Sonar Scan Counselor Guide Sonar Scan Counselor Guide
Module 1: Mindfulness (Skill: Observe)
Session
01
MISSION OBJECTIVE
Introduce the concept of Mindfulness as a scientific observation tool. Teach the "Observe" skill using the metaphor of a sonar technician scanning the ocean floor for the Titanic .
HFA ADAPTATION
Use concrete metaphors (Sonar vs. Feelings).
Focus on the physical sensations of "pinging."
Avoid abstract "oneness" language.
THE HOOK
"Just like Robert Ballard used sonar to find the Titanic in 1985, we use our senses to find what's happening inside us."
SESSION PROTOCOL
1
Initial Ping (5-10 mins)
Briefly discuss the discovery of the Titanic. Why was it hard to find? (It was deep, dark, and silent). Introduce the idea that our emotions can be like objects on the dark ocean floor—we need "sonar" (our senses) to notice them without jumping in the water.
2
The Skill: Observe (15 mins)
Explain Observe : Wordless watching. Just notice the "ping" on the screen. Don't label it "good" or "bad" wreck yet.
Observe inside: Muscle tension, heartbeat, thoughts drifting.
Observe outside: Sounds in the room, the texture of the chair.
3
Activity: Sonar Scan (15 mins)
Guide the client through a 3-minute "Sensory Sonar." Have them close their eyes (if comfortable) and "ping" 3 sounds, 3 physical touches, and 3 internal sensations. Record findings on the Sonar Log Worksheet .
4
Debrief (5-10 mins)
Discuss: Did the "pings" change? Did you try to push any pings away? (Remind: A sonar tech doesn't delete the wreck from the screen, they just note its position).
Exploration Questions
"If you were a sonar tech, what would happen if you ignored a 'blip' just because you didn't like how it looked?"
"Does noticing a feeling mean you have to do something about it right away, or can you just let it be a blip on the screen?"
Sonar Scan Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 1: Sonar Scanning (The Observe Skill)
Confidential
Salvage Ops
WHAT WE ARE EXPLORING
This week, your child is learning the Observe skill. In DBT, observing means noticing an experience (a thought, a feeling, or a sensation) without trying to change it, judge it, or run away from it.
"We are training to be 'emotional sonar technicians'—noticing the blips on the radar before they become collisions."
WHY THIS HELPS YOUR CHILD
Children with high-functioning autism often experience "sensory flooding" or intense emotional spikes. By learning to Observe , they create a small space between the feeling and the reaction. It turns an overwhelming "I am angry!" into a neutral "I notice a hot feeling in my chest."
Your Support Mission
The "Ping" Prompt
If your child seems slightly agitated or very excited, ask: "What's on your sonar right now?" instead of "What's wrong?" This encourages them to look for internal physical sensations.
Narrate Your Own Sonar
Model the skill. Say out loud: "I notice the sound of the dishwasher running" or "I notice my shoulders feel a bit tight right now." No need to fix it—just note it.
Wait Before Fixing
If they observe a "negative" feeling (e.g., "I feel itchy"), resist the urge to immediately solve it. Respond with: "Good observation. You noticed the itch. That's a clear ping."
WEEKLY SALVAGE GOAL
Help your child identify three different 'pings' throughout the week. They don't have to be big—just noticing the wind on their face or the hum of the computer counts!
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Titanic Sonar Log Worksheet Mission Log: Sonar Scan
Site: Titanic Wreck
Week: 01
Lead Investigator:
Expedition Date:
THE OBSERVE PROTOCOL
Stay on the ship. Thoughts and feelings are just "pings" on the sonar screen. Notice them and let them float by.
1. Notice
2. Don't Judge
3. Let Go
Sensory Scan Recording
Record your findings below. Use the space to describe each "ping."
OUTSIDE THE SHIP (External Sounds, Sights, Smells)
Ping 1:
Ping 2:
INSIDE THE HULL (Heartbeat, Breathing, Muscles)
Ping 1:
Ping 2:
THE CARGO HOLD (Thoughts and Feelings floating by)
Ping 1:
Ping 2:
Ping 3:
RMS Titanic Recovery Mission - Sonar Unit-01
Black Box Wise Mind Counselor Guide Wise Mind Counselor Guide
Module 1: Mindfulness (Skill: Wise Mind)
Session
02
Mission Objective
Teach the concept of Wise Mind by analyzing the balance between the "Logical Cockpit" and the "Emotional Engine" of a massive airship like the Hindenburg . Help the client identify when they are operating in "Emotion Mind" vs "Reasonable Mind."
HFA Clinical Strategy
Use the "Technical Failure" metaphor to describe Emotion Mind overrides.
Emphasize that Wise Mind isn't "happy"—it's just accurate .
Provide a visual "gauge" for intensity levels.
"The Hindenburg was a marvel of logic, but a spark of emotion changed everything. To fly safely, we need both systems working together."
FLIGHT PROTOCOL
01
The Airship Analysis (10 mins)
Briefly recount the Hindenburg story. Discuss how the designers were very logical (Reasonable Mind), but the hydrogen was reactive (Emotion Mind). Introduce the three states of mind: Reasonable, Emotion, and Wise.
02
The Logical Cockpit (10 mins)
"Facts, numbers, rules, and logic."
Ask the client: What happens if a pilot *only* looks at the maps and ignores the fact that the crew is scared? (Answer: They might be efficient, but they might crash into a storm they didn't 'feel' coming).
03
The Emotional Engine (10 mins)
"Power, heat, sparks, and intensity."
Ask the client: What happens if the engine gets too hot and the pilot just ignores the heat gauge? (Answer: Explosion). Emotion Mind gives us energy but can cloud our vision.
04
Wise Mind: The Navigator (15 mins)
Wise Mind is the synthesis. It's knowing the facts *and* feeling the engine. Use the Black Box Worksheet to map out a recent 'flight' (event) where emotion mind took over.
Note: Some HFA clients struggle with "Wise Mind" because it feels subjective. Frame it as "The Most Accurate Data" or "Optimal Flight Path."
Black Box Wise Mind Parent Guide Mission Briefing: Wise Mind
Week 2: The Logic/Emotion Engine
Aviation Safety Bureau
Parent Division
Reasonable Mind
The Logical Cockpit
Wise Mind
The Navigator
Emotion Mind
The Engine Heat
This week, we are looking at Wise Mind . For a 12-year-old with HFA, "Wise Mind" can be described as the state where they are calm enough to use their logic, but aware enough to know they are having a feeling.
THE ANALOGY
"The Hindenburg was a masterpiece of engineering (Logic), but one spark (Emotion) caused a disaster because the systems weren't balanced. When your child is in 'Emotion Mind,' their engine is overheating. When they are in 'Reasonable Mind,' they are cold and rigid. Wise Mind is the safe flight path."
YOUR MISSION AT HOME
Check the Gauges
When your child is struggling to make a choice, ask: "Is your Logical Cockpit talking, or is your Emotion Engine doing the driving?" This externalizes the struggle.
Avoid the "Why" Trap
In Emotion Mind, the "why" doesn't matter yet—only the intensity does. Focus on acknowledging the "Heat" first. "I can see the engine is really hot right now. Let's find Wise Mind before we decide."
Model Wise Mind Decisions
Explain your own process: "I feel frustrated that we are late (Emotion), but I know driving faster won't help (Reason). My Wise Mind says we should just call and let them know."
Wise Mind = Optimal Operational Capacity
Black Box Wise Mind Worksheet The Wise Mind Black Box
Airship: Hindenburg
Week: 02
Chief Investigator:
Incident Time:
Reasonable Mind
"The Cockpit"
Facts, rules, math, and cold data. Efficient but lacks feeling.
Wise Mind
"The Navigator"
The balance point. Facts + Feelings. The safe path.
Emotion Mind
"The Engine"
Heat, intensity, impulses, and raw power. Reactive.
Black Box Incident Report
THE EVENT (What happened? The flight path):
Example: My brother touched my Lego ship without asking...
Reasonable Mind Thoughts:
"What are the cold, hard facts?"
Emotion Mind Feelings:
"What is the engine temperature?"
The Wise Mind Navigation Path:
"Considering the facts and the feelings, what is the best thing to do?"
