Boundary Setting Blueprint Lesson Plan Boundary Setting Blueprint
Lesson Plan: Adult Group Therapy Session
Duration
90 Minutes
Core Objective
Adults will learn and practice DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills to assertively communicate needs and set boundaries, fostering healthier relationships and reducing feelings of guilt.
Why This Matters
Effective boundary setting and assertive communication are vital for maintaining self-respect, reducing stress, and building strong, respectful relationships in all areas of life.
Approach
Interactive Learning
Practical Exercises
Group Discussion
Review and Prepare
Est. Time: 15 minutes
• Review all generated materials: Blueprint, Toolkit Slides, Role-Play Activity, Scenarios, and Discussion Guide.
• Ensure projector/screen is available for the Assertive Communication Toolkit slide deck.
• Print copies of the DEAR MAN Practice Scenarios worksheet for each participant.
• Arrange seating to facilitate group discussion and role-playing exercises.
Session Flow
1
Introduction & Warm-Up: Understanding "No"
15 mins
Welcome & Overview: Greet participants and introduce the session's focus: asserting needs and setting boundaries without guilt. Introduce the title: "Can I Say No Without Guilt?"
Opening Discussion (5 min): Begin with the Navigating 'No' Experiences discussion to explore common feelings and challenges around saying no.
Brief Check-in (5 min): Ask participants to share one word that comes to mind when they think about setting a boundary. (Slides 1-2)
2
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness & DEAR MAN
20 mins
Introduce DBT Skills (5 min): Explain that these are skills to help maintain relationships while getting needs met. (Slide 3)
Introduce DEAR MAN (15 min): Present the DEAR MAN acronym as a structured approach for assertive communication. Go through each step with examples. (Slides 4-10)
3
DEAR MAN Practice Scenarios
20 mins
Worksheet Introduction (5 min): Distribute the DEAR MAN Practice Scenarios . Explain that participants will work to apply the DEAR MAN skills to hypothetical situations.
Guided Practice (15 min): Allow time for participants to work through the scenarios. Offer support and answer questions. (Slide 11)
4
Role-Playing Difficult Conversations
25 mins
Explain Role-Playing (5 min): Introduce the Role-Playing Difficult Conversations activity. Emphasize a safe, confidential environment for practice.
Facilitated Role-Play (20 min): Guide participants through scenarios, encouraging them to apply the steps. Provide constructive feedback. (Slide 12)
5
Wrap-Up & Integration
10 mins
Group Share & Reflection (5 min): Ask for one key takeaway or skill they feel more confident using. (Slide 13)
Homework/Next Steps (5 min): Identify one real-life situation to practice a DEAR MAN skill before the next session. (Slide 14)
Required Materials
Toolkit Slide Deck
Role-Playing Activity Guide
Practice Scenarios Worksheet
Discussion Guide
Pens / Paper
Assertive Communication Toolkit Slideshow Can I Say No
Without Guilt?
Navigating Assertiveness and Boundaries with DBT Skills
Why is "No" so hard?
• Fear of upsetting others?
• Worry about being disliked?
• Feeling selfish?
• Past negative experiences?
"It's okay to feel this way. We're here to learn strategies!"
Teacher Note
Prompt a brief group share based on the initial discussion. Emphasize commonality.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness
Skills to help you:
Get your needs met
Maintain self-respect
Build stronger relationships
Resolve conflicts effectively
"It's about finding a balance between assertiveness and connection."
Meet DEAR MAN
Your toolkit for assertive communication.
D DESCRIBE
E EXPRESS
A ASSERT
R REINFORCE
M MINDFUL
A APPEAR CONFIDENT
N NEGOTIATE
Let's break it down!
D
Describe
Describe the situation factually.
Stick to objective facts.
Avoid judgments or assumptions.
Set the scene clearly.
Example
"When you arrive 30 minutes late for our appointments..."
(Instead of: "When you are always so inconsiderate...")
E
Express
Express your feelings and opinions.
Use "I" statements.
Clearly state how you feel.
Be genuine and direct.
Example
"...I feel frustrated and disrespected."
(Instead of: "You make me so angry!")
A
Assert
Ask for what you want or say 'no'.
Be clear and specific.
