Tide Turns Facilitator Guide The Tide Turns
Facilitator Guide • Week 1
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Establish group norms and a "brave space" for sharing.
Understand that grief is non-linear (the "Wave" analogy).
Identify physical and emotional "waves" of grief.
Practice a grounding technique for overwhelming feelings.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "The Tide Turns"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 1)
Pens, colored pencils, or markers
Fidget tools (optional but recommended)
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Welcome & Anchor Norms
Quick intro: Name, who you are remembering, and a "low-stakes" question (e.g., favorite song right now). Set norms: confidentiality, "pass" option, and respect.
8 MIN
The Tide: Understanding Grief
Discuss the "Wave" analogy. It’s not a straight line; it’s unpredictable. Ask: "When do the waves feel the biggest?"
12 MIN
Reflection Log & Art
Students work on their log. Prompt: "Draw or describe your current 'tide.' Is it a calm pool, a stormy ocean, or a crashing wave?" Use background music.
5 MIN
Closing: Grounding Anchor
Teach the 5-4-3-2-1 technique as an "anchor" when waves get too high. Quick checkout.
Facilitator Tips
Silence is okay: Adolescents may need time to process before speaking. Don't rush to fill the silence.
Validate, don't fix: Use phrases like "That sounds incredibly heavy" or "Thank you for trusting us with that," rather than trying to offer solutions.
The Wave Metaphor: Remind them that waves eventually recede. We aren't trying to stop the waves; we're learning how to surf them.
Anchor Sail Reflection Log Anchor & Sail
A Reflection Log for the Journey
Navigator Name
Group Start Date
"You cannot calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass."
Week 1: The Tide Turns
Introduction
Drawing Your Tide
Think about the "waves" of grief you've felt lately. Are they massive and crashing? Or small ripples? Use the space below to draw what your tide looks like today.
What words describe your waves?
Where do you feel grief in your body?
Week 2: Mapping the Memory
The Story
The Memory Map
Draw a path showing 3–5 significant moments in your story with the person you lost. It can include happy memories or difficult ones.
Start here...
One sentence to summarize your story:
Week 3: Lightening the Load
Guilt & Regret
The Heavy Trunk
Sometimes we carry "heavy stuff" like guilt, "what-ifs," or things we wish we said. List them below.
Self-Compassion Anchor
What words of kindness would you say to yourself if you were your own best friend?
Week 4: The Internal Compass
Identity
Who am I now?
Grief changes us. What is one realization you've found?
The Best Part
What reminds you of them?
Continuing the Bond
How can you keep their memory "on board" as you move forward?
Week 5: Weathering the Storm
Coping
Identifying Triggers
What dates, places, or songs make the waves rise suddenly?
Safety Harbor Plan
When a storm hits, what are 3 things I can do to feel safe?
1
2
3
Week 6: Beneath the Surface
Secondary Loss
The Ripple Effect
Grief isn't just about the person we lost; it's about all the things that changed *because* they are gone. What other changes ("ripples") have you noticed?
HOME:
SCHOOL:
FRIENDS:
ROUTINES:
What is the hardest change to manage?
Week 7: Messages in a Bottle
Communication
Signal Flare Practice
Write down three "flares" you could use to tell others what you need when you are struggling.
For Friends
"Hey, I'm having a rough day, can we..."
For Teachers
"I'm finding it hard to focus today because..."
For Family
"It would really help me if we could..."
Week 8: Finding North
Resilience
The Resilience Compass
Even in the storm, you've found ways to keep going. What strengths have you discovered in yourself?
Meaning Making
What is one thing you have learned about life, love, or yourself through this journey?
Week 9: Legacy of the Sea
Honoring
A Space to Honor
Use this entire page to create a tribute. You can draw, write lyrics, paste a photo, or list their favorite things. This is your space to celebrate them.
Week 10: Charting the Course
The Horizon
My Support Crew
Who can you talk to when you leave this group?
A Message to Future Me
One Bright Star
One thing you are looking forward to?