Safety Certification 88-Z-9
Salvage & Recovery Protocol
Black Box Wise Mind Worksheet The Wise Mind Black Box
Airship: Hindenburg
Week: 02
Chief Investigator:
Incident Time:
Reasonable Mind
"The Cockpit"
Facts, rules, math, and data. Efficient but lacks feeling.
Wise Mind
"The Navigator"
The balance point. Facts + Feelings. The safe path.
Emotion Mind
"The Engine"
Heat, intensity, and raw power. Reactive.
Black Box Incident Report
THE EVENT (What happened?):
Write the facts here...
Reasonable Mind (The Facts):
Emotion Mind (The Feelings):
The Wise Mind Navigation Path:
Combining facts and feelings, what is the best thing to do next?
Safety Cert 88-Z-9
Salvage & Recovery Protocol
Flight Path Focus Counselor Guide Flight Path Focus Counselor Guide
Module 1: Mindfulness (Skill: One-Mindfully)
Session
03
Mission Objective
Teach the One-Mindfully skill using the "Miracle on the Hudson" (Flight 1549). Focus on how Captain Sully had to ignore non-essential alarms to focus on a single, life-saving task: the landing.
HFA ADAPTATION
Translate "presence" into "single-tasking."
Identify "noise" (sensory input) vs. "signal" (task).
Use "tunnel vision" as a positive clinical tool here.
"When the birds hit the engines, the cockpit was full of alarms. Sully chose one path and stayed on it."
FLIGHT DECK PROTOCOL
1
The 208-Second Flight (10 mins)
Tell the story of US Airways Flight 1549. Emphasize how many things were happening: bird strikes, engine failure, ATC radio calls, passenger panic. Sully had to "One-Mindfully" land the plane.
2
The One-Mindfully Skill (10 mins)
Define the skill: Doing one thing at a time with your whole attention. "One bird, one engine, one river." Contrast this with "scattered mind" (trying to do everything at once and failing).
3
Activity: The Hudson Landing (15 mins)
Give the client a complex task (e.g., building a small Lego part or sorting cards) while you provide "cockpit noise" (distracting talk, background music). Practice returning focus to the task every time a "bird strike" (distraction) occurs.
4
Flight Log Reflection (10 mins)
Use the Flight Path Focus Worksheet to identify personal "cockpit noise" and select a "Miracle Mission" for the week.
Exploration Questions
"What happens to your 'landing' when you try to listen to the ATC radio and the passenger screams at the same time?"
"What is one thing you do every day that deserves 'Pilot Focus'?"
Flight Path Focus Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 3: Single-Tasking (One-Mindfully)
Aviation Safety
Parent Division
THE MIRACLE MISSION
This week, your child is learning One-Mindfully . This means doing just one thing at a time with total focus. For kids with autism, multitasking can often lead to sensory overload or "engine failure."
"Captain Sully didn't worry about his lunch or his next flight while landing in the Hudson. He did one thing: he flew the plane."
WHY THIS HELPS YOUR CHILD
Executive function challenges often make it hard for kids to filter out distractions. "One-Mindfully" is a permission slip to stop trying to do everything at once. It reduces anxiety by narrowing the field of vision to a manageable, single task.
Home Support Mission
Silence the Alarms
When giving instructions, ensure "cockpit noise" is low. Turn off the TV, wait for the vacuum to stop, and make eye contact. Help them focus on your voice alone.
One Instruction at a Time
Instead of "Go upstairs, brush your teeth, and get your shoes," try: "Go upstairs." Once that's done, give the next "flight path."
Catch the Focus
When you see them deeply focused on a hobby, don't interrupt immediately. Narrate it later: "I saw you working on that plane model. You were very one-mindful!"
WEEKLY CO-PILOT GOAL
Choose one daily activity (like eating breakfast or washing hands) to do One-Mindfully as a family. No phones, no talking—just the task.
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Flight Path Focus Worksheet Pilot Log: One-Mindfully
Mission: Hudson Landing
Week: 03
Pilot in Command:
Flight Date:
FLIGHT PATH FOCUS
"When Captain Sully's engines failed, he didn't check his email. He didn't worry about tomorrow. He did ONE thing: He flew the plane."
The Skill:
Put your whole attention on ONE thing at a time. When distractions (birds) hit, gently bring your focus back to your flight path.
Cockpit Noise Check
What are the distractions ("Birds") that pull your focus away from what you are doing?
External Birds (Outside Noise)
Examples: Loud TV, vacuum, siblings, bright lights.
Internal Birds (Inside Noise)
Examples: Worries, daydreaming, itching, hunger.
My Miracle Mission
Choose one task to do "One-Mindfully" this week. No co-pilots, no distractions!
The One Task:
My focus plan (How I will stay on path):
Operational Readiness Code: HUDSON-1549
Salvage Site Describe Counselor Guide Salvage Site Describe Counselor Guide
Module 1: Mindfulness (Skill: Describe)
Session
04
Mission Objective
Teach the Describe skill using the archaeology of the Mary Rose (Henry VIII's flagship). Help the client distinguish between "Clean Data" (facts found in the silt) and "The Story" (interpretations and judgments).
HFA ADAPTATION
Leverage the autism-typical preference for precision and facts.
Treat "feelings" as facts (e.g., "The fact is I feel sad" vs "I am a loser").
Use "Silt Removal" as a metaphor for removing judgments.
"An archaeologist finds a broken plate. They don't say 'The cook was clumsy.' They say 'There is a ceramic shard with a blue pattern.'"
ARCHAEOLOGICAL PROTOCOL
1
The Mary Rose Recovery (10 mins)
Explain the Mary Rose: 400 years under the silt. When they raised it, they found 19,000 artifacts. Scientists had to describe them exactly as they were to understand the truth.
2
The Skill: Describe (10 mins)
Define the skill: Putting words on an experience. Labeling it. "Facts Only. No Judgments. No Adjectives that aren't physical." Example: "The ball is red" (Describe) vs "The ball is stupid" (Judgment).
3
Activity: The Artifact Bag (15 mins)
Place an object in a bag (e.g., a crumpled paper, a toy). Have the client reach in and Describe it without seeing it, using only tactile facts. Then have them describe a "difficult thought" as if it were an artifact.
4
Data Entry (10 mins)
Complete the Salvage Site Describe Worksheet . Practice turning judgmental "stories" into "clean data."
Exploration Questions
"If you say 'This homework is a nightmare,' is that clean data or a story?"
"How does it feel to say 'I notice I am having the thought that I can't do this' instead of 'I can't do this'?"
Salvage Site Describe Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 4: Facts vs. Interpretations (Describe)
Archaeological Bureau
Parent Division
CLEAN DATA ONLY
This week, your child is learning to Describe . In DBT, this means labeling facts without adding judgments (like "bad," "stupid," or "unfair"). We call this "Clean Data."
"An archaeologist doesn't find an 'ugly' coin. They find a 'copper coin with a worn face.' Facts keep us calm; judgments fuel the fire."
Why this helps your child
Children with autism often have "all-or-nothing" thinking. A small mistake becomes a "disaster." The Describe skill helps them de-escalate by stripping away the emotional labels and focusing on the physical reality. It turns a "terrible day" into "a day where I missed one bus and forgot my lunch."
Parent Support Mission
Filter the Judgments
When your child uses judgmental words ("This is impossible!"), gently ask: "What is the clean data? What are the facts?"
Describe, Don't Evaluate
Model the skill. Instead of "You're being so helpful," try describing what they did: "I see you've put all the blue Legos in the blue bin. That is the fact."
"I notice..."
Start sentences with "I notice..." to keep things factual. "I notice your voice is getting louder" is much more effective than "Stop yelling!"
ARCHAEOLOGIST'S CHALLENGE
Practice describing a meal this week using ONLY clean data (colors, temperatures, textures). No "yummy" or "gross" allowed!
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Salvage Site Describe Worksheet Site Log: The Mary Rose
Sector: Describe Skill
Week: 04
Head Archaeologist:
Excavation Date:
Silt Removal: Describe
When we find an artifact, it's covered in sticky mud (judgments). To see the truth, we have to wash away the mud and just look at the facts. Describe = Clean Data.
