Mediation Guide Cards Prerecorded
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RESTORATIVE
MEDIATIONS
Guide Deck for Peer Conflict
The 5 Core Shifts
Externalizing lowers threat
Double listening prevents labels
Naive curiosity increases agency
Counter-stories invite best selves
Repair replaces punishment
Step 01
Set the Frame
Goal: Shift from blame to curiosity
2–3 Minutes
Scripted Opening:
“We’re not here to decide who is right or wrong. We’re here to understand what showed up between you and how each of you responded.”
Write on Board:
“The person is not the problem. The problem is the problem.”
Ground Rules:
- • Speak only for yourself
- • No interruptions allowed
- • Curious, not "trouble" questions
Step 02
Externalize
Goal: Separate student from problem
Action:
Give the conflict a neutral name together. Refer to it in the third person.
Prompt:
“If we talked about this problem like it had its own name, what would we call it?”
Rumor Spiral Group Text Blow-Up The Pressure to Impress
Step 03
Double Listening
Goal: Hear the Problem Story
Curious & Naive Questions:
-
“When the problem showed up, how did you respond in that moment?”
-
“Because of the problem, what did you assume about the other person?”
Counselor Move: Neutral Reflection
“So it sounds like the problem pushed you toward reacting quickly.”
No correcting. No interpreting.
Step 04
Find Gaps
Goal: Surface Counter-Stories
Listen for resistance to the conflict:
“Was there a moment when you almost did something different?”
“What stopped this from getting even worse?”
“What does that tell me about what kind of person you’re trying to be?”
Counselor Move: Name the Value
“That sounds like loyalty. I'm hearing fairness mattered there.”
Step 05
Map Effects
Goal: Awareness without blame
“How has the problem affected you? Who else did it affect? What did it get in the way of?”
Impact
vs
Intent
Focus on tracing the reach of the story, not the student.
Step 06
Counter-Story
Goal: Strengthen student agency
Strengthen the Preferred Identity:
“If the problem didn’t have so much control, how would you want this to go instead?”
“What kind of person do you want to be known as in situations like this?”
Counselor Script:
“I am someone who...”
“In conflicts, I try to...”
Step 07
Repair
Goal: Concrete & future-focused repair
Restorative Prompts:
S
Specific
T
Time-Bound
C
Chosen
Step 08
Re-Authoring
Goal: Lock in the new story
Closing Scripted Move:
“Today, I noticed a value show up when you both decided to talk this through. That tells me this conflict doesn’t get to define who you are.”
Closing Reflection:
“If someone asked what you learned about yourself today, what would you say?”
Bank
Common Values:
Fairness Loyalty Inclusion Bravery Respect
Emergency Reframes:
- “What was the problem trying to trick you into believing?”
- “How did you manage to resist its control today?”
Mediation Notes Area