State your request directly.
Remember, it's okay to say 'no'!
Example
"...I need you to arrive on time in the future."
(Or: "...I won't be able to wait longer than 15 minutes.")
R
Reinforce
Explain the benefits of getting your way.
Show the benefit to the relationship.
Express appreciation in advance.
Role-Playing Conversations Activity Guide Group Activity
Role-Playing Difficult Conversations
DBT INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
Objective
To practice applying the DEAR MAN skills in simulated difficult conversations, building confidence and refining communication techniques in a safe, supportive environment.
Instructions
1
Form Groups: Divide into pairs or small groups of three.
2
Choose a Scenario: Select one situation from the list provided. Try multiple if time allows.
3
Assign Roles:
Speaker: Practices DEAR MAN skills.Listener: Reacts naturally (with some resistance).Observer (Opt): Provides objective feedback.
4
Practice: Run the scenario with the Speaker using all DEAR MAN steps. Keep it realistic!
5
Feedback: Use the checklist below to offer constructive, specific observations.
6
Switch Roles: Ensure everyone gets a turn to be the Speaker if time permits.
Scenarios for Practice
1. The Over-Sharer
A new acquaintance constantly over-shares personal details and expects you to do the same. Set a boundary about personal topics.
2. The Last-Minute Request
A family member asks for babysitting help tonight at the last minute, disrupting your planned relaxation evening.
3. The Unpaid Debt
A friend borrowed money a while ago and hasn't mentioned repaying it. You need it back now.
4. The Interrupting Colleague
In meetings, a colleague frequently talks over you. Assert your right to speak without interruption.
5. The Boundary-Crossing Parent
A parent gives unsolicited advice about your life choices (like your child's bedtime) despite your expressed discomfort.
6. The Unrealistic Workload
Your manager assigned a new project on top of a heavy load. Negotiate your workload for well-being.
Feedback Points for Observers
DEAR MAN Practice Scenarios Worksheet DEAR MAN Practice Scenarios
Name: __________________________
Instructions: Use the DEAR MAN steps to construct an assertive response for each situation. Write what you would say for the first four steps (D, E, A, R) and what you would do for the final three (M, A, N).
1
Scenario: The Overly Demanding Friend
Your friend frequently asks for favors that take up a lot of time. They just called asking you to help them move this weekend, but you had planned to use that time for much-needed rest.
D - Describe (Stick to the facts)
E - Express (Use "I" statements)
A - Assert (Make your request/refusal)
R - Reinforce (Highlight the benefit)
M - Mindful
Stay focused on the goal...
A - Appear Confident
Body language, eye contact...
N - Negotiate
Compromise or alternative...
2
Scenario: The Interrupting Colleague
In team meetings, a particular colleague frequently interrupts you and talks over you, making it difficult for you to share your ideas or complete your thoughts.
D - Describe (Stick to the facts)
E - Express (Use "I" statements)
A - Assert (Make your request/refusal)
R - Reinforce (Highlight the benefit)
Mindful Action
Confidence Plan
Potential Compromise
3
Scenario: The Unreturned Item
A family member borrowed an important item from you several weeks ago and hasn't returned it, despite you casually mentioning it. You need the item back.
D - Describe
E - Express
A - Assert
R - Reinforce
Implementation Notes (M, A, N) Navigating No Discussion Guide Navigating "No" Experiences
Opening Discussion & Personal Exploration
Facilitator Note
Use these prompts to open the session. Encourage open sharing and validate the complex emotions that arise when setting boundaries. Remind the group that this is a safe, non-judgmental space.
1
When you think about saying "no" or setting a boundary, what is the very first word or feeling that comes to mind?
2
Can you share a time when you found it particularly difficult to say "no"? What was the situation, and what made it so challenging?
3
What are some negative consequences you've experienced when you haven't set a boundary, even when you knew you should have?
4
Where do you think the feeling of guilt comes from? (Societal expectations, personal history, fear of rejection, etc.)
5
What would be different in your life or relationships if you could say "no" confidently and respectfully?
6
What are you hoping to gain from today's session on assertiveness and boundaries?
"Your 'no' is just as valuable as your 'yes.' It protects your energy and honors your worth."