Data Scrubbing Station
Wash away the "Mud" (judgments) and write the "Clean Data" (facts) for each situation.
The Story (Mud)
"This game is impossible and I'm a loser for failing."
Clean Data (Facts)
The Story (Mud)
"My mom is being mean because she won't let me go."
Clean Data (Facts)
The Story (Mud)
"This classroom is way too loud and annoying."
Clean Data (Facts)
My Personal Artifact
Pick a difficult event from this week and describe it using ONLY clean data.
The Event (Just facts):
What mud (judgments) did I try to wash off?
ARTIFACT ID: MR-1545
DESCRIBE PROTOCOL ACTIVE
Iceberg Alert STOP Counselor Guide Iceberg Alert Counselor Guide
Module 2: Distress Tolerance (Skill: STOP)
Session
05
Mission Objective
Introduce the STOP skill to manage impulsivity and intense emotions. Use the Titanic iceberg collision as a metaphor: the iceberg is the emotion, and STOP is the emergency brake to prevent a disaster.
HFA ADAPTATION
Focus on the physical "Brake" mechanism.
Identify "Iceberg Warning" signs (sensory triggers).
Avoid abstract "patience"—use "mechanical pause" instead.
"The Titanic hit because they didn't see the iceberg until it was too late. We are putting a lookout on the bow."
EMERGENCY STOP PROTOCOL
1
The 11:40 PM Collision (10 mins)
Explain why the Titanic crashed: Speed + Late Warning + Impulse (turning too late). Discuss how our emotions can be like icebergs—mostly hidden under the surface until they sink our "day."
2
The Skill: STOP (10 mins)
Break down the acronym:
S top (Freeze!)T ake a step back (Detach)O bserve (Inside and out)P roceed mindfully (Act, don't react)
3
Activity: The Iceberg Lookout (15 mins)
Have the client stand. You call out different "Iceberg Warnings" (e.g., "Someone took your seat!", "The iPad died!"). The client must physically freeze and recite the STOP steps before "proceeding."
4
Damage Control (10 mins)
Complete the Iceberg Alert STOP Worksheet . Identify personal "icebergs" and create a "Bridge Protocol" for when they appear.
Exploration Questions
"What does your body do when it sees an iceberg (big emotion) coming?"
"If the Titanic had just stopped when they saw the first warning, what would have happened?"
Iceberg Alert STOP Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 5: The Emergency Brake (STOP Skill)
White Star Line
Parent Division
THE EMERGENCY BRAKE
This week, your child is learning the STOP skill. This is a distress tolerance tool used to prevent impulsive actions when emotions are high. We use the Titanic iceberg as our metaphor.
"When an emotion iceberg appears, we don't just keep steaming ahead. We STOP, take a breath, and evaluate the safe path."
Why this helps your child
Meltdowns often happen because the "engine" is moving too fast for the "brakes" to work. The STOP skill gives your child a specific, 4-step manual for what to do in that split second before an explosion. For a child with autism, having a physical "Freeze" command is often more effective than "Calm down."
Home Support Mission
The "Freeze" Game
Practice the "S" (Stop) at home when things are calm. Call out "STOP!" during a fun activity. See how fast they can freeze. This builds the muscle memory for when they are upset.
Encourage the "Step Back"
If you see an "iceberg" coming, remind them: "Take a step back." Literally stepping away from the situation helps break the sensory loop.
Observe Together
Once they've stopped, ask: "What are you observing inside?" Help them name the sensation (hot face, fast heart) rather than the judgment ("You're being mean").
LOOKOUT CHALLENGE
Can your child use the STOP skill one time this week before a small frustration becomes a big wreck? Celebrate the stop, even if the "proceeding" isn't perfect!
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Iceberg Alert STOP Worksheet Emergency Alert: STOP
Vessel: Titanic
Week: 05
Bridge Officer:
Alert Time:
S
STOP
Freeze! Don't move a muscle.
T
TAKE STEP
Back away from the iceberg.
O
OBSERVE
Look at the gauges inside.
P
PROCEED
Choose the safe path.
Iceberg Warning Signs
What are the "Icebergs" (situations) that sink your day? What does your "Ship" (body) feel like right before?
My Big Icebergs (Triggers):
1
2
Warning Gauges (How I feel right before):
Heart/Chest:
Hands/Body:
Brain/Thoughts:
Emergency Brake Plan
When the iceberg appears, how will you use the STOP skill?
My Proceed Mindfully Choice:
"Instead of crashing, I will..."
Lookout Report: Iceberg Ahead
SOS Signal DEAR MAN Counselor Guide SOS Signal Counselor Guide
Module 3: Interpersonal Effectiveness (Skill: DEAR MAN)
Session
06
Mission Objective
Teach the DEAR MAN skill for effective requests and boundary setting. Use the 1909 rescue of the RMS Republic —the first major rescue facilitated by the CQD (pre-SOS) wireless signal—as a metaphor for clear communication.
HFA ADAPTATION
Treat the acronym as a "Communication Script."
Emphasize "Clean Data" in the D (Describe) section.
Use "Signal Strength" as a metaphor for volume and tone.
"If the Republic's operator had just screamed 'Help!', no one would have known where to go. They needed the exact coordinates."
SIGNAL TRANSMISSION PROTOCOL
1
The First SOS (10 mins)
Tell the story of the RMS Republic collision. It was the first time "CQD" saved thousands. Discuss how communication is a "signal"—if it's fuzzy, no one can help you. If it's clear, the rescue ship arrives.
2
The DEAR MAN Script (15 mins)
Break down the wireless protocol:
D escribe (Just the facts)E xpress (How you feel)A ssert (Ask clearly)R einforce (The benefit)M indful (Stay focused)A ppear Confident (Signal strength)N egotiate (Find a middle path)
3
Activity: The Signal Tower (15 mins)
Role-play a request (e.g., asking for more iPad time). Have the client use the SOS Signal Worksheet to write the script first. Practice transmitting the signal with "Clear Audio" (even tone).
4
Signal Review (5 mins)
Discuss: Which part of the signal is the hardest to send? (Usually 'Express' or 'Negotiate').
Exploration Questions
"What happens to the 'rescue ship' (the other person) if your signal is full of judgments?"
"Why is it important to tell the other person *why* helping you is good for them too (Reinforce)?"
SOS Signal DEAR MAN Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 6: Sending Clear Signals (DEAR MAN)
Wireless Recovery
Parent Division
TRANSMITTING THE REQUEST
This week, your child is learning DEAR MAN . This is a script for asking for what they want or saying "no" effectively. We use the 1909 rescue of the RMS Republic as our metaphor.
"A distress signal only works if it's clear and detailed. 'DEAR MAN' is the wireless protocol for social success."
Why this helps your child
Children with autism often struggle with social nuances. They might demand things too aggressively or give up immediately when they meet resistance. DEAR MAN provides a logical, step-by-step structure that removes the guesswork from social interactions. It turns "convincing people" into a systematic process.
Home Support Mission
Honor the Signal
If your child uses DEAR MAN to ask for something—even if you have to say no—praise the quality of the signal. "That was a very clear DEAR MAN. I can't say yes today, but I appreciate how you asked."
Practice "Appear Confident"
Many HFA kids whisper or avoid eye contact. Practice "Signal Strength" (volume) together. "Let's try that request again with a volume of 4 out of 10."
The "Reinforce" Step
Help them see the "win-win." When they ask for something, prompt them: "And how does that help me as the co-pilot?" (e.g., "If I get iPad time now, I'll be calm during the grocery trip later").
WIRELESS CHALLENGE
Help your child write out a DEAR MAN signal for one specific request they want to make this week (e.g., a new game, a change in schedule). Help them "transmit" it to the right person.
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
SOS Signal DEAR MAN Worksheet Signal Log: DEAR MAN
Vessel: RMS Republic
Week: 06
Radio Operator:
Transmission Date:
WIRELESS REQUEST PROTOCOL
D
E
A
R
M
A
N
Signal Script Builder
DESCRIBE (Facts):
"I notice that..."
EXPRESS (Feelings):
"I feel..."
ASSERT (Ask):
"I would like..."
REINFORCE (Reward):
"It would help us because..."