"Safe sailing, Navigator. You've got this."
Tide Turns Slides Week 1 The Tide Turns
Anchor & Sail • Week 1
Our Anchors (Group Norms)
01
The Circle Stays Here
Confidentiality: stories stay, lessons leave.
02
The "Pass" is Permanent
You never have to speak if you aren't ready.
03
Brave Space
Respect all feelings—there are no "wrong" ones.
04
One Mic
One person speaks at a time. We listen with our hearts.
The Waves of Grief
"Grief isn't a straight line. It's like the ocean. Some days are calm. Other days, a sneaker wave hits you out of nowhere when you're just standing on the shore."
The Fog
Numbness, confusion, and "autopilot."
The Storm
Anger, intense pain, or physical exhaustion.
The Calm
Moments of peace, laughter, or "normalcy."
Current Tide
Open your Reflection Log to Week 1.
What does your "tide" look like right now?
Use the space to draw or write about the waves you've been feeling this week.
Be as messy or as neat as you want. There are no rules.
Facilitator: Play soft, instrumental music during this time.
Your Emergency Anchor
When the waves feel too big to handle, use the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique to bring yourself back to the shore.
5
See
4
Touch
3
Hear
2
Smell
1
Taste
Mapping Memory Facilitator Guide Mapping the Memory
Facilitator Guide • Week 2
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Share the "story of the loss" in a safe, contained way.
Identify significant moments (both positive and difficult) in the grief journey.
Practice narrative processing to build a coherent story.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Mapping the Memory"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 2)
Markers and colored pens
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Check-in: The High Tide
Review last week’s grounding tool. Ask: "What was one 'wave' you noticed this week?"
15 MIN
Art Activity: The Memory Map
Students use the Reflection Log to map their journey. Encourage them to include 3-5 key points. Note: This can be emotional; keep the room quiet and supportive.
8 MIN
Optional Sharing
"Does anyone want to share one 'stop' on their map?" Focus on the fact that everyone's map looks different.
2 MIN
Closing
Briefly preview next week (addressing the 'heavy stuff').
Facilitator Tips
Containment: If a student gets overwhelmed while mapping, remind them they only have to include what they are ready to process today.
Honoring Differences: Some maps may start at the death; others may start years before with happy memories. Validate all choices.
Language: Use "death" and "died" instead of "passed away" to provide clarity and reduce the 'taboo' nature of the topic.
Mapping Memory Slides Week 2 Mapping the Memory
Anchor & Sail • Week 2
Check-in: The High Tide
Last week, we talked about The Wave. Think about your past week...
What was one "wave" you noticed this week?
Did you use your "Anchor" (5-4-3-2-1 technique)?
The Power of Story
Grief can feel like a jumbled mess of memories, feelings, and events.
When we put our experience into a map, it helps our brain make sense of what happened.
Mapping helps us:
Organize the chaos
Honor significant moments
Own our story
The Memory Map
Turn to Week 2 in your Reflection Log.
Pick 3-5 Points
Events that stand out in your journey.
Draw the Path
Connect them. Is it straight? Curvy? Rocky?
Add Symbols
Use icons or colors for feelings.
"You only have to map what you are ready to look at today."
"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it."
— Brené Brown
Lightening Load Facilitator Guide Lightening the Load
Facilitator Guide • Week 3
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Identify feelings of guilt, regret, or "unfinished business."
Distinguish between healthy responsibility and irrational guilt.
Practice a self-compassion exercise to release "heavy weight."
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Lightening the Load"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 3)
Optional: A physical heavy item (like a rock or weighted bag) for demonstration
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Opening: The Heavy Rock
Discussion: "What makes a journey harder?" Introduce the idea that guilt is like carrying a heavy rock in your backpack. It serves no purpose but makes every step harder.
10 MIN
Reflection Log: The Heavy Trunk
Students list their "what-ifs" or "I wish I hads" in the Log. Ensure they know they don't have to share these specifics.
