Chill Talk Slides Presentation CHILL TALK TACTICS
Staying Cool When Things Get Heated
The Conflict Spark
Conflict isn't bad—it's just a disagreement. But for some of us, it feels like an emergency.
Why it feels big:
Your brain goes into "Fight or Flight" mode.
Emotions move faster than words.
Anxiety makes us want to fix it NOW.
Brain: "EMERGENCY!"
The Power of "The Gap"
Between the Trigger and the Response, there is a space.
Trigger
Someone disagrees with you.
THE GAP
Stop. Breathe. Name the feeling.
Response
You use your words calmly.
"If you can find the gap, you own the outcome."
The ADHD Heat-Up
For ADHD brains, the "Brake System" for emotions sometimes takes a second to kick in.
0 to 100 in 2 seconds.
Harder to ignore the "loud" feelings.
Hyperfocus on being "Right."
The Lab Hack: Scan Your Body
Before you speak, check for:
Tight chest or shoulders?
Hot face or ears?
Clenched teeth/jaw?
Fast heartbeat?
If YES, you aren't ready to talk yet. Take 3 deep breaths.
The Regulation Lab Formula
1 "I feel..." Frustrated / Anxious
2 "When..." My idea is called boring
3 "I need..." To be heard and respected
Avoid saying:
"You're always being mean about the game I like!"
Try this:
"I feel frustrated when we argue about games. I need us to respect each other's opinions."
Lab Practice!
We're going to use our Conflict Comm Cards to test our skills.
1. Pause
2. Scan Body
3. Use Formula
Opinion Clash Social Story THE OPINION CLASH
A Regulation Lab Social Story
NAME: ________________________
DATE: ________________________
The Setting
Alex and Jordan were talking about a new movie. Alex loved it. Jordan said, "That movie was boring and a waste of money." Alex felt a "Zap" of anger. It felt like Jordan was insulting Alex personally.
The ADHD Heat-Up:
Face feels hot
Hands ball into fists
Brain wants to shout
Your Experience:
What does your body feel like during "The Zap"?
Finding the Gap
Alex found The Gap. They took a breath and scanned their body. They realized: "Jordan's opinion doesn't change how much I like the movie. We are just different."
STEP 1
Breathe
STEP 2
Body Scan
STEP 3
Pause
The Chill Choice
Alex used an I-Statement:
"I feel frustrated when you call it boring. I need us to just agree that we have different tastes."
Jordan agreed, and they moved on to talk about lunch.
Lab Analysis
1. Why did Alex feel like Jordan was insulting them personally?
2. What is your "Go-To" chill tactic for when you feel "The Zap"?
3. Write an I-Statement for a disagreement about your favorite game:
"I feel _________ when you ____________. I need _________________."
Conflict Comm Cards CONFLICT COMM CARDS
The Regulation Lab Scenarios
Cut Dashed Lines Side A (Front)
1
Scenario
The Unread Message
You texted your friend asking to hang out. They haven't replied, but you see they are posting social media stories. You feel anxious and ignored.
Heat-Up: "They're ignoring me!"
2
Scenario
Project Struggle
A group mate shuts down your poster idea because "it's too much work." You feel like your ideas don't matter and you're getting angry.
Heat-Up: "They never listen to me!"
3
Scenario
The "Joking" Comment
You're wearing a new hoodie. A classmate laughs and says, "Nice hoodie, did you get it from a dumpster?" Other people laugh. It hurts your feelings.
Heat-Up: "They're all mocking me!"
4
Scenario
Recess Disconnect
You want to play soccer, but your friends want to sit and talk. You feel left out and grumpy about their choice.
Heat-Up: "They're being so boring!"
LAB SOLUTIONS
Mirror of Scenarios
Side B (Back) Matches Side A Placement
2
Back: Solution
The Pause: This isn't a personal attack on your ideas. They might just want to save time. Scan your body for tension.
"I feel frustrated when my idea is called too much work. I need us to find a middle ground."
1
Back: Solution
The Pause: People get distracted or busy. It's not a sign they don't like you. Take 3 deep breaths.
"I feel anxious when I don't hear back. I need to trust my friend and wait until tomorrow."
4
Back: Solution
The Pause: Friends can enjoy different things at the same time. You aren't being left out on purpose.
"I feel restless when we just sit. I'm going to play soccer for a bit and join you later."
3
Back: Solution
The Pause: Scan your body. Are you getting too hot to think? Decide if they are joking or being mean before replying.
"I feel hurt when you joke about my clothes. I need you to not make comments like that."
Chill Talk Teacher Guide CHILL TALK TACTICS
Facilitation & Teacher Guide
Target: 6th Grade
Lesson Overview
This lesson helps students navigate emotional dysregulation during conflict. Using ADHD-informed strategies, students learn to identify physical triggers and use a communication formula to resolve disagreements without escalating.
ADHD Support Strategies
Executive Function Gap
Students with ADHD often experience "emotional flooding" where feelings move faster than their ability to inhibit a response. The "Pause" is a learned skill that requires explicit practice.
Interoception Focus
Help students identify their "early warning signs" (hot ears, fast heart) so they can trigger "The Gap" before reaching a crisis point.
Lesson Delivery Path
1
Guided Slides
Introduce the "Gap" and the "I-Statement Formula."
Discussion Prompt:
"How does your body tell you that you're getting heated?"
2
Social Story
Read the story of Alex and Jordan. Focus on the internal dialogue.
Key Concept:
"Agreeing to disagree" is a power move, not a loss.
3
Practice Cards
Use the scenarios to roleplay both "Heated" and "Chill" responses.
Pro-Tips for Success
Visual Reminders
Post the I-Statement formula in the room. ADHD students benefit from reduced cognitive load during stress.
The "Gap" Cue
Use a non-verbal hand signal (a horizontal "pause" motion) to remind students to find their gap when tensions rise.
