Decoder Slides
SOCIAL DECODER
Bullying vs. Conflict
The Big Question
Is it Conflict or is it Bullying?
Why it matters
Sometimes people treat us in ways that feel bad. To handle it correctly, we need to decode what is happening.
What is Conflict?
Normal Social Rub
-
Equal Power
Both people are on the same level (friends, classmates).
-
Happens Once in a While
It's not a regular, planned thing.
-
Accidental or Emotional
Someone got angry or made a mistake.
KEY SIGN:
"Both people feel bad and usually want to fix the problem."
What is Bullying?
Intentional Harm
-
Imbalance of Power
One person uses strength, age, or popularity to control another.
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Repeated Behavior
It happens over and over again to the same person.
-
On Purpose
The goal is to hurt someone or make them feel small.
KEY SIGN:
"One person is hurting, while the other person feels powerful or enjoys it."
Decoder Comparison
| Feature | Conflict | Bullying |
|---|
| Frequency | Occasional | Repeated |
| Intent | Not planned to hurt | Planned to hurt |
| Power | Equal Power | Imbalance of Power |
| Remorse | Feels bad/Sorry | No Remorse |
01
Decoder Case: The Soccer Game
"Two friends are playing soccer. One accidentally trips the other while trying to get the ball. They start arguing about whether it was a foul and both get really angry and walk away."
CONFLICT
Why? Equal power, heat of the moment, not repeated.
BULLYING
02
Decoder Case: The Cafeteria
"Every day, a group of older students blocks the path of a younger student in the cafeteria. They make fun of his lunch and tell him he isn't allowed to sit at the 'cool tables' because he's a 'loser'."
CONFLICT
BULLYING
Why? Power imbalance (older students), repeated daily, intentional harm.
Decoder Action Plan
For Conflict:
- Talk it out with the other person.
- Try to find a compromise.
- Apologize for your part in it.
For Bullying:
- Tell a trusted adult immediately.
- Stay in groups with safe friends.
- Know it is NOT your fault.
Scenario Sort Worksheet
SOCIAL DECODER
Field Report: Conflict vs. Bullying
Agent Details
Name:
Date:
[C] Conflict
Occasional, equal power, both feel bad, accidental or heat of the moment.
[B] Bullying
Repeated, power imbalance, intentional harm, one-sided power.
Case #101
?
Leo and Sam are best friends. During a video game, Sam loses and gets frustrated. He yells at Leo and tells him he's "annoying" before logging off. The next day, Sam apologizes for being a sore loser.
DECODE:
(Write C or B)
WHY?
Case #102
?
Maya is a popular 8th grader. For the last three weeks, she has been whispering to her friends whenever 6th grader Chloe walks by. Today, Maya posted a picture of Chloe online with the caption "Nobody wants to be your friend."
DECODE:
(Write C or B)
WHY?
Case #103
?
A group of boys won't let Toby join their basketball game. They tell him he isn't good enough. This has happened every single lunch break for two months. Every time Toby tries to play, they laugh and throw the ball over the fence.
DECODE:
(Write C or B)
WHY?
Personal Defense Strategy
If you were Chloe (Case #102), what is the very first step you should take to decode and solve this problem?
Social Decoder Assessment Tool • Telehealth Resource • Page 1 of 1
Social Decoder Key Guide
Social Decoder Answer Key
Facilitator Guide • Conflict vs. Bullying
CASE #101 Conflict
Decoding Evidence:
- Equal Power: Leo and Sam are "best friends" and on the same social level.
- Remorse: Sam apologized the next day. In bullying, the person rarely feels sorry.
- Frequency: This is presented as a one-time frustration over a game.
CASE #102 Bullying
Decoding Evidence:
- Power Imbalance: Maya is an 8th grader and "popular," while Chloe is a 6th grader.
- Repeated: This has been happening for three weeks.
- Intentional: Posting a picture with a mean caption is a planned action to cause harm.
CASE #103 Bullying
Decoding Evidence:
- Power Imbalance: A group of boys against one individual (Toby).
- Repeated: Every lunch break for two months.
- Exclusion: Intentional exclusion from social activities is a form of social bullying.
Telehealth Facilitation Tips
On-Screen Engagement
When sharing the slides, use the "Practice Cases" as a pause point. Ask the student to point to the screen or use a "thumbs up/down" for Conflict vs. Bullying before revealing the answer.
Deepening the Lesson
Ask: "Have you ever seen something like Case #102 in real life?" or "How does your body feel when you are in a conflict versus when you are being bullied?"