12 MIN
Compassion Exercise
Discuss "The Best Friend Test" (Self-Compassion Slide). Students write a message of kindness to themselves in their Log.
3 MIN
Closing
"I release what isn't mine to carry." Preview Week 4: Who we are now.
Facilitator Tips
Irrational vs. Rational: Most adolescent grief guilt is "magical thinking" (e.g., "If I had stayed home that day, they wouldn't have died"). Gently challenge the logic while honoring the feeling.
The "Shoulds": Listen for the word "should." When a student says "I should have...", ask "If you were 100% in control of the universe, would that be true?"
Compassion: Modeling is key. Use a warm, non-judgmental tone throughout this session.
Lightening Load Slides Week 3 Lightening the Load
Anchor & Sail • Week 3
What makes a journey harder?
Imagine you're hiking a mountain. You have a sturdy backpack and plenty of water.
But someone keeps slipping heavy rocks into your bag when you aren't looking.
Guilt, regret, and "what-ifs" are those rocks.
They don't help you climb.
Guilt vs. Regret
Guilt
"This happened because of me."
Guilt is when you think you caused the loss or could have stopped it. It's often "magical thinking"—taking blame for things you couldn't control.
Regret
"I wish I had said..."
Regret is normal. We all wish we had more time, more "I love yous," or one more conversation. It's a sign of how much we care.
The Best Friend Test
If your best friend was carrying the same "rocks" you are, what would you say to them?
"It's not your fault."
"They knew you loved them."
"You did your best."
Now, turn to Week 3 in your Reflection Log and say those things to yourself.
Leaving the Weight Behind
"I release what isn't mine to carry. I honor my love by choosing kindness for myself today."
Internal Compass Facilitator Guide The Internal Compass
Facilitator Guide • Week 4
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Explore how identity has shifted since the loss.
Identify "internalized" qualities of the person who died.
Understand "Continuing Bonds"—finding new ways to maintain a connection.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "The Internal Compass"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 4)
A small mirror (optional) or "reflective" items
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Opening: Who Am I Now?
Discussion: Loss often changes how we see ourselves. Ask: "What is something new you've learned about yourself since your loss?" (Focus on strengths/resilience).
10 MIN
Continuing Bonds: Keeping the Light
Introduce the concept that we don't "get over" loss; we "take them with us." Slide: "The Part of You in Me."
12 MIN
Reflection Log Activity
Students identify a personality trait or habit they have that reminds them of the person they lost. Draw or write how they keep that connection alive.
3 MIN
Closing Circle
Check-out: One word that describes a part of that person you are keeping with you (e.g., "Kindness," "Humor," "Strength").
Facilitator Tips
Identity Shift: Adolescence is already a time of identity searching. Grief complicates this. Validate that feeling "different" from peers is common.
Continuing Bonds: This is a shift from "closure" (leaving the person behind) to "connection" (bringing them with us). This is often very relieving for students.
The Mirror: Encourage students to look at their own strengths as a reflection of the love they received.
Internal Compass Slides Week 4 The Internal Compass
Anchor & Sail • Week 4
Who am I now?
A big loss can feel like it wipes away parts of who you were.
But it also brings out things you didn't know you had:
Resilience
Deep empathy for others
A different perspective on life
"You are not just 'the person who lost someone.' You are a navigator who has seen a storm and survived it."
The Connection Continues
We don't "get over" someone. We move forward with them in our hearts.
Hobbies
Doing things they loved to do.
Traits
Using their humor or kindness.
Values
Living by what was important to them.
The Part of You in Me
Open your Reflection Log to Week 4.
"What is one trait you have that reminds you of them? Is it your laugh? Your stubbornness? Your love of video games?"
"How can you use that trait as a 'compass' to guide you this week?"
They are part of your map now.
You don't have to navigate alone.
Beneath Surface Facilitator Guide Beneath the Surface
Facilitator Guide • Week 6
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Identify "secondary losses" (changes in life caused by the primary loss).
Acknowledge the "ripples" of grief in routines, relationships, and identity.