M-A (Signal Integrity)
How will you keep the signal strong?
Stick to the topic (Broken Record)
Good posture & Volume level: _____
N (Negotiate)
If they say no, what's a middle path?
Transmitting... CQD... CQD... CLEAR DATA SENT
Diplomatic Cargo GIVE and FAST Counselor Guide Diplomatic Cargo Counselor Guide
Module 3: Interpersonal Effectiveness (Skills: GIVE & FAST)
Session
07
Mission Objective
Teach GIVE (Relationship Effectiveness) and FAST (Self-Respect Effectiveness). Use the deep-sea recovery of the Air France 447 black boxes—finding valuable data in the dark—as a metaphor for maintaining connection and self-respect.
HFA ADAPTATION
Distinguish between "External Data" (GIVE) and "Internal Code" (FAST).
Use "Diplomatic Protocols" to describe social niceties.
Treat self-respect as "Hull Integrity."
"Recovery crews spend millions to find the black box because the data is priceless. Your relationships and self-respect are your black boxes."
RECOVERY PROTOCOL
1
The 2-Year Search (10 mins)
Tell the story of AF447. They found the plane at 13,000 feet. Discuss how finding what matters in a conversation takes careful work. Sometimes we focus on the relationship (GIVE) and sometimes on our values (FAST).
2
GIVE: The Relationship Protocol (10 mins)
Break down GIVE (Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy manner). This is how we keep the "diplomatic cargo" safe while talking to others. "GIVE is the oil that keeps the gears from grinding."
3
FAST: The Hull Integrity (10 mins)
Break down FAST (Fair, No Apologies, Stick to values, Truthful). This is how we keep our own ship strong even in deep water. "FAST is the armor that protects your values."
4
Activity: Cargo Sorting (15 mins)
Use the Diplomatic Cargo Worksheet . Present scenarios (e.g., a friend asks to borrow your favorite model plane). Help the client decide: Is this a GIVE mission (keeping the friend) or a FAST mission (protecting your boundaries)?
Exploration Questions
"What happens to your 'ship' if you are always GIVE but never FAST?"
"Why is 'No Apologies' (in FAST) important for things that aren't your fault?"
Diplomatic Cargo GIVE and FAST Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 7: Relationships & Self-Respect (GIVE/FAST)
Diplomatic Recovery
Parent Division
THE VALUABLE DATA
This week, your child is learning GIVE and FAST . These skills help them balance two things: keeping a relationship (GIVE) and keeping their self-respect (FAST). We use the Air France 447 black box recovery as our metaphor.
"In deep water, you need to protect the cargo and the hull. GIVE protects the cargo (friendships); FAST protects the hull (values)."
Why this helps your child
Children with autism often find social interactions "all-or-nothing." They might apologize constantly to avoid conflict (losing self-respect) or be very blunt and upset others (losing relationships). These skills give them two distinct "operating modes" to choose from depending on the situation.
Home Support Mission
Practice the "Easy Manner"
HFA kids can sometimes be very intense. Practice an "Easy Manner" (the E in GIVE) by using humor or a relaxed posture during neutral conversations.
Stop the Over-Apologizing
If your child says "I'm sorry" for small things that aren't mistakes (the A in FAST), gently correct them. "You don't need to apologize for needing a break. That's a valid need."
Value Identification
Talk about what your family values are (the S in FAST). When they stick to a value (like honesty), point it out: "You used FAST by telling the truth even when it was hard."
DIPLOMATIC CHALLENGE
Pick one interaction this week where your child needs to use **FAST** (like saying no to a peer) and one where they need to use **GIVE** (like listening to a sibling's story).
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Diplomatic Cargo GIVE and FAST Worksheet Cargo Log: GIVE & FAST
Ops: AF447 Recovery
Week: 07
Recovery Expert:
Depth (m):
Protocol: GIVE
GOAL: KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP
G entle (No attacks)I nterested (Listen)V alidate (I hear you)E asy Manner (Relaxed)
Protocol: FAST
GOAL: KEEP SELF-RESPECT
F air (To both people)A pologies (None needed)S tick to Values (Truth)T ruthful (No lying)
Mission Sorting
Decide which protocol is most important for each "Cargo" (situation).
Your friend is sad and wants to talk about their cat.
GIVE
FAST
A peer wants you to break a school rule to be "cool."
GIVE
FAST
You need to tell your teacher you forgot your homework.
GIVE
FAST
My Personal Mission
What interaction do you have coming up? Which skill will you prioritize?
I will use:
BLACK BOX ID: AF447-RECOVERY
VALUES SECURED
Weather Balloon Facts Counselor Guide Weather Balloon Facts Counselor Guide
Module 4: Emotion Regulation (Skill: Check the Facts)
Session
08
Mission Objective
Teach the Check the Facts skill to help clients distinguish between emotional interpretations and objective reality. Use the 1947 Roswell "UFO" crash (actually a top-secret weather balloon) as a metaphor for how our brains create "alien" stories out of "balloon" facts.
HFA ADAPTATION
Appeal to the client's love for "debunking" or logic.
Focus on "Evidence-Based Thinking."
Categorize emotions as "Inaccurate Data Packets" if they don't fit the facts.
"People saw silver foil and rubber and thought 'Aliens!' Scientists saw silver foil and rubber and knew it was a balloon. Which one are you?"
INVESTIGATION PROTOCOL
1
The Roswell Mystery (10 mins)
Tell the story of the 1947 crash. Foil, sticks, and rubber found in a field. Discuss how our "Emotion Mind" takes a few facts and builds a huge "Alien Theory."
2
The Skill: Check the Facts (10 mins)
Break down the investigation steps:
What is the event? (The balloon)
What is my interpretation? (The UFO)
Am I assuming a threat? (The invasion)
What is the disaster? (The end of the world)
Does my emotion fit the facts?
3
Activity: The Debunker (15 mins)
Give the client a set of "Spooky Scenarios" (e.g., "A friend didn't text back"). Have them write the "Alien Theory" (They hate me!) and the "Weather Balloon Fact" (They are busy/phone is dead). Use the Weather Balloon Worksheet .
4
Evidence Review (10 mins)
Discuss: Why is the "Alien Theory" sometimes more exciting to believe than the "Weather Balloon"? (Because emotions feel powerful, even if they're wrong).
Exploration Questions
"If your brain says 'Everyone is staring at me,' how can you check the fact with your eyes?"
"Does having a strong feeling make that feeling a fact?"
Weather Balloon Facts Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 8: Debunking the Mystery (Check the Facts)
Bureau of Investigation
Parent Division
IS IT AN ALIEN OR A BALLOON?
This week, your child is learning Check the Facts . This skill helps them stop their mind from jumping to scary or upsetting conclusions. We use the Roswell "UFO" story (which was actually a weather balloon) as our metaphor.
"When our feelings are big, they tell us stories about 'aliens.' We need to look closer and find the 'weather balloon'—the simple, boring facts."
Why this helps your child
Many children with autism struggle with "Social Imagination"—they might assume a peer's laughter is "at them" (The Alien Theory) when it's actually about a joke they didn't hear (The Weather Balloon). By checking the facts, they can lower their anxiety by focusing on what they can see and hear, rather than what they fear.
Home Support Mission
Be the Investigator
When your child is upset by a "theory" (e.g., "The teacher hates me!"), ask: "Let's be scientists. What is the evidence? Did she say she hates you, or did she just say 'no' to the iPad?"
Separate Feeling from Fact
Acknowledge the feeling as a fact, but the theory as a guess. "It is a fact that you feel scared. It is a guess that the noise was a monster."
The "Camera" Test
Ask: "If a video camera was recording this, what would it see?" This helps them strip away the emotional layers and get back to the "balloon."
DEBUNKER CHALLENGE
Identify one "Alien Theory" your child has this week (e.g., a worry or a judgment) and help them find at least two "Weather Balloon Facts" that explain it differently.
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Weather Balloon Facts Worksheet Case File: The Roswell Incident
Ops: Check the Facts
Week: 08
Lead Investigator:
Investigation Date:
ALIEN THEORY VS. BALLOON FACT
"When we are upset, our brain sees 'silver foil' and screams 'ALIENS!' We have to stop and see if it's just a 'WEATHER BALLOON.'"
