Friendship Fires Lesson Plan Friendship Fires: Put Them Out!
Navigating Relational Aggression in 6th Grade
30 Minutes
Objective
Students will be able to identify different forms of relational aggression and apply strategies to respond to it constructively, promoting healthier peer relationships.
Audience
6th Grade Students
Designed for Advisory or Small Group (Tier 2)
Materials
Friendship Fires Slide Deck
Teacher Script: Friendship Fires
Friendship Firefighter Activity
Friendship Firefighter Answer Key
Why it Matters
Relational aggression can significantly impact students' well-being and academic success. Learning to identify and address it helps create a safer, more inclusive school community.
Preparation Steps
• Review the Slide Deck and Script to become familiar with content.
• Print or prepare the Friendship Firefighter Activity for small groups.
• Have the Answer Key ready for the wrap-up discussion.
• Ensure projector/display is working for the video on Slide 3.
• Arrange desks for small group discussions or plan for pairs.
Lesson Flow
Min 0-5
Warm-Up: What's a "Friendship Fire"?
Introduce the concept of relational aggression as a 'fire'. Use Slides 1-2 and the Teacher Script.
Min 5-10
Video: Understanding Relational Aggression
Play the video on Slide 3. Check for student understanding after viewing.
Min 10-15
Identifying Examples
Discuss gossip, exclusion, and silent treatment. Use Slides 4-6 to show how these actions feel.
Min 15-25
Becoming a Friendship Firefighter
Introduce 4 key strategies. Students work in small groups on the scenario activity (Slide 7-8).
Min 25-30
Share and Reflect
Bring the class back together to share firefighter responses using the Answer Key for guidance. Wrap up with Slide 9.
Friendship Fires Slide Deck Friendship Fires:
Put Them Out!
How do we deal with tricky friendship situations?
Advisory Unit: Healthy Relationships
What are "Friendship Fires"?
Relational Aggression
Hurting someone by damaging their relationships or social status.
!
It's NOT physical, but it still causes pain.
Often happens in close friendships.
What is Relational Aggression?
Embedded media
Watch for examples and think about how the characters feel.
Scenario 1: The Whispers
Gossip
"Did you hear what Sarah said about Maya? She's not really her friend."
Spreading rumors or mean comments
Talking behind someone's back
How does this feel?
Why is gossip a "fire"? How does it burn bridges?
Scenario 2: Silent Treatment
Exclusion
"You can't sit with us."
Intentionally leaving someone out
Ignoring someone on purpose
Why is it hard?
What does it feel like to be "invisible" in a group?
Scenario 3: The Ultimatum
Manipulation
"If you hang out with Alex, I won't be your friend anymore."
Trying to control someone's friendships
Using threats to get your way
Pressure!
Is it really a friendship if there are "rules" or threats?
Become a Friendship Firefighter!
1 Direct Talk
Use "I statements" to calmly tell the person how you feel.
2 Walk Away
Remove yourself from negative situations. You don't have to participate.
3 Tell an Adult
If it's serious or unsafe, find a teacher or counselor. It's not tattling!
4 Support Others
Be a friend to the person being targeted. Standing together puts out the fire.
Work Together!
1. Read the scenario on your worksheet.
2. Identify the "Fire" (Relational Aggression).
3. Choose your "Firefighter" strategies!
Be ready to share your solutions!
You Are a
Friendship Firefighter!
Identify
Notice the fires of gossip & exclusion.
Respond
Use your strategies to help.
Create
Build a supportive school for everyone.
Thanks for keeping our school safe!
Friendship Fires Teacher Script Teacher Script
Friendship Fires: Put Them Out!
0-5 MIN
Part 1: The "Friendship Fire" Concept
"Good morning/afternoon, everyone! Today we're going to talk about something super important for our school community: 'Friendship Fires.' When you hear that phrase, 'Friendship Fires,' what comes to mind? What do you think that means? Don't be shy, just shout out your ideas!"
[ Allow students to share ideas. Guide them toward conflict, arguments, or tension. ]
"Great ideas! You're on the right track. Friendship fires are those moments when things get a little heated or uncomfortable in our friendships. They're not always big, explosive arguments, but they can still cause damage."
"Today, we're going to learn about a specific type of 'friendship fire' called relational aggression, and most importantly, we're going to learn how to put them out!"
5-10 MIN
Part 2: Understanding Through Video
"To help us understand relational aggression even better, we're going to watch a short video. This video will give you some more insights and examples of what it looks like and how it affects people. Please watch carefully and think about what you learn."
[ Play Slide 3 Video ]
"What were some of the key things you noticed or learned from the video? Did anything surprise you?"
[ Allow for a few student responses. ]
10-15 MIN
Part 3: Identifying the Embers
"Now that we've seen a bit about relational aggression, let's dive into some specific examples. Remember, it might not leave a physical bruise, but it can still hurt a lot inside. We're going to look at three common scenarios. As we do, think about how these actions make someone feel."