Normalize feelings of frustration or anger about these changes.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Beneath the Surface"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 6)
Blue markers or crayons
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Check-in: The Ripple Metaphor
When a stone hits the water, the splash is the big loss. The ripples are all the changes that follow. What ripples have you felt this week?
10 MIN
Activity: Mapping the Ripples
Discussion about home, school, and social changes. Use the Reflection Log to identify specific changes in each area.
10 MIN
Group Discussion: The "Hardest" Ripple
Share which changes feel the most difficult. Validate that it's okay to miss the old routine just as much as the person.
5 MIN
Closing: Finding Still Water
Brief grounding exercise. Even in a pond of ripples, we can find small moments of calm.
Facilitator Tips
Secondary Losses: Students often feel guilty for being upset about "small things" like not having a ride to practice or a change in dinner routines. Remind them that these "small" ripples are significant because they are daily reminders of the loss.
Identity Shift: Some students may feel they've become "the kid whose dad died" or have taken on new adult responsibilities. Acknowledge these identity ripples.
Beneath Surface Slides Week 6 Beneath the Surface
Anchor & Sail • Week 6
The Ripple Effect
The Splash:
The primary loss of the person you love.
The Ripples:
The "secondary losses"—all the changes in your life that happened because of the splash.
Identifying Ripples
Home
Chores, who cooks, moving house, financial changes.
School
Grades, attendance, focus, sports, extracurriculars.
Social
Friendships, being "the kid with the loss," social energy.
Self
Your identity, your future plans, your personality.
"It is okay to be upset about the ripples."
Missing a routine, a tradition, or a sense of normalcy is part of missing the person. Every ripple matters.
Finding North Facilitator Guide Finding North
Facilitator Guide • Week 8
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Identify personal strengths developed through the grief journey.
Explore the concept of "post-traumatic growth."
Find meaning in the experience of loss and healing.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Finding North"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 8)
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Check-in: The North Star
Sailors used the North Star to find their way home in total darkness. What has been your "North Star" (the thing that keeps you going) during this journey?
10 MIN
Strength Identification: The Resilience Compass
Brainstorming personal strengths. Examples: Empathy, patience, courage, adaptability. Use the Reflection Log to list 3 discovered strengths.
10 MIN
Meaning Making: What have I learned?
Discussion: Grief is a terrible teacher, but it does teach. What is one thing you know now that you didn't know before?
5 MIN
Closing: Honoring Your Growth
Brief silent reflection. Acknowledge how far they have come since Week 1.
Facilitator Tips
Post-Traumatic Growth: This is a sensitive topic. Be careful not to suggest that the loss was "worth it" because of the growth. Instead, focus on the fact that *they* are resilient and have found ways to survive and grow despite the tragedy.
Strength Examples: Many teens don't see themselves as strong. Reframe their behaviors: "Being here today shows immense courage," or "Being able to help a friend shows new empathy."
Finding North Slides Week 8 Finding North
Anchor & Sail • Week 8
Your North Star
In the middle of the dark ocean, sailors looked for one star that never moved—the North Star.
"What is the thing that has kept you going through the hardest nights?"
A specific memory
A promise to yourself
A person who supports you
A goal for the future
The Resilience Compass
Grief is a storm you didn't ask for, but navigating it has given you new Strengths. Which of these can you feel in yourself?
Empathy
Understanding others' pain.
Courage
Facing each day anyway.
Patience
Waiting for the tide to turn.
Insight
Knowing what truly matters.
"The strongest trees are those in the windiest places."
You are not the same person you were ten weeks ago. You have navigated a storm, and you are still sailing. That is your strength.
Weathering Storm Facilitator Guide Weathering the Storm
Facilitator Guide • Week 5
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Identify personal "triggers" (dates, places, sensory inputs).
Understand why certain times (anniversaries, holidays) are harder.
Develop a "Safety Harbor Plan" for navigating future difficult moments.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Weathering the Storm"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 5)
Post-it notes or index cards
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Opening: Sneaker Waves
Review the "Wave" metaphor. Sometimes waves are predictable (birthdays), sometimes they are "sneakers" (a certain smell or song). Discuss "Triggers."