Alien Theory
My interpretations, guesses, and scary assumptions.
Weather Balloon
The cold, hard facts that everyone can see.
Evidence Debunking Grid
The Artifact (Event)
A friend looks at me and whispers to someone else.
Alien Theory (Assumption)
"They are making fun of my shirt."
Balloon Fact (Reality)
The Artifact (Event)
The teacher sighs while looking at my paper.
Alien Theory (Assumption)
"I'm failing and she's mad at me."
Balloon Fact (Reality)
My Personal Investigation
My current "Alien Theory":
The "Weather Balloon" Facts:
CASE ID: ROSWELL-1947-FACTS
EVIDENCE SECURED
Hard Left Turn Opposite Action Counselor Guide Hard Left Turn Counselor Guide
Module 4: Emotion Regulation (Skill: Opposite Action)
Session
09
Mission Objective
Teach the Opposite Action skill to change intense, unwanted emotions. Use the survival story of the USS Indianapolis —where survivors had to fight the "Impulse" to give up or act on hallucinations—as a metaphor for doing the opposite of what a "sinking" feeling tells you to do.
HFA ADAPTATION
Frame Opposite Action as a "Manual Override."
Focus on the physical action (e.g., opening hands when angry).
Treat the "Emotional Impulse" as a faulty GPS.
"When the sharks are circling, your brain says 'Panic!' Survival says 'Stay calm and stay together.' Opposite Action is the hard left turn away from the sharks."
SURVIVAL OVERRIDE PROTOCOL
1
The Survival of the Indianapolis (10 mins)
Tell the story of the 1945 sinking. 900 men in the water for 5 days. Discuss how those who survived had to ignore the "impulses" of fear and exhaustion to keep their heads above water.
2
The Skill: Opposite Action (10 mins)
Explain: When your emotion is NOT helping (or doesn't fit the facts), do the exact opposite of what the emotion tells you to do.
Anger -> Gently avoid or be kind.
Sadness -> Get active.
Fear -> Approach the thing you fear.
3
Activity: The Manual Override (15 mins)
Practice "Opposite Body Language." If the client feels "Grumpy," have them practice "Half-Smiling" and "Willing Hands" (open palms). Use the Hard Left Turn Worksheet to map out overrides for common "sinking" feelings.
4
Heading Home (5 mins)
Identify one "Shark" (difficult emotion) the client expects this week and plan the "Hard Left Turn" (opposite action).
Exploration Questions
"Why does doing the opposite of a feeling actually make the feeling go away faster?"
"Can you think of a time when following your 'impulse' made a situation worse?"
Hard Left Turn Opposite Action Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 9: The Manual Override (Opposite Action)
Naval Command
Parent Division
OVERRIDING THE SYSTEM
This week, your child is learning Opposite Action . This skill is used when an emotion doesn't fit the facts or isn't helpful. We use the survival of the USS Indianapolis crew as our metaphor.
"When your emotion says 'Go right!' into the danger, Opposite Action is the hard left turn that saves the ship."
Why this helps your child
Children with autism often feel emotions very intensely. These emotions come with strong "impulses" (e.g., Anger -> Yelling/Hitting; Sadness -> Hiding). Opposite Action teaches them that they don't have to be a slave to their impulses. They can "Override" the system by doing the opposite physical action, which eventually changes the feeling itself.
Home Support Mission
Willing Hands
When your child is getting angry/rigid, prompt them to use "Willing Hands" (resting hands with palms up). This physical "Opposite" makes it harder for the brain to stay in "Attack" mode.
The Half-Smile
Practice a "Half-Smile" (a very slight upturn of the corners of the mouth) during frustrating moments. It’s a biological "Hard Left Turn" that signals the nervous system to calm down.
Name the Impulse
Help them identify the "False Signal." "I can see your Anger is telling you to throw that book. What's the Opposite Action we can do right now?"
SURVIVOR CHALLENGE
Catch your child using a "Manual Override" (doing something helpful even when they're upset) and celebrate it. "You were really frustrated, but you used a quiet voice anyway. That was a perfect Hard Left Turn!"
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Hard Left Turn Opposite Action Worksheet Survivor Log: Hard Left Turn
Ship: USS Indianapolis
Week: 09
Survivor Name:
Rescue Date:
THE MANUAL OVERRIDE
"When the emotion impulse is a SHARK (dangerous and unhelpful), take a HARD LEFT TURN and do the opposite."
Identify
The unhelpful emotion.
Notice
The unhelpful impulse.
Act
Do the Opposite!
Emotional Override Table
Map out your "Hard Left Turns" for these common sharks.
The Shark (Emotion)
ANGER
Impulse (Old Path)
Yell, hit, or be mean.
Opposite Action (Left Turn)
The Shark (Emotion)
SADNESS
Impulse (Old Path)
Hide, give up, stay in bed.
Opposite Action (Left Turn)
My Current Override Mission
A situation where I often follow a "Shark" impulse:
My Hard Left Turn (Opposite Action):
SURVIVOR ID: INDY-1945
MANUAL OVERRIDE ACTIVE
Maintenance Checklist ABC PLEASE Counselor Guide Maintenance Checklist Counselor Guide
Module 4: Emotion Regulation (Skill: ABC PLEASE)
Session
10
Mission Objective
Teach the ABC PLEASE skill to reduce emotional vulnerability and build a "life worth living." Use the rigorous maintenance checklists of the Concorde supersonic fleet as a metaphor for keeping the emotional "airframe" strong and preventing catastrophic failures.
HFA ADAPTATION
Appeal to the love of "Checklists" and "Systems."
Treat self-care as "Preventative Maintenance."
Link physical sensations (hunger/tiredness) directly to "System Glitches."
"A Concorde doesn't fly if one bolt is loose. You don't 'fly' right if your sleep or food is missing. Check the list."
PRE-FLIGHT CHECKLIST
1
The Mach 2 Fleet (10 mins)
Explain the Concorde: The fastest passenger plane ever. Because it flew so fast, it needed the most careful maintenance. Discuss how our emotions move fast too—if we don't maintain our "engines," we crash.
2
The PLEASE Skill (10 mins)
Focus on the physical maintenance first:
P hysical L ickness (Treat illness)E ating balanced mealsA void mood-altering substancesS leep (Amount & Quality)E xercise
3
The ABC Skill (10 mins)
Focus on the "Emotional Fuel":
A ccumulate Positive EmotionsB uild Mastery (Do things you're good at)C ope Ahead (Plan for the storm)
4
Inspection Day (15 mins)
Complete the Maintenance Checklist Worksheet . Identify which part of the client's "airframe" is most vulnerable right now and create a repair plan.
Exploration Questions
"What is the first thing that fails on your 'ship' when you haven't had enough sleep?"
"Why is 'Building Mastery' (doing things you're good at) like adding extra armor to your ship?"
Maintenance Checklist ABC PLEASE Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 10: Preventative Maintenance (ABC PLEASE)
Aeronautical Maintenance
Parent Division
THE PRE-FLIGHT CHECK
This week, your child is learning ABC PLEASE . These are habits that reduce "emotional vulnerability"—making it less likely that they will have a meltdown. We use the supersonic Concorde maintenance as our metaphor.
"A plane that isn't maintained is a plane that crashes. ABC PLEASE is the checklist that keeps your child in the air."
Why this helps your child
For children with autism, physical states (like being hungry, tired, or slightly sick) often lead to a drastic decrease in their ability to use other DBT skills. They become "vulnerable." By systematizing self-care into a "Maintenance Checklist," we help them see that eating and sleeping are not just chores—they are essential flight safety protocols.
Home Support Mission
Fuel Regularity
The "E" in PLEASE is Eating. Ensure your child has regular "refueling" stops throughout the day. A drop in blood sugar can cause an engine flameout!
The Sleep Hangar
The "S" in PLEASE is Sleep. Help them create a consistent "hangar routine" to power down their systems at night. Low sleep = high vulnerability.
Build Mastery
The "B" in ABC is Building Mastery. Encourage them to spend time on things they are *great* at (like their shipwreck/plane interests). This builds the "hull strength" of their self-esteem.
