Conflict Escalator Slides The Conflict Escalator
How Small Problems Grow into Big Ones
Watch & Detect
"Observe the silent video. When does the disagreement turn into a conflict?"
Body Language
Facial Expressions
What is Escalation?
The Definition
Escalation is when a conflict gets worse or bigger.
Example: A disagreement over a toy turns into yelling and name-calling.
How Your Body Feels
Fast Heartbeat
Feeling Hot
Clenched Jaw
Sweaty Palms
Short Breaths
Tight Muscles
Conflict Triggers
A trigger is something that sets off a reaction. What starts your escalator moving up?
1
Being ignored or excluded
2
Someone taking your things
3
Name-calling or teasing
4
Unfair rules in a game
How to Step Off
Pause
Notice your body signs before you speak or act.
Cool Down
Take three deep breaths or count to ten.
Step Off
Walk away or say, "I need a moment to calm down."
Goal
Resolve the problem without hurting relationships.
Conflict Triggers Worksheet My Conflict Triggers
Personal Awareness Guide
Name:
Date:
My Warning Signs
When I start to feel angry or frustrated, what happens to my body? (Check all that apply)
Heart beats faster
Face feels hot or red
Hands clench into fists
Tummy feels tight or upset
Voice gets louder
Hard to think clearly
My Conflict Triggers
What specific things usually start my conflict escalator moving up? Write or draw them below.
Trigger 1
Trigger 2
My Cool Down Plan
When I notice my warning signs, I will try these two things to "step off" the escalator:
01
02
Keep your cool, stay in control!
Listening Loop Slides The Listening Loop
Hearing is with your ears, Listening is with your heart
The Telephone Test
Why do messages get mixed up?
We only hear bits and pieces.
We get distracted.
We don't check if we're right.
"Active listening prevents the mixed-up message!"
How to Listen Actively
Eyes
Make soft eye contact so they know you're focused.
Body
Nod your head and lean in slightly.
Mouth
Wait for them to finish, then summarize.
Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing means saying what you heard in your own words.
Try these Sentence Starters:
"So, what I'm hearing is..."
"In other words, you feel..."
"It sounds like you're saying..."
"Am I right that you feel... because...?"
Why do we do it?
Prevents
Shows
Cools Down
Listening Buddy Activity Listening Buddies
The Active Listening Challenge
Name:
Mission Briefing
Sit knee-to-knee with your partner. One person is the Speaker and one is the Active Listener. After the speaker shares, the listener must paraphrase before switching roles!
Round 1: Sharing Feelings
Speaker Topic:
"Tell your partner about a time you felt really proud of something you did at school."
Listener Checklist:
Eye Contact
Nodding/Leaning In
No Interrupting!
Listener: Write your paraphrase here...
"So, what I heard you say was..."
Post-Mission Debrief
1. How did it feel when your partner was listening to you actively?
2. What was the hardest part about being the listener?
The "Listening Star" Award: What is one thing your partner did really well?
Power of I Slides The Power of "I"
Saying What You Need Without Starting a Fight
The "You" Bomb
"You" Statements
"YOU always ruin everything!"
"YOU never let me have a turn!"
"YOU are so mean!"
Warning: Makes people defensive!
Defensive Meter
When people feel attacked, they stop listening and start fighting back.
The "I-Statement" Formula
1
"I feel..." (Identify your emotion)
2
"When you..." (Describe the action, no blaming)
3
"Because..." (Explain how it affects you)
The Transformation
From This:
"You never let me sit with you at lunch! You're so exclusive!"
To This:
"I feel lonely and left out when you don't save a seat for me, because I really value our friendship."
Pro Tips for "I" Statements
Watch Your Tone
Keep it calm. Even an "I" statement sounds like an attack if you yell it!
Be Specific
Describe exactly what happened, not their personality.
Focus on YOU
This is about YOUR feelings, not what's "wrong" with them.
Add a Request
End by asking for what you need: "Would you be willing to...?"