Scenario 1 (Gossip): "This is about spreading rumors or talking behind someone's back. How do you think hearing whispers like that makes someone feel?"
Scenario 2 (Exclusion): "This is when someone intentionally leaves another person out. 'You can't sit with us.' Why do you think being left out feels so hard?"
Scenario 3 (The Ultimatum): "This is about controlling who someone can be friends with. 'If you hang out with them, I won't be your friend.' What kind of pressure does this create?"
15-30 MIN
Part 4: Being a Friendship Firefighter
"Now for the best part: learning how to put the fires out! We all have the power to be a 'Friendship Firefighter.' We have four key strategies: Direct Communication, Walking Away, Telling an Adult, and Supporting Others."
"Now it's your turn to practice. In your groups, look at the worksheet. Discuss: What kind of fire is this? And how would YOU put it out using these strategies? Be ready to share with the class!"
Friendship Firefighter Activity Friendship Firefighters
Putting Out the Flames of Relational Aggression
Name: __________________________
Date: ___________________________
Instructions
Read each scenario with your group. Work together to identify the type of "friendship fire" (Relational Aggression) occurring and decide how a Friendship Firefighter would respond using our 4 strategies: 1) Direct Talk, 2) Walk Away, 3) Tell an Adult, or 4) Support Others.
1
The Group Chat Freeze-Out
Maria, Jessica, and Emily are usually a close trio. Recently, Maria and Emily started a new group chat where they plan all their after-school activities, but they haven't invited Jessica. Jessica sees them laughing and whispering about plans she's not part of. She feels left out and confused.
What kind of relational aggression is this?
What would you do to put out this fire? (Identify your strategies)
2
The Locker Room Rumor
During P.E., you overhear some classmates spreading a rumor that David cheated on the last science test. They are saying things like, "I heard he copied everything, no wonder he got a good grade." David is a good student, and you know he studied hard. He seems upset and quiet the rest of the day.
What kind of relational aggression is this?
What would you do to put out this fire? (Identify your strategies)
3
The Best Friend Ultimatum
Chloe and Liam have been best friends since kindergarten. Lately, a new student, Sam, joined their class and Chloe started spending time with Sam too. Liam told Chloe, "If you keep hanging out with Sam, I'm not going to be your friend anymore. You have to choose."
What kind of relational aggression is this?
What would you do to put out this fire? (Identify your strategies)
4
The Silent Treatment at Lunch
Sarah accidentally spilled juice on Mia's new jacket at lunch. Sarah apologized immediately and offered to help clean it. Mia, however, just turned away, didn't say anything, and then spent the rest of lunch ignoring Sarah completely, even when Sarah tried to talk to her again. Now her other friends are also starting to ignore Sarah.
What kind of relational aggression is this?
What would you do to put out this fire? (Identify your strategies)
Remember: Every firefighter has a crew. If you can't put out the fire alone, find a trusted adult to help.
Friendship Firefighter Answer Key Answer Key
Friendship Firefighters Scenarios
Teacher Resource
Note: Students may identify multiple strategies. These answers provide the primary type of relational aggression and the most effective "Firefighter" responses.
Scenario 1: The Group Chat Freeze-Out
Type: Exclusion / Social Isolation
Key Responses:
Direct Talk: Jessica could calmly ask Maria and Emily, "I felt left out when I wasn't invited to the chat. Is everything okay?"Support Others: If Maria or Emily realize their mistake, they should invite Jessica immediately and apologize.Tell an Adult: If this pattern continues and Jessica feels bullied, she should talk to a counselor.
Scenario 2: The Locker Room Rumor
Type: Gossip / Spreading Rumors
Key Responses:
Support Others: A classmate can say, "David is my friend and I saw how hard he studied. Let's not spread things that aren't true."Walk Away: Don't participate in the conversation. Change the subject or leave the room.Tell an Adult: If the rumor is damaging David's reputation or causing him deep distress, a teacher should be informed.
Scenario 3: The Best Friend Ultimatum
Type: Manipulation / Controlling Behavior
Key Responses:
Direct Talk: Chloe can say, "I value our friendship, but I don't think it's fair for you to tell me who I can be friends with. I want to be friends with both of you."Walk Away: If Liam refuses to listen and continues the threat, Chloe may need to give him space.Support Others: Chloe can ensure Sam feels welcome despite Liam's pressure.
Scenario 4: The Silent Treatment at Lunch
Type: Silent Treatment / Exclusion / Peer Pressure
Key Responses:
Direct Talk: Sarah can say, "Mia, I apologized for the juice and I'm happy to help clean it, but it hurts when you ignore me."Support Others: The other friends should NOT join in the ignoring. They can say to Mia, "Sarah apologized, let's just move on," and continue talking to Sarah.Tell an Adult: If Sarah is being frozen out by the whole group, this is relational bullying and requires adult intervention. 
