Bug and Wish Lesson Plan SEL Workshop • Grades 1–3
Bug and Wish Power Protocol
Duration 45–50 Minutes
Learning Targets
• Identify: Name specific micro-frustrations without name-calling or blaming.
• Assert: State a boundary using the "It bugs me when... / I wish you would..." formula.
• Respond: Listen respectfully and state an actionable agreement to peer feedback.
Materials Needed
• Workshop Slide Deck
CASEL: Relationship Skills
The 2-Step Communication Anchor Assertive Voice
STEP 1: The Bug (State the Action)
"It bugs me when [describe the exact behavior]."
Rule: Describe the action, not the person. No name-calling.
STEP 2: The Wish (State the Solution)
"I wish you would [state clear, positive next step]."
Rule: Give an actionable choice the peer can do right now.
Instructional Timeline • Part 1
1
Hook: The Tiny Pebble in Your Shoe (10 Mins)
Slides 1–3
Invite students to imagine a tiny pebble in their shoe during recess. What happens if you ignore it? (It rubs, hurts worse, makes you grumpy!). What happens if you kick someone because your shoe hurts? (Unfair and hurts someone else!).
Teacher Script: "Little annoyances on the playground—like someone cutting in line or knocking down your block tower—are just like pebbles. We don't hide them until we explode, and we don't start a fight. We take them out using our Bug and Wish words!"
2
Direct Instruction: Three Voice Types (12 Mins)
Slides 4–7
💥 Aggressive (Tiger) Yelling, bossing, insults. Causes big drama and hurts feelings.
🤐 Passive (Mouse) Silent, walking away crying, holding anger inside shoe.
🌟 Assertive (Owl) Eye contact, calm voice, direct Bug & Wish sentence.
Model the contrast using a sample scenario: "Someone took your basketball before your shot was done." Have students demonstrate the body language for each voice type.
Bug and Wish Power • Assertive Communication Guide Page 1 of 2
Workshop Execution & Scaffolding
Phases 3–5 & Classroom Systems
3
Fishbowl Modeling & Partner Role-Play (15 Mins)
Scenario Cards
1. Invite two student volunteers to the circle center. Hand them Scenario Card A (swings dispute).Stop, look at peer's eyes, hands still, state Bug + Wish. Two Golden Responses :
Response A (Immediate Agree): "I didn't realize! I will wait my turn now."
Response B (Negotiate / Clarify): "I hear you. Can we take turns after 5 kicks?"
4
Independent Worksheet (8 Mins)
Students complete the Bug and Wish Builder Worksheet . They illustrate a real recess micro-frustration and write their specific formula sentence to build cognitive retention.
5
Recess Launch Routine (5 Mins)
Teach the physical anchor gesture: Place one hand open (Bug) and point up like a star (Wish). Pair up before playground line-up and test the secret protocol password!
Common Pitfalls & Quick Fixes
Trapping: "It bugs me that you're mean." Unrealistic Wish: "I wish you gave me all the balls." The Refusal: What if the peer laughs or says no?
Differentiation Strategies
Grade 1 / Emerging Writers: Provide icon-based sentence starters or allow drawing the bug action with verbal recitation to a peer buddy.Sensory / Emotional Freeze: Teach the "Take 3 turtle breaths" reset before speaking to prevent elevated aggressive outbursts.Grade 2–3 Extension: Role-play multi-step compromises when both students have a "Bug" at the exact same time (Mutual Wish).
Quick Playground Observation Rubric
🌱 Emerging Tells teacher immediately without attempting Bug & Wish words, or yells at peer.
🌿 Developing Uses the formula with teacher prompting or finger cue at the playground bench.
🌳 Mastered Autonomously stops peer, states Bug and Wish calmly, and negotiates fair play.
Bug and Wish Power • Assertive Communication Guide Page 2 of 2
Bug and Wish Workshop Slides Grades 1–3 Conflict Workshop
Bug and Wish
Power!
How to solve little playground bumps using your own calm, strong voice.
1
Name the Bug
2
Make a Wish
3
Play in Peace!
Think About This...
The Tiny Pebble in Your Sneaker
What happens if you ignore it?
It rubs your toe, it gets painful, and you get grumpier every step!
Playground annoyances work the same way!
Take it out right away!
When someone does something small that bothers you, don't hold it inside until you explode.
Use your Bug and Wish words!
Little problems stay little when we talk about them calmly.
How Do You Speak?
Three Playground Voices
Quiet Mouse
Stays silent. Walks away mad. The pebble stays in the shoe!
"Too Quiet"
Angry Tiger
Yells, pushes, or insults. Makes the problem twice as big!
"Too Mean"
Calm Owl
Looks in the eye, uses a calm voice, and speaks up clearly!
"Just Right!"
Today, we practice our Calm Owl voice!
STEP 1
Name the Bug!
The Sentence Starter
"It bugs me when ______."
DO THIS:
Name the exact action you saw.
"It bugs me when you take my pencil."
