Joking or Jabbing Circle Guide Restorative Practice Circle Guide
Joking or Jabbing
ELA Integration: Analyzing Subtext, Intent, and Word Impact
Target Grade Grades 6–9
Lesson Purpose
This lesson uses a restorative circle structure combined with literary character analysis to help students navigate the boundary between playful teasing and hurtful behavior. Students build awareness of how "just kidding" language affects peer relationships.
Core Objectives
Differentiate play-teasing from hurtful words.
Analyze the power dynamics and subtext.
Evaluate impact vs. intent in communication.
Develop self-regulation in social language.
Materials Needed
A talking piece (soft ball, stone, or feather)
"Joking or Jabbing" Slide Deck
"Joking or Jabbing" Student Reflection Sheets
Selected YouTube video clip
Room Setup
Arrange chairs in a clear circle with no desks or barriers in the middle. Ensure the projector screen is visible to all students.
Video Selection Guidelines (Important)
Choose a high-impact video that focuses on word impact or bullying vs. teasing. Search YouTube for one of these recommended titles and embed the URL into your slide presentation:
Option A: Pixar's "For the Birds" Focus: Non-verbal exclusion, teasing, and natural consequences in a group. (3 mins)
Option B: "The Present" Short Film Focus: Initial harsh words masking insecurity, shifting to empathy. (4 mins)
Circle Sequence: Part 1
1
Opening Ceremony & Guidelines (5 mins)
Read the opening quote aloud to set a reflective tone: "Words are like arrows. Once released, they cannot be recalled." Remind students of the core circle guidelines: Respect the talking piece, speak with intention, listen with heart, and maintain confidentiality.
2
Check-In Round (10 mins)
Pass the talking piece to the left. Ask students to share: "On a scale of 1–5, with 5 being high energy, how are you feeling today, and what is one word that describes your mood?" Ensure everyone speaks or passes.
Unit: Peer Connections & Communication Page 1 of 2
Circle Sequence: Part 2
3
Video Screening & Discussion (12 mins)
Play your selected video. Pass the talking piece around for a 2-part discussion:
Round 1: "What did you observe about how character actions/words changed the group's energy?"Round 2: "Have you ever seen a situation where someone laughed on the outside, but was hurt on the inside?"
4
ELA Connection: Analyzing Tone & Subtext (15 mins)
In ELA, we look beyond literal words to analyze subtext (what is meant but not said) and tone (the speaker's attitude). Display Slide 6 ("Spot the Difference"). Distribute the Student Reflection Sheets. Have students read the two scenarios and analyze:
Scenario 1 (Teasing) Two close soccer teammates playfully mock each other's missed kicks during practice, laughing together and fist-bumping.
Scenario 2 (Jabbing) A student makes a loud remark about another's old shoes in front of a group, saying "Just kidding!" as others laugh.
Guiding Questions for ELA Analysis
Ask students to use literary analysis skills to examine real-life dialogue:
What is the audience reaction in both, and how does it shift the power dynamic?
What is the historical context of the relationship between characters?
How does the phrase "just kidding" act as a shield for the speaker?
Circle Sequence: Part 3
5
Closing Round & Reflection (8 mins)
Ask students to complete the final reflection question on their paper. To close the circle, pass the talking piece one final time for a quick-fire round:
"What is one commitment you will make to help keep teasing safe and stop the jabs in our classroom?"
Restorative Facilitation Note
If a student shares that they have been deeply hurt by "just kidding" comments, thank them for their bravery. Remind the group that impact always overrides intent —if the arrow pierces, it doesn't matter how it was aimed.
Unit: Peer Connections & Communication Page 2 of 2
Joking or Jabbing Slides Restorative Circle & ELA Connection
Joking or Jabbing?
Understanding the boundary between friendly teasing and hurtful words.
Grab your talking piece and let's begin. Start Circle
Our Circle agreements
Establishing Safety
Listen with Heart
Give full attention to the speaker without preparing your response.
Speak with Intention
Share your honest thoughts and speak only for yourself using "I" statements.
Honor the Talking Piece
Only the person holding the physical piece has the floor to speak.
Confidentiality
What is shared in the circle stays in the circle.
Do we all agree to uphold these guidelines today? (Nod or thumbs up)
Check-in Round
Round 1
"On a scale of 1 to 5, how is your energy today,
and what is one word describing your current mood?"
1
Drained
Need some quiet
2
Low Key
Checking in slowly
3
Steady
Ready to listen
4
Positive
Feeling engaged
5
Charged
Full of energy
Pass the talking piece around the circle. No interruptions.
Video Reflection
Observing Dynamics
Ready to Screen Video
[Insert your chosen YouTube Embed URL here in the slides presentation code]
What to look for:
Pay close attention to body language. How does the target look before and after others laugh? Is the laughter shared?
Post-Video Question:
"What did you notice about the impact of the joke on the group?"
Recommended: Pixar's "For the Birds" or "The Present" short film.
Intent vs. Impact
The Ripple Effect
The Arrow's Bow
Intent
What you meant to say or do.
"I was only kidding."
"It was just a joke."
"You took it too seriously."
The Arrow's Mark
Impact
How it actually felt to the other person.
Embarrassment or isolation
Faking a laugh to fit in
Erosion of trust and safety
🔑 Core Truth: Impact always overrides intent. If the arrow hurts, the shooter's aim doesn't change that.
Joking or Jabbing Reflection Sheet Name:
Date:
Student Worksheet
Joking or Jabbing?
In English class, we analyze how authors use dialogue to convey hidden dynamics. Today, we're applying those same "detective" skills to our everyday words.
Part 1: Spotting the Dialogue Subtext
Read the two dialogue scenes below. Identify the subtext (what is actually meant but not said) and the power balance .
Scenario A: The Soccer Pitch
"Nice kick, Messi! My grandma can boot it further than that!"
Scenario B: The Locker Room
"Did you buy those sneakers at a garage sale? Just kidding, man."
What is the speaker's true intent?
How does the listener react? (Body & Voice)
What is the speaker's true intent?
How does the listener react? (Body & Voice)
Part 2: The "Just Kidding" Shield
Why do people say "just kidding" after a hurtful comment? In literary terms, how does this phrase act as a defensive shield for the speaker, and why is it hard for the listener to stand up to it?
Part 3: My Ripple Commitment
Think about the "Ripple Effect" of your own words. Write 2-3 sentences outlining a commitment you can make to support your peers and avoid using "jabs" in our classroom.
Circle Practice: Teasing vs. Hurtful Words Be a Supportive Peer