CHIEF ENGINEER CHALLENGE
Pick one part of the **PLEASE** checklist (like sleep or water intake) and track it for one week with your child. Use the "Maintenance Log" to see how it affects their "Flight Path" (mood).
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Maintenance Checklist ABC PLEASE Worksheet Maintenance Log: ABC PLEASE
Fleet: Concorde G-BOAC
Week: 10
Chief Engineer:
Inspection Date:
PRE-FLIGHT READINESS
"If the engine is empty or the wings are loose, you can't fly Mach 2. Check your systems to reduce VULNERABILITY ."
PLEASE (Physical)
Keeping the machine running.
ABC (Emotional)
Filling the fuel tank with good things.
Vulnerability Inspection
S
Sleep (Hangar Time)
Did I get 8-10 hours of system shutdown?
E
Eating (Refueling)
Did I have 3 balanced fuel stops today?
B
Build Mastery (Engine Test)
Did I do something I am GOOD at today?
My Weekly Maintenance Goal
Part to Repair / System to Strengthen:
"To stay at Mach 2, I need to make sure I..."
MAINTENANCE CODE: CONCORDE-ABC
AIRWORTHY STATUS: CONFIRMED
Pressure Chamber TIPP Counselor Guide Pressure Chamber Counselor Guide
Module 2: Distress Tolerance (Skill: TIPP)
Session
11
Mission Objective
Teach the TIPP skill for immediate physiological de-escalation during high-intensity distress. Use the deep-sea pressure metaphors of the USS Thresher (the first nuclear sub lost) to explain how to release internal "pressure" before the "hull" fails.
HFA ADAPTATION
Focus on the "Mammalian Dive Reflex" as a biological "Cheat Code."
Treat high intensity as "System Overheating."
Identify specific sensory tools (ice packs, weighted blankets).
"When the pressure outside is too high, the hull starts to groan. TIPP is the emergency valve that releases the pressure instantly."
DEPTH CONTROL PROTOCOL
1
The USS Thresher (10 mins)
Briefly discuss the 1963 disaster. A tiny leak led to huge pressure. Discuss how our emotions can reach "Crush Depth"—where we feel like our brains will explode. TIPP is what we do at the deepest, scariest point.
2
The Skill: TIPP (15 mins)
Explain the "Emergency Valves":
T emperature (Ice/Cold Water) - The Diver Reflex.I ntense Exercise (Run in place).P aced Breathing (Square breathing).P aired Muscle Relaxation (Squeeze and release).
3
Activity: The Ice Test (15 mins)
Have the client hold a very cold ice pack to their eyes/cheeks for 30 seconds while bending forward. Note: Check for health conditions first. Discuss the immediate drop in heart rate. Use the Pressure Chamber Worksheet .
4
Surface Mission (5 mins)
Identify where the client will keep an "Emergency TIPP Kit" (e.g., ice packs in the freezer, a specific heavy pillow).
Exploration Questions
"Why is it easier to change your body temperature than to change your thoughts when you're at 'Crush Depth'?"
"Which of the 4 TIPP tools feels like the fastest 'Valve' for you?"
Pressure Chamber TIPP Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 11: Releasing the Pressure (TIPP Skill)
Submarine Command
Parent Division
AVOIDING CRUSH DEPTH
This week, your child is learning TIPP . This is a physiological "Emergency Valve" used only when distress is at a 9 or 10 out of 10. We use the deep-sea pressure of the USS Thresher as our metaphor.
"When the emotional pressure is high enough to crush the hull, we don't use words—we use biology to surface the ship."
Why this helps your child
During a full meltdown, the "thinking brain" (Reasonable Mind) is completely offline. Verbal reasoning ("Just breathe," "Calm down") usually makes things worse. TIPP uses body temperature and muscle intensity to force the nervous system into a "Cool Down" phase. It is a physical override for a physical state.
Home Support Mission
The Ice Hack
The "T" in TIPP is Temperature. Keep a gel ice pack in the freezer. If a meltdown starts, hand it to them. Placing ice on the eyes/cheeks for 30 seconds triggers a biological "slow down" in the heart.
Paced Breathing (Hull Ventilation)
Help them practice "out-breaths" that are longer than "in-breaths." This vents the "toxic gases" (carbon dioxide) and signals safety to the brain.
Paired Relaxation
Have them squeeze their fists as hard as they can for 5 seconds, then "Let go of the pressure." This teaches them the physical difference between a stressed hull and a safe one.
EMERGENCY VALVE CHECK
Create a "Pressure Relief Kit" together. What's in it? An ice pack, a jumping rope, and a breathing card. Keep it in a designated "Escape Pod" area in your house.
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Pressure Chamber TIPP Worksheet Emergency Valve Log: TIPP
Vessel: USS Thresher
Week: 11
Sub Commander:
Alert Level (1-10):
CRUSH DEPTH ALERT
"When the pressure outside (situations) and inside (feelings) is too high, the hull starts to fail. TIPP is the emergency surfacing protocol."
T
I
P
P
The 4 Emergency Valves
T
Temperature (The Diver Reflex)
Splash face with ice cold water. Hold for 30 seconds.
I
Intense Exercise
Run, jump, or squeeze as hard as you can for 60 seconds.
P
Paced Breathing
Breath in for 4, out for 6. Slow the engine down.
My Pressure Relief Kit
Where will you keep your TIPP tools? What tools work best for you?
My Storage Location:
My #1 Valve Tool:
VALVE ID: THRESHER-TIPP-01
PRESSURE STABILIZED
Emergency Landing Gear Self Soothe Counselor Guide Emergency Landing Gear Counselor Guide
Module 2: Distress Tolerance (Skill: Self-Soothe)
Session
12
Mission Objective
Teach the Self-Soothe skill using the 5 senses. Use the survival of Aloha Flight 243 —where the roof of the plane tore off mid-flight—as a metaphor. Even when the "roof" is gone and the environment is chaotic, pilots and passengers had to find ways to stay calm to survive the landing.
HFA ADAPTATION
Identify "Sensory Anchors" (highly preferred textures or smells).
Distinguish between "Overloading" sensory and "Soothe" sensory.
Treat self-soothing as a "Biological Stabilizer."
"When the roof blew off Flight 243, it was loud, cold, and terrifying. The crew had to focus on small, comforting actions to keep control."
CABIN STABILIZATION PROTOCOL
1
The Convertible Flight (10 mins)
Tell the story of the 1988 Aloha 243 incident. A massive hole opened in the fuselage. Discuss how "exposure" to scary things makes our "fuselage" feel broken. Self-soothing is how we protect ourselves when the roof is gone.
2
The Skill: Self-Soothe with 5 Senses (10 mins)
Explain: Comforting yourself using your senses.
Sight: Looking at shipwreck photos or a calm sky.Sound: Ocean waves or quiet hums.Touch: A weighted blanket or a smooth stone.Smell/Taste: A specific mint or a favorite hoodie.
3
Activity: Sensory Salvage (15 mins)
Create a "Sensory Map" on the Emergency Landing Worksheet . Have the client test different sensory items (e.g., a piece of velvet, a scented sachet, a high-quality photo). Which one "lowers the cabin noise" best?
4
Pre-Flight Comfort (5 mins)
Identify one "Soothe Tool" the client can carry in their pocket (The "Survival Kit").
Exploration Questions
"If you are in a loud, bright classroom, what's a 'Self-Soothe' tool you can use without anyone even knowing?"
"Why does a soft texture or a nice smell help our 'Emotional Roof' feel stronger?"
Emergency Landing Gear Self Soothe Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 12: Sensory Anchors (Self-Soothe)
Aviation Survival
Parent Division
WHEN THE ROOF IS GONE
This week, your child is learning Self-Soothe . This skill uses the 5 senses to calm the nervous system when things feel chaotic. We use the incredible story of Aloha Flight 243 (which landed safely after losing its roof) as our metaphor.
"Even when the world is loud and scary, we can find small sensory anchors that help us fly the plane home."
Why this helps your child
For children with autism, sensory input is often the *source* of distress. This skill turns that around by helping them find "positive" sensory input that *cancels out* the distress. It empowers them to proactively manage their environment using tools they can carry with them (fidgets, specific scents, or visual interests).
