Conflict Navigators Facilitator Guide
Small Group Intervention • 5th Grade
20 Minutes 4–6 Students
Conflict Navigators Facilitator Guide
Quick-response instructional protocol for de-escalating peer friction and mastering restorative talk.
SEL Focus Self-Management & Peer Relationship Skills
Key Mechanism The C.A.L.M. Protocol (Pause, Own, Hear, Trade)
Required Materials Slides, Student Sheets, Pencils, Pocket Cards
20-Minute Minute-by-Minute Protocol
00:00–03:00 • Step 1: Battery Check & Brave Space 3 Mins
Facilitator Script: "Welcome team. Every fifth grader encounters friction—at recess, in group projects, or in line. Our goal today isn't to pretend we never get mad; it's learning how to steer before we crash."
Action: Rapid fist-to-five finger check: "How charged up or drained do you feel today?" Remind group: What is shared in this circle stays in this circle.
03:00–07:00 • Step 2: The Spark vs. The Fuel (Mini-Lesson) 4 Mins
Concept: Distinguish between the Spark (an accident, a disagreement, an unfair call) and the Fuel (insults, rolling eyes, dragging others in, gossiping).
Core Teaching: Teach C.A.L.M.: Cool the body (4-sec exhale) • Acknowledge what happened (Facts only) • Listen for 30 seconds without interrupting • Make a fair trade.
07:00–15:00 • Step 3: The Scenario Clinic (Paired Rehearsal) 8 Mins
Action: Distribute the Peace Protocol Worksheet. Split students into pairs. Assign each pair one high-impact 5th grade scenario (e.g., Four Square foul call or poster assignment takeover).
Practice: Give pairs 3 minutes to test the "I-Statement + Trade" formula: "When [Action], I feel [Emotion] because [Reason]. How about we [Solution]?" Facilitator rotates to coach tone and body language.
15:00–20:00 • Step 4: Pocket Commitment & Exit Launch 5 Mins
Synthesis: Have each student complete their Pocket Peace Card with their go-to cool-down reset and one specific peer strategy they commit to testing this week.
Wrap-Up: Quick whip-around: Each student states their chosen "Power Phrase" in under 5 seconds.
Small Group Facilitation Ground Rules
No Blame Games: Use "Person A" or disguised examples, not active classmate shaming.
Valid Feelings, Accountable Actions: Being angry is natural; lashing out is a choice.
Assume 10% Accidental: Most 5th-grade friction comes from thoughtlessness, not malice.
Fix the Problem, Not the Person: Target the specific friction, preserve the relationship.
Page 1 of 2 • Conflict Navigators Facilitator Guide
Coaching Scripts & Conflict Archetypes
Clinician & Teacher Reference
The 4 Most Common 5th-Grade Conflict Triggers
1. The Disputed Call (Recess / PE)
Someone claims a ball was "out"; the other insists it was "safe". Voices rise in under 10 seconds.
Prompt: "Argue less, replay more. Use a Do-Over or Rock-Paper-Scissors within 15 seconds, or game stops."
2. Group Work Hijack (Projects)
One student controls all writing and decisions; partner feels dismissed, shut out, or blamed for slacking.
Prompt: "Chunk and sign. Split the poster into labeled zones so everyone has guaranteed ownership."
3. The Whispered Exclusion (Cafeteria)
"You can't sit here, it's saved," or looking over and laughing while whispering across tables.
Prompt: "Direct check: 'When you whisper and look over, it feels exclusive. Can we just talk normally?'"
4. Accidental Insult / Sarcasm
"Just joking!" after a barbed comment about someone's shoes, haircut, or math grade.
Prompt: "The Impact Rule: 'Even if you were joking, it hit like an insult. I need you to drop that joke.'"
Facilitator Troubleshooting in Real Time
"It was THEIR fault!"
Response: "Right now we aren't court judges handing down a verdict. We're mechanics fixing a broken engine. Even if they threw the spark, what choice did you make with the fuel?"
Student Shuts Down
Response: Lower your volume and offer private processing: "You don't have to speak to the whole circle right now. Write your answer on your sheet, and I'll read it quietly with you."
Ongoing Active Feud
Response: Do not force immediate apologies. Transition to neutral boundaries: "We don't have to be best friends today, but we do need a peaceful working agreement for fifth grade."
End-of-Session 60-Second Check
Post-Session Evaluation
Did every student practice 1 verbal "I-Statement"?