10 MIN
Identifying the Clouds
Students work in their Reflection Log to identify their personal triggers. Facilitate a discussion on why these things hit us so hard.
12 MIN
The Safety Harbor Plan
Help students brainstorm 3 actionable steps to take when they feel a storm coming (e.g., text a specific friend, use a grounding tool, go to a safe space).
3 MIN
Closing: Signal Flares
Preview Week 6: Communication. How to ask for help when you're in a storm.
Facilitator Tips
Predictable vs. Unpredictable: Help students see that they can prepare for predictable triggers (like a death anniversary) which makes the unpredictable ones feel less overwhelming.
Validation: Some students may feel "weak" for having triggers. Remind them that triggers are just the brain's way of protecting them from a past pain.
Actionable Steps: Ensure the "Safety Harbor" steps are very concrete. "Self-care" is too vague; "Listen to my 10-minute chill playlist" is better.
Weathering Storm Slides Week 5 Weathering the Storm
Anchor & Sail • Week 5
Sneaker Waves (Triggers)
A Trigger is something that brings back an intense memory or feeling of grief out of nowhere.
It can feel like a "sneaker wave" that knocks you off your feet even when the sun is out.
Common Triggers:
A specific song
Anniversaries or holidays
A restaurant or park
The smell of a certain food
Identifying the Clouds
What are your clouds? Turn to Week 5 in your Reflection Log and list the things that act as "sneaker waves" for you.
Understanding your triggers is the first step to weathering the storm.
The Safety Harbor Plan
When you feel a storm coming, you need a plan to reach Safety Harbor.
What are 3 things you can do right now to feel safe?
1
A person I can text
2
A physical grounding tool
3
A safe place to go
Storms don't last forever.
"You are the sky. The clouds are just what's passing through."
Messages Bottle Facilitator Guide Messages in a Bottle
Facilitator Guide • Week 7
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Identify common communication barriers (e.g., "I'm fine").
Practice "Signal Flares"—clear, brief requests for support.
Develop a list of specific needs for friends, teachers, and family.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Messages in a Bottle"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 7)
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Check-in: The "I'm Fine" Mask
Discussion: How many times a day do you say "I'm fine" when you aren't? Why is it hard to say what we actually need?
10 MIN
The Signal Flare Metaphor
A signal flare doesn't explain everything; it just says "I need help here." Practice writing short, actionable "flares."
10 MIN
Activity: Filling the Bottles
Students work in Reflection Logs to customize messages for different "crews" (Friends, Teachers, Family).
5 MIN
Closing: Brave Words
Final go-around: One "Signal Flare" you might use this week.
Facilitator Tips
Advocacy vs. Explanation: Teens often feel they have to explain their whole grief story to get help. Emphasize that they have a right to privacy. They can ask for what they need without explaining why they need it.
Specific Requests: "I need support" is vague. Help them brainstorm specifics: "I need a quiet place to sit," "I need to skip this topic in class," "I need a distraction."
Messages Bottle Slides Week 7 Messages in a Bottle
Anchor & Sail • Week 7
The "I'm Fine" Mask
Grief can be exhausting, but sometimes the most exhausting part is pretending you're okay.
"Why is it so much easier to say 'I'm fine' than to ask for what we actually need?"
I'M FINE.
Signal Flares
A Signal Flare is a short, clear message that lets your crew know you need a hand.
To a Friend
"I'm having a rough grief day. Can we just hang out and play video games? No talking needed."
To a Teacher
"I'm finding it hard to focus today. Is it okay if I step out for 5 minutes or turn this in tomorrow?"
To Family
"I'm feeling overwhelmed. Could you help me with [chore/task] tonight?"
Clear Signals
Blurry (Hard to Help)
"Everything sucks."
"I don't know."
"Leave me alone."
Clear (Actionable)
"I need a distraction."
"I need to talk for 10 minutes."