Home Support Mission
The Visual Rescue
Help them find a "Safe Image" (a photo of a favorite wreck, a space nebula, etc.). When they are upset, prompt them to look at it for 60 seconds to "re-anchor" their vision.
Tactile Stabilization
Identify textures that calm them (smooth metal, soft fur, heavy pressure). Make sure these tools are accessible in the "Survival Kit" we started last week.
The Quiet Cabin
Noise-canceling headphones are a great "Self-Soothe" sound tool. They don't just block noise—they create a "Quiet Cabin" where the child can feel safe again.
SENSORY ANCHOR CHALLENGE
Find one "Pocket Soother" (a small item they can keep in their pocket) this week. Practice "deploying" it during a routine but mildly stressful event like standing in a line or waiting for a turn.
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Emergency Landing Gear Self Soothe Worksheet Stabilization Log: Self-Soothe
Flight: Aloha 243
Week: 12
Lead Pilot:
Cabin Status:
THE OPEN CABIN
"When the roof is gone, everything is loud and scary. Self-Soothe is finding the small things that anchor you so you can land safely."
My Sensory Salvage Map
Identify one thing for each sense that helps you feel "anchored."
Sight (Calm Visuals)
Sound (Quiet Hums)
Touch (Textures/Pressure)
Smell / Taste
My #1 Rescue Sense
Which sense works FASTEST to bring your stress down?
SOOTHE ID: ALOHA-243-SENSORY
CABIN SECURE
Radar Jamming Distract and ACCES Counselor Guide Radar Jamming Counselor Guide
Module 2: Distress Tolerance (Skill: Distract with ACCÈS)
Session
13
Mission Objective
Teach the Distract skill (using the ACCÈS/ACCEPTS acronym) to manage intense emotional pain that cannot be immediately solved. Use the mystery of Flight 19 —where pilots got lost because their compasses and "internal radar" failed—as a metaphor. When your emotional radar is "jammed," you need to switch to a different frequency (Distraction) until the signal clears.
HFA ADAPTATION
Frame distraction as "Changing the Channel."
Leverage special interests (e.g., sorting plane data) as high-value distractions.
Treat "Thinking about others" (C in ACCÈS) as a "Mission to help a different vessel."
"Flight 19's radar was jammed and their compasses spun. When your mind is spinning, you have to 'Jam' the signal with something else to stop the panic."
SIGNAL JAMMING PROTOCOL
1
The Mystery of Flight 19 (10 mins)
Tell the story of the 1945 Bermuda Triangle mission. 5 planes vanished because they followed a "broken signal." Discuss how our emotions can give us "broken signals." We need a new frequency to follow.
2
The Skill: ACCÈS / ACCEPTS (15 mins)
Break down the distraction frequencies:
A ctivities (Lego, drawing, sorting).C ontributing (Helping someone else).C omparisons (Thinking of others in worse spots).È motions (Watch a funny/sad video to change mood).S ensations (Cold water, loud music).
3
Activity: Channel Surfing (15 mins)
Create a "Distraction Menu" on the Radar Jamming Worksheet . Have the client test 3 short distractions in session (e.g., a 1-minute logic puzzle, a 30-second funny clip, and a sorting task). Which one "jams" the distress signal best?
4
Base Check-in (5 mins)
Identify the "Top 3 Channels" the client will use when their "Internal Compass" starts spinning this week.
Exploration Questions
"Is distracting yourself the same as 'ignoring' a problem forever, or is it just waiting for the signal to clear?"
"Which 'Distraction Frequency' is the hardest for you to tune into?"
Radar Jamming Distract and ACCES Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 13: Changing the Channel (Distract Skill)
Signal Recovery
Parent Division
JAMMING THE SIGNAL
This week, your child is learning Distraction (using the ACCÈS/ACCEPTS acronym). This is for moments when they are too upset to solve a problem and just need to wait for their brain to calm down. We use the Flight 19 mystery (lost radar/compasses) as our metaphor.
"When your emotional radar is 'jammed' with static, you have to switch to a different channel until the signal clears up."
Why this helps your child
Children with autism often "ruminate"—they get stuck on a thought or a feeling and can't let it go. This is like a "broken compass" spinning in circles. Distraction isn't "running away"; it's a strategic move to break the loop by engaging a different part of the brain. It's a way to hit the "reset" button on an obsessive or overwhelming thought.
Home Support Mission
High-Interest Interruption
The "A" in ACCÈS is Activities. If your child is stuck in a loop, prompt them to engage in their special interest (e.g., "Let's check the wreckage map for the Titanic"). This is a high-value distraction frequency.
Mission: Contribute
The "C" is Contributing. Ask for their help with a small, specific task (e.g., "I need a co-pilot to help me sort these groceries"). Helping others shifts the focus away from internal "static."
Change the Mood
The "È" is Emotions. Watch a short, funny video or look at a book of jokes. The goal is to create a different emotion that "jams" the unhelpful one.
CHANNEL SURFER CHALLENGE
Identify the top 3 "Distraction Channels" that work best for your child. Write them down and post them in their "Escape Pod" area so they know where to tune when the static gets too loud.
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Radar Jamming Distract and ACCES Worksheet Signal Jamming Log: ACCÈS
Mission: Flight 19
Week: 13
Radio Operator:
Static Level:
RADAR JAMMING
"When the 'static' of a bad feeling is too loud, you can't hear your compass. Switch to a new Frequency (Distraction) until the storm passes."
My Distraction Frequency Menu
Choose one activity for each "Frequency" to help jam the unhelpful signal.
A
Activities (Hobbies/Sorting)
C
Contributing (Helping others)
È
Emotions (Funny videos/Stories)
S
Sensations (Cold/Music)
My Top 3 Signal Jammers
#1
#2
#3
JAMMER ID: FLIGHT-19-ACCÈS
FREQUENCY RESET COMPLETE
Abandon Ship Radical Acceptance Counselor Guide Abandon Ship Counselor Guide
Module 2: Distress Tolerance (Skill: Radical Acceptance)
Session
14
Mission Objective
Teach Radical Acceptance using Ernest Shackleton's Endurance mission. Focus on the moment Shackleton realized the ship was doomed to be crushed by ice—he had to accept the total loss of his original goal to save his crew.
HFA ADAPTATION
Distinguish between "Accepting" and "Liking" (Accepting is just data).
Treat non-acceptance as "Friction"—it wastes energy.
Use "The Pivot" as a technical term for changing goals.
"Shackleton could have spent his energy crying over the ship. Instead, he accepted it was gone and started walking. That's why they lived."
THE PIVOT PROTOCOL
1
The Endurance in the Ice (10 mins)
Tell the story of 1915. Shackleton's ship was trapped for months and then crushed. Discuss the "Radical" choice: Stop trying to save the ship and start trying to save the men. If he hadn't accepted reality, they would have all died.
2
The Skill: Radical Acceptance (10 mins)
Define it: Accepting reality as it is, without judgment. "It is what it is." Contrast this with "Willfulness" (fighting reality/fighting the ice).
3
Activity: The Ice Trap Analysis (15 mins)
Complete the Radical Acceptance Worksheet . Identify a current "Ice Trap" (something the client is fighting that they can't change). Practice saying: "The ship is stuck. What is my next move?"
4
The Commander's Pivot (5 mins)
Identify one small thing the client will "Radically Accept" this week (e.g., a cloudy day, a rule they don't like).
Exploration Questions
"Does accepting that you are stuck in the ice mean that you like being stuck?"
"How much energy do you waste trying to make the ice melt with your anger?"
Abandon Ship Radical Acceptance Parent Guide Parent Expedition Guide
Week 14: Accepting the Ice (Radical Acceptance)
Antarctic Exploration
Parent Division
THE SHIP IS GONE
This week, your child is learning Radical Acceptance . This is the ability to accept reality exactly as it is, even when it’s painful or unfair. We use Ernest Shackleton’s Endurance mission as our metaphor.
"Shackleton survived because he didn't fight the fact that the ice crushed his ship. He accepted it and pivoted to a new goal."
Why this helps your child
Children with autism often struggle with "rigidity"—they have a plan in their head and feel "broken" when reality doesn't match it. Radical Acceptance is the antidote to this rigidity. It helps them see that fighting reality is like trying to punch an iceberg; it only hurts your hand. By accepting "what is," they can save their energy for finding a new solution.