Did each student fill out their Pocket Peace Card?
Check-in scheduled in 48 hours for follow-up?
Page 2 of 2 • Conflict Navigators Facilitator Guide
Peace Protocol Worksheet
Peace Protocol: Conflict Navigators
5th Grade Small Group • Turn Tension into Solutions
Name:
Date:
The C.A.L.M. Navigation System Core Strategy
C
Cool Engine
Pause. Exhale 4 sec. Drop your shoulders.
A
Acknowledge
Stick to facts. Name your feeling without insults.
L
Listen 30s
Zip your lips. Hear their perspective fully.
M
Make a Trade
Propose a fair, realistic win-win fix.
The Win-Win Statement Formula:
"When [what happened], I felt [emotion] because [reason]. Could we try [fair proposal]?"
Scenario 1
The Science Poster Hijack
Classroom Disagreement
You and Marcus are partnered on an ecosystem poster. Marcus pulls all the markers to his desk and says, "Just write the glossary notes on lined paper; I'm doing the drawings because I want an A." You feel angry, left out, and dismissed.
1. What is the Spark (the trigger), and what would be adding Fuel (making it worse)?
The Spark (the event):
Unhelpful Fuel to Avoid:
2. Script your C.A.L.M. Win-Win proposal to Marcus using the formula:
"When you..." (Action & Feeling)
"Could we try..." (Fair Trade Solution)
Page 1 of 2 • Conflict Navigators Small Group Activity
Scenario 2
The Recess Foul Call
Playground Dispute
During a 4-square game, Maya calls your hit "out" because she says it bounced twice. You know for sure it only bounced once. Maya yells: "You're out, go to the end of the line!" Other kids start chanting.
1. Select the quickest de-escalation move you could use in under 15 seconds:
Quick Do-Over / Re-serve
Rock-Paper-Scissors call
Ask a neutral spectator
2. What calm words can you say to keep the game moving without starting an argument?
My Personal Conflict Navigation Plan
Think of a situation where you usually feel annoyed or frustrated with peers.
My biggest friction trigger at school is:
My go-to physical cool-down trick:
One calm sentence I commit to saying when friction starts:
Pocket Peace Card • Cut Out & Keep in Pencil Pouch
5th Grade Navigator
1. Stop & Breathe
Exhale longer than inhale. Don't reply while your engine is at 100%.
2. Use The Phrase
Conflict Navigators Slides
5th Grade SEL Huddle
20-Minute Focus Session
Peer Conflict & Problem Solving
Conflict Navigators
How to handle friction, cool down fast, and solve everyday disagreements without blowing up friendships.
1. Spot the Spark
2. Use C.A.L.M.
3. Win-Win Trade
Core Mental Model
The Spark vs. The Fuel
Every big argument starts tiny. What turns a small moment into a giant explosion?
The Spark
The event that happens (often accidental or a simple disagreement):
- Someone cuts in line or bumps into you
- A disputed foul call in kickball or 4-square
- Disagreeing on who draws the poster title
Sparks are normal in 5th grade!
The Fuel
What WE do that turns a spark into a wildfire:
- Yelling insults or mocking someone
- Rolling eyes, shoving, or aggressive body language
- Dragging 5 other kids in: "Look what they did!"
The fuel is 100% our choice!
Navigators don't add fuel. We isolate the spark. Pause • Think • Respond
The 4-Step Tool
The C.A.L.M. Navigation Code
When your temperature rises, run through this 4-step sequence.
C
Cool Engine
4-second slow exhale. Drop your shoulders and un-clench your fists.
A
Acknowledge
State the facts only. Name your feeling without insults or blaming.
L
Listen 30s
Zip lips for 30 full seconds. Hear their side before you respond.
M
Make a Trade
Offer a fair compromise or quick reset so both people move on.
Rule of Thumb: Don't try to solve the problem while your engine is red-lining. Cool down first!
Speaking Like a Navigator
The Win-Win Power Script
Replace "You always ruin everything!" with this high-power statement formula.
The Universal Formula:
"When [what happened], I felt [emotion] because [reason].
Could we try [fair trade / solution]?"
Instead of saying:
"Give me the markers! You're being bossy and ruined the whole poster!"
Try Navigator Style:
"When you take all the markers, I feel left out because I want to draw too. Can we split the poster half and half?"
Turn to your partner: Read your worksheet script out loud in a calm voice. 60-Second Challenge