"I need a quiet space."
Legacy Sea Facilitator Guide Legacy of the Sea
Facilitator Guide • Week 9
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Create a meaningful tribute to the person who died.
Share personal legacies and values inherited from the deceased.
Prepare for the final group closing ritual.
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Legacy of the Sea"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 9)
Art supplies: Colored pencils, stickers, magazine cutouts
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Check-in: Carrying the Light
Discussion: What is one positive thing about the person you lost that you try to "carry" in your own life? (e.g., their humor, their kindness, their love of music).
20 MIN
Art Activity: The Legacy Tribute
Students use the full-page spread in their Reflection Log to create a tribute. This can be silent work time with music.
5 MIN
Closing: Group Share & Ritual Prep
Voluntary sharing of tributes. Brief explanation of next week's final session and the "Closing Anchor" ceremony.
Facilitator Tips
Silence as Space: The art activity should be a reverent space. Playing soft, instrumental music can help students focus and process their emotions without the pressure to talk.
Legacy: Help students see legacy not just as "big things" but as small, everyday habits or traits. "I carry her love for dogs" or "I carry his stubbornness."
Anxiety about Ending: Remind them that next week is our last meeting. This gives them time to emotionally prepare for the goodbye.
Legacy Sea Slides Week 9 Legacy of the Sea
Anchor & Sail • Week 9
What is Legacy?
A Legacy is like a treasure you inherited. It's the part of the person that lives on inside you.
Think about:
A joke they always told.
A value they believed in.
A skill they taught you.
A feeling they always gave you.
A Space to Honor
"Turn to the full-page layout for Week 9 in your Reflection Log."
You might...
Write their favorite song lyrics.
Draw a place you loved together.
Make a list of "I Carry..." statements.
You might...
Glue in a photo or cutout.
Use colors that remind you of them.
Write a letter you'll never send.
They are part of your story.
Their legacy isn't behind you—it's traveling with you.
Charting Course Facilitator Guide Charting the Course
Facilitator Guide • Week 10
Duration 30 MIN
Session Objectives
Finalize a "support crew" for life after the group.
Reflect on the 10-week journey and major takeaways.
Participate in a closing ritual and celebrate "graduation."
Materials Needed
Session Slides: "Charting the Course"
Student "Reflection Log" (Week 10)
Closing Tokens (e.g., small polished "anchor" stones)
Pacing Guide
5 MIN
Check-in: The Horizon
Discussion: We've been sailing together for 10 weeks. What does the horizon look like for you today compared to Week 1?
10 MIN
Support Crew Review
Students finalize their list of 3+ people they can turn to. Discuss the importance of using "Signal Flares" (Week 7) in the future.
10 MIN
Final Reflection Log Entry
"One Bright Star" and "Message to Future Me." Encouraging students to take their logs home as a permanent map.
5 MIN
Closing Ritual: Anchoring the Journey
Final circle. Share one word about the group. Hand out tokens. "Group Dismissed."
Facilitator Tips
Ending as Beginning: Frame the end of the group not as the end of their healing, but as the beginning of a new chapter where they are the captains of their own ships.
Transition Anxiety: Some students may feel nervous about not having this safe space every week. Reassure them that the connections made and tools learned are always with them.
Charting Course Slides Week 10 Charting the Course
Anchor & Sail • Week 10
Your Future Crew
You have finished your training. But even the best captains need a Crew.
Your crew are the people you can send a Signal Flare to when the waves get high again.
"Who will you call first when you need an anchor?"
The Journey Map
Week 1
Tide Turns
Week 2
Mapping
Week 3
The Load
Week 4
Compass
Week 5
The Storm
Week 6
Surface
Week 7
Messages
Week 8
North Star
Week 9
Legacy
Week 10
Horizon
One Bright Star
"Look at the last page of your Reflection Log one final time."
What is one thing you are looking forward to? One tiny spark of hope on the horizon?
You are a Navigator.
The journey continues, but you are not alone.
SAFE SAILING.