DON'T DO THIS:
Don't call names or attack.
"You're a mean thief!"
Golden Rule: Describe what happened, not who is bad!
STEP 2
Make a Wish!
The Sentence Starter
"I wish you would ______."
DO THIS:
Give a fair, friendly choice.
"I wish you would ask before borrowing."
DON'T DO THIS:
Don't make an impossible demand.
"I wish you never played here forever!"
Golden Rule: Tell your friend what they CAN do to make it right!
The Complete Formula
Put Both Parts Together!
Part 1
"It bugs me when you cut in front of me in line..."
Part 2
"...and I wish you would go to the back of the line."
Calm eyes + Polite voice = Super communication!
Being a Great Teammate
Recess Fixer Scenario Cards Partner Role-Play Mat
Recess Fixer Scenario Cards
Names:
How to Play with a Partner Take Turns (Speaker & Listener)
🗣️ Speaker Says:
"It bugs me when [action] . I wish you would [fair choice] ."
👂 Listener Answers:
"I hear you! I will [do the wish] so we can keep playing."
Card 1 Swings Zone
The Swing Hoverer
You are pumping high on the big swing. Another classmate stands right in front of your feet, counting to ten loudly to push you off before your turn is finished.
Practice Prompt: Ask them to stand behind the safety line and agree on a fair countdown.
Card 2 Blacktop
Instant Tagback
Your group made a rule before playing Freeze Tag: "No immediate tagbacks!" You tag your friend, and within one second they tag you right back and say you are frozen.
Practice Prompt: Remind them of the group rule without yelling, and ask for a fair re-run.
Card 3 Picnic Table
Whispering & Pointing
You sit down at the picnic table to eat your string cheese. Two classmates cover their mouths, whisper to each other, look right at your drawing, and laugh.
Practice Prompt: Name how whispering feels exclusion-like, and wish for open conversation.
Card 4 Play Structure
Slide Exit Blocker
You are ready to slide down the big tunnel slide, but someone is sitting right at the bottom exit tying their shoe and chatting, ignoring the kids waiting up top.
Practice Prompt: Explain the safety hazard clearly, and wish for a cleared landing zone.
Cut along dotted lines to use as station cards, or keep intact as a partner mat. Page 1 of 2
Scenario Cards 5–8 & Partner Tracker
Assertive Communication
Card 5 Water Fountain
Water Fountain Cut
Everyone just ran across the field and is super thirsty. You are next in line. A classmate slides under your arm and starts drinking ahead of you.
Practice Prompt: Name the action calmly, and wish for them to step to the end of the line.
Card 6 Indoor Recess
Marker Box Hoarder
During indoor rainy recess, you are coloring a poster. Your tablemate pulls all three green markers into their arms and refuses to share any of them.
Practice Prompt: Name the hoarding, and wish to share one marker while they use another.
Card 7 Soccer Field
The Solo Dribbler
Your soccer team is playing a fun scrimmage. One teammate keeps running the ball alone and yelled, "Don't touch it, I'm the only striker!"
Bug and Wish Builder Worksheet Bug and Wish Builder
My Assertive Recess Words
Name:
Date:
Remember the 2 Magic Parts 1. "It bugs me when..." + 2. "I wish you would..."
Calm Owl Voice 🦉
Part 1: Voice Detective
Read each statement. Circle the voice type: 🐭 Mouse (too quiet), 🐯 Tiger (too mean), or 🦉 Owl (calm & strong).
1. "Give me that ball right now or I'm never letting you play with us!"
🐭 Mouse 🐯 Tiger 🦉 Owl
2. You look down, say nothing, and sit alone on the bench feeling sad.
🐭 Mouse 🐯 Tiger 🦉 Owl
3. "It bugs me when you knock my blocks down. I wish you would build beside me."
🐭 Mouse 🐯 Tiger 🦉 Owl
Part 2: Practice Building the Formula
Look at the recess problem. Fill in the blank lines to build your calm Owl response.
Scenario A A friend stands directly in front of the slide ladder so you cannot climb up.
1. The Bug: "It bugs me when you
2. The Wish: "I wish you would
Scenario B Someone grabs the basketball you were dribbling without asking.
1. The Bug: "It bugs me when you
2. The Wish: "I wish you would
Bug and Wish Power • Student Guided Practice Page 1 of 2
Part 3: My Recess Problem Solver Comic
Draw & Write
Think of something that bugged you on the playground recently (or imagine one). Complete the three comic panels below!
1 Panel 1: The Bug (What happened?) Draw the action below
Write what bugged you: "It bugs me when
2 Panel 2: The Wish (What did you say?) Draw speech bubble & calm eyes
Write your fair wish: "I wish you would
3 Panel 3: The Fix (Playing in peace!) Draw you & your friend playing
What did your friend say back?
My Recess Peace Pledge
I promise to use my calm Owl voice, name the bug, and give a fair wish before getting angry!
My Signature
Bug and Wish Power • Student Guided Practice Page 2 of 2