Home Support Mission
Accepting vs. Liking
Constantly remind your child: "You don't have to like that it's raining, you just have to accept that it IS raining so we can find a new plan." This removes the pressure for them to "be happy" about a disappointment.
Model "The Pivot"
When something goes wrong for you, say it out loud: "Well, the store is closed (The Ice). I accept that. Now, what's our Pivot?" This makes flexibility look like a logical survival skill.
Validate the Pain
Acceptance doesn't mean ignoring feelings. "It makes sense that you're sad about the ship sinking. It's okay to feel that while we start walking."
COMMANDER'S CHALLENGE
Practice accepting one "No" this week without an argument. Focus on the moment of acceptance: "I accept that I can't have this right now. Now, I will pivot to my distraction tool."
Survival and Salvage DBT Program © 2026
Abandon Ship Radical Acceptance Worksheet Survivor Log: Radical Acceptance
Ship: Endurance
Week: 14
Expedition Leader:
Reality Check Date:
THE SHIP IS IN THE ICE
"You cannot stop the ice from crushing the ship. You can only stop yourself from CRUSHING YOUR OWN MIND by fighting the truth."
Acceptance =
Saying "Yes" to reality. It doesn't mean you LIKE it. It just means you STOP FIGHTING it.
My Personal Ice Trap
Identify something you are currently "Fighting" (not accepting) and plan your pivot.
The Reality (The Ice):
Example: "I can't play my game right now."
How am I "Fighting" it? (Willfulness):
Example: "Arguing, crying, or thinking 'it's unfair' over and over."
The Commander's Pivot:
"I accept that ______________________ is the truth. Now, I will..."
SHIP STATUS: ABANDONED
MISSION: SURVIVAL
Turning the Prop Counselor Guide Turning the Prop
Week 15: Turning the Mind Skill
Mission Status
PIVOT
Counselor Mission Briefing
"Turning the Prop" represents the shift from Willfulness (trying to force a broken plan) to Willingness (accepting reality and committing to a new survival path). For students with HFA, this skill is vital for breaking rigid "stuckness" when plans change.
"Willingness is doing just what is needed... like a pilot adjusting for crosswinds rather than fighting them."
Key Concepts
Willfulness: The heavy anchor of "should."Turning: choosing acceptance repeatedly.Willingness: Engaging life as it is.
HFA Adaptation
Rigidity vs. Willfulness: Students may confuse sensory overload with choice. Regulate first using TIPP before asking for a "Mind Turn."
Visual Cues: Use the propeller metaphor. If the ship isn't moving, the prop is jammed. What's the jam?
Mission Success
Success is not "liking" the change. Success is acting effectively despite the dislike.
Praise the "Inner Pivot"—the moment they stop arguing and start problem-solving.
Deployment Phase Alpha Complete — Turn Page for Protocol
The Salvage Protocol
01. Identify Anchor
Ask: "What is the thought making you stuck?"
"This isn't how it's supposed to be!"
02. Observe No
Identify jaw tension or chest pressure.
"I feel my hands balling into fists."
03. Turning
Actively choosing: "I'm turning my mind."
"I don't like it, but I choose to move."
04. Engagement
Use Half-Smile and Willing Hands.
Neurological reset via physical posture.
Session Log & Mission Observations
W15-TTM-LOG
Turning the Prop Parent Guide Parent Mission Brief
Week 15: Turning the Mind
Sector HOME-BASE
The Choice to Move Forward
This week, we are teaching Turning the Mind . In our metaphor, this is "Turning the Prop." It's the moment a captain realizes they can't fight the storm, so they turn the ship to move with reality toward safety. For your child, this means choosing willingness over willfulness .
Willful Anchor
"I won't do it!"
"It shouldn't be like this!"
"I can't deal with this!"
Willing Propeller
"I don't like this, but I'll do it."
"This is what is happening."
"I am choosing to pivot."
Support Strategies
1
Watch for the 'Inner No'
When your child is rigid, validate the feeling: "It looks like your internal anchor is down because this change is hard."
2
Model 'Turning the Prop'
When something goes wrong for you, say it out loud: "I'm feeling willful about this traffic, so I'm going to turn my mind."
3
Physical Cues
Help them use "Half-Smiling" or "Willing Hands" (palms up). These postures signal safety to the brain.
Mission Thought
Turning the mind is like a muscle. Your child may have to turn their mind toward acceptance dozens of times in a single hour. Praise the effort of turning, not just the outcome.
Survival and Salvage DBT System Document: PG-W15-TTM
Turning the Prop Worksheet Turning the Prop
Willingness Mission Log
Operator:
Date:
The Pivot Decision
In a salvage mission, the Anchor keeps you safe in port, but if the storm comes, the anchor becomes a trap. To survive, the captain must Turn the Prop —choosing to move the ship into the wind. This is Turning the Mind .
01. Identify the Willful Anchor
When we say "NO!" to reality, our anchor is stuck. Think of a time you felt stuck.
What happened? (The Situation)
What did the "Anchor" sound like? (e.g., "This isn't fair!")
02. Engaging the Propeller
Turning the Mind is a choice to engage the propeller and move forward anyway.
Select your Willingness Strategy:
Half-Smiling
Willing Hands
Script: "It is what it is."
Script: "I choose to pivot."
Write your own 'Willing Command':
Commander's Oath
"I realize I am fighting reality. I notice the willful anchor. I turn my mind. I choose the path of willingness."
Final Salvage Counselor Guide The Final Salvage
Week 16: Review & Graduation
Master Salvor
Mission Debrief
You have successfully navigated 16 weeks of emotional salvage operations. Today is about inventory and celebration . We ensure the student has their "Survival Kit" ready for life beyond the program.
"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." — We are preparing the student to sail into deeper waters.
Graduation Goals
Identify top 3 "Lifesaver" skills.
Create a "Red Alert" plan.
Recognition of resilience.
Graduation Protocol: Phase I
Step 1: Inventory
Review the mission binder. Look for 3 specific times a skill "prevented a wreck" or helped recover from one.
Ask: "Which skill was like a high-powered flashlight when things got dark?"
Step 2: Survival Kit
Help the student complete their Final Mission Log. Ensure they have written down their TIPP and Wise Mind scripts clearly.
Remind them: This log is their pocket guide for future storms.
PHASE I COMPLETE — TURN PAGE FOR CEREMONY & FINAL REMARKS
Graduation Protocol: Phase II
Step 3: The Ceremony
Make it formal but HFA-friendly. Avoid loud noises or sensory triggers. Present the student with their Master Salvor certificate. Recognize their journey from the first "Sonar Scan" to "Turning the Prop."
"By the power of the Salvage Mission, I officially name you a Master Salvor. You have recovered your Wise Mind and are ready to navigate any sea."
Counselor's Final Mission Remarks
Authorized Signature Required Below
Counselor Signature
Date of Commission
Final Salvage Parent Guide Mission Mastery
Final Maintenance Guide
Phase
RE-ENTRY
Safe Return to Port
Your child has completed the 16-week mission. They have salvaged a toolkit of skills to manage intense emotions. The mission now shifts to Maintenance Mode .
Watch for Red Alerts
Rigidity in schedule or rules.
Increased sensory sensitivity.
Shorter fuse/more distress "pings".
Maintenance Schedule
Weekly Review: Check in on best skills.Daily TIPP: Use breathing as a reset.Mind Check: Balance logic & emotion.
The Parent's SOS
Remember, you are the lighthouse. When waters get rough, your calm is the most powerful survival tool. If your child refuses a skill, model it yourself first. They will see the lighthouse through the storm.
Survival Kit Authorized
Final Salvage Worksheet Final Mission Log
Master Salvor Graduation
Operator Status
CERTIFIED
The Salvage Inventory
Which 3 skills are your "Essential Gear" for future storms?
1
2
3
Stats
Weeks16
Pings∞
Rating100%
WISE-MIND ZONE
The Rescue Plan (Red Alert)
When in "High Distress" (TIPP):
When stuck on "Willfulness":
Last Transmission
One thing you've learned about yourself:
End of Log
Authorized By:
Mission Success