I Statement Lab Worksheet The "I" Statement Lab
Transforming "You" Bombs into "I" Solutions
Name:
The Secret Formula
"I feel..." + "When you..." + "Because..."
1
"You always talk over me! You think you're so much more important than everyone else!"
I feel...
When you...
Because...
2
"You are such a cheater! I saw you look at my paper during the quiz!"
I feel...
When you...
Because...
3
"Stop touching my stuff! You never respect my space and you're so annoying!"
I feel...
When you...
Because...
Why is an "I" statement better than a "You" statement?
Win Win Navigator Slides Win-Win Navigation
Finding Solutions Where Everyone Scores
The Orange Problem
"Two students want the only orange left in the basket."
Student A wants to drink the juice.
Student B needs the peel for a baking recipe.
If they fight and the orange gets squashed...
Lose - Lose
If they talk about WHY they want it...
Win - Win
Outcome Map
Win - Lose
One person gets everything, the other gets nothing. (Someone feels bad!)
Lose - Lose
Nobody gets what they want because of fighting or giving up. (Both feel bad!)
Win - Win
A solution where both people's needs are met. (Everyone feels good!)
The Brainstorming Secret
Instead of arguing over WHAT you want...
Ask WHY!
When we know why someone wants something, we can find a creative way to help both people.
"What do you really need?"
"How can we both be happy?"
Is it a Win-Win?
Did we both state our needs?
Did we brainstorm 3+ ideas?
Do we both feel okay with the choice?
Is our friendship still strong?
Win Win Workshop Worksheet The Win-Win Workshop
Navigating Towards Solutions That Work
Name:
Scenario 1
The Shared Tablet
"Maya and Sam both want to use the class tablet during free time. Maya wants to research a science project due tomorrow. Sam wants to play a game because he finished his work early."
Brainstorm Solutions:
1
2
3
The Win-Win Choice:
Which brainstormed solution is a Win-Win? Describe why both are happy.
Scenario 2
The Blacktop Battle
"One group wants to use the blacktop area for a soccer game. Another group wants to use the same area to draw a giant hopscotch course with chalk. There isn't enough room for both."
Brainstorm Solutions:
1
2
3
The Win-Win Choice:
Explain the win-win solution here...
Brainstormed together?
Both people satisfied?
Conflict resolved?
Conflict Scenario Cards Conflict Cards
Simulation scenarios for practicing active listening, "I" statements, and win-win negotiation.
Scenario A
The Stolen Seat
"You always sit in the same chair at the library. Today, you arrived a minute late and a classmate is sitting there. You feel frustrated because that's 'your' spot."
Tools: Active Listening, Win-Win
Scenario B
The Art Project Mess
"Your partner accidentally spilled green paint all over the poster you spent two hours drawing. You are angry and want to start over, but there isn't enough time."
Tools: "I" Statements, Cooling Down
Scenario C
The Playground Secret
"You heard a friend whispered a secret about you to another classmate. You feel betrayed and hurt, but you haven't talked to the friend about it yet."
Tools: "I" Statements, Active Listening
Scenario D
The Recess Rule
"Your group is playing a game, but one person keeps changing the rules to help their team win. The game is becoming unfair and everyone is starting to yell."
Tools: De-escalation, Win-Win
Teacher Instructions:
Cut out these cards and distribute to pairs or small groups. Have students spend 2 minutes preparing their "Conflict Resolution Plan" using their Peace Pilot tools before performing the role-play for the class.
Mediation Mission Report Mission Report
Conflict Resolution Simulation Feedback
Name:
Observation Mission
Watch your classmates' role-play carefully. What tools are they using to solve the problem?
Team Being Observed:
Peace Pilot Checklist:
Active Listening (Eye contact/Nodding)
Used "I" Statements
Brainstormed multiple ideas
Found a Win-Win solution
What was one thing this team did really well?
My Growth Reflection
Which conflict resolution tool do you feel most confident using?
Which tool do you want to practice more?
How will these skills help you outside of school?
