
Hook & Normalization
Start with Slide 2. Ask: "Who has had a disagreement in the last week?" Normalize that conflict happens between best friends, siblings, and teammates. It's like a gym for our communication muscles.
Theory
15m
The Iceberg & Styles
Use Slide 3 (Iceberg) to drive home the idea that what we see (shouting, silence, eye-rolling) is only 10% of the story.
Key Question:
"If we only address the 'shouting' but not the 'hurt feelings' underneath, will the conflict stay solved?"
Skills
20m
"I" Statements & Active Listening
Review Slide 8. Practice a few "I" statements together as a class. Transition to the Resolution Roadmap Worksheet. Have students work on Sections 1 and 2 individually.
Common Pitfalls
Trap: Forced Apologies
Rushing to "I'm sorry" often skips the resolution. Ensure students focus on the Win-Win Solution first.
Trap: "You" hidden in "I"
"I feel like you are being mean" is NOT an "I" statement. It's a "You" statement in disguise. Redirect to: "I feel hurt when..."
Facilitation Tips
The Silent Countdown
When teaching active listening, have students sit in silence for exactly 15 seconds after a "speaker" finishes. This demonstrates how much space silence provides for thinking.
Roleplay Reverse
If students struggle with empathy, have them roleplay the other person in their own conflict scenario.
The Exit Ticket
Before leaving, ask students to write on a sticky note:
"One peace protocol I will use the next time I feel a 'Reaction' coming on is..."
Resolution Roadmap Answer Key
Answer Key
Resolution Roadmap Worksheet
TEACHER RESOURCE
1. The Iceberg Investigation
Student responses will vary based on personal experience. Look for:
- Above Water: Clear description of a behavior (e.g., "They took my seat," "We argued over the game").
- Below Water: Identification of feelings (e.g., hurt, ignored, stressed) and unmet needs (e.g., respect, friendship, autonomy).
2. The "I" Statement Lab
You Attack:
"You never listen to me when I'm trying to talk about my weekend!"
Sample Resolution:
"I feel frustrated when I share my stories and don't get a response because I feel like what I say doesn't matter to you. I need you to give me your full attention for a minute."
You Attack:
"Stop borrowing my stuff without asking! You're so annoying!"
Sample Resolution:
"I feel stressed when my things are moved without me knowing because I can't find them when I need them. I need you to ask me before you borrow something next time."
3. Scenario Strategy (The Jordan Conflict)
Step 1: Cool Down Strategy
Taking three deep breaths, counting to ten, or asking for a 5-minute break from the group to clear the head.
Step 2: Private "I" Statement
"I feel discouraged when I get interrupted during meetings because I have ideas I want to share. I need to be able to finish my thoughts so I can help the team."
Step 3: Win-Win Solutions
"Use a 'speaker's token' (like a pen) so only one person talks at a time."
"Set a timer for 2 mins for each person to pitch their idea uninterrupted."
© 2026 Peace Protocols • Conflict Resolution Unit