Heartbeat Check Preassessment Condensed Heartbeat Check
Name: __________________________
Welcome to our group! This helps us see what you know about friendships. Please answer honestly!
1. When someone is bothering you, what is the best first step?
Ignore them forever
Use an "I-Statement"
Say something mean back
Wait and then scream
2. A classmate is being left out and laughed at. What does an "Upstander" do?
Walk away/don't get involved
Go sit with the girl and talk
3. Empathy means...
Feeling sorry for them
Sharing their feelings
4. When you feel your heart racing because you are angry, you should:
Take "balloon breaths"
Stomp your feet
5. Draw or write about one thing you hope to learn in this group:
Heart to Heart
Heart to Heart Intro Slides Heart to Heart
Welcome to Our Circle
Week 1 The Starting Line
Our Safe Space
Purpose
Learn how to be a great friend
Handle big feelings like anger
Stand up for ourselves and others
Group Norms
What is said here, stays here
One person talks at a time
Kind words and kind listening
Heartbeat Check
It's time to see what you already know! This is not a test for a grade. It helps us plan our future activities.
Be Honest
Don't Worry
Take Your Time
The Friendship Tree
Kindness Sharing Listening Loyalty Trust
Discussion:
What are the most important things a friend can do?
"A friend is someone who..."
Coming Up Next...
Week 2
Heart Echoes
Empathy
Week 3
Cooling Fire
Anger Control
Week 4
Brave Hearts
Upstanders
Week 5
Forever Friends
Celebration
See you next time!
The Starting Line Teacher Guide Teacher Facilitation Guide
Lesson 1: The Starting Line
Session: 45-60 Minutes
Objectives
Establish group safety through norms and purpose.
Conduct a pre-assessment of relationship and conflict skills.
Foster initial connection through a "Friendship Brainstorm."
Materials Needed
• Heart to Heart Intro Slides
• Heartbeat Check Pre-assessments
• Pencils/Pens
• Markers and Chart Paper
Instructional Sequence
10 MIN
Welcome & Norms
Display Slide 1 and 2.
Say: "Welcome everyone! We are so glad you are here for Heart to Heart. This group is a special place just for us to talk about friendships, feelings, and how to be the best versions of ourselves."
Review the group norms. Ask: "Why do you think 'what is said here stays here' is our most important rule?"
15 MIN
Heartbeat Check (Pre-assessment)
Display Slide 3.
Distribute the Heartbeat Check Preassessment . Emphasize that this is not a graded test and there is no pressure.
Teacher Tip: Read the questions aloud for students who may struggle with reading. If students finish early, they can decorate the back of their paper or the open response box.
20 MIN
Friendship Tree Discussion
Display Slide 4.
Draw a large tree trunk on chart paper. Hand out sticky notes (or "leaves").
Prompt: "On your leaf, write one word or draw one thing that makes someone a 'good friend.' Then come stick it on our tree."
Review the words together. Look for patterns like "listening," "fun," or "trust."
5 MIN
Wrap Up & Preview
Display Slide 5.
Thank the group for their honesty and energy today. Give a quick shout-out to someone who followed a norm well (e.g., "I noticed how kindly Sarah listened today!").
Empathy Explorer Slides Heart Echoes
The Power of Empathy
Week 2
What is Empathy?
The Head
I see and recognize how you are feeling.
The Heart
I share those feelings with you.
The Hands
I do something to help or support you.
Feeling Detective
"Maya's shoulders are hunched, she's looking down at the ground, and her voice is very quiet when she speaks."
What do you see?
Body Language
Facial Expression
Tone of Voice
How is she feeling?
Heart Echo Listening
Don't:
Give advice right away
Tell them how to fix it
Make it about you
Look at your phone
Do:
Face them & make eye contact
Nod your head
Echo: "It sounds like you're..."
Ask: "How can I help?"
In Their Shoes
We're going to practice being "Feeling Detectives" and "Heart Echoers" with some real-life friendship scenarios!
In Their Shoes Worksheet In Their Shoes
Name: __________________________
Read each scenario below. Be a "Feeling Detective" to figure out how they feel, and then write a "Heart Echo" response.
Scenario 1: The Lunchroom
Sarah is sitting at her usual lunch table, but all her friends are whispering and laughing about a secret she wasn't invited to. She is picking at her food and won't look up.
Feeling Detective: How do you think Sarah is feeling?
Heart Echo: What could you say to show empathy?
Scenario 2: The Big Game
Chloe worked really hard for the soccer tryouts, but she just found out she didn't make the team. She's standing by her locker, biting her lip, with tears in her eyes.
Feeling Detective: How do you think Chloe is feeling?
Heart Echo: What could you say to show empathy?
Scenario 3: The Presentation
Leila has to give a presentation in front of the whole class. Her hands are shaking, she's pacing back and forth, and she keeps checking her notes every few seconds.
Feeling Detective: How do you think Leila is feeling?
Heart Echo: What could you say to show empathy?
Weekly Reflection
Why is empathy like a "superpower" for friendships?
Cooling the Fire Slides Cooling the Fire
Managing Our Big Feelings
Week 3
Your Body's Early Warning System
What happens first?
Face feels hot
Fists clenched
Heart racing
Tummy feeling tight
"Anger is like a smoke alarm. It tells us something is wrong, but we have to decide how to respond!"
When you catch the warning signs early, it's easier to stay in control.
The Calm-Down Toolbox
Breathing
"Balloon Breaths" or "Square Breathing" to slow down your heart.
5-4-3-2-1
Naming things you see, hear, and feel to get out of your head.
Movement
Taking a walk or stretching to release the "fire" in your body.
Balloon Breathing
Inhale
Fill your balloon tummy with air through your nose...
Exhale
Let the air out slowly through your mouth...
Let's try it 3 times together.
Your Personal Calm-Down Plan
Everyone is different! Today we're going to build our own Calm-Down Kits to use when we feel the fire starting to rise.
Calm Down Kit Worksheet My Calm-Down Kit
Name: __________________________
Anger is a natural feeling, but how we handle it matters! Use this page to plan how you will stay cool when the "fire" starts.
My Warning Signs
Circle the signs your body gives you when you're starting to get angry:
Hot face
Sweaty palms
Fast heart
Clenched fists
Stomach ache
Other: _______
My Top 3 Tools
Choose the 3 strategies that work best for YOU.
1. ______________________
2. ______________________
3. ______________________
The "Stop & Think" Promise
When I feel the warning signs, I will try my best to stop and use one of my tools before I speak or act.
Signature
My "Happy Place" Grounding
When things get too loud or stressful, draw a place that makes you feel peaceful and safe.
Brave Hearts Slides Brave Hearts
Using Your Voice for Good
Week 4
Choose Your Role
The Bystander
"I see something unkind happening, but I don't say anything because I'm afraid or I don't know what to do."
The Upstander
"I see something unkind happening, and I use my voice or my actions to help make it right."
Upstander Tools
1. Direct Stand
Say clearly: "That's not kind. Please stop."
2. Distraction
Change the subject or invite the person being targeted to go somewhere else with you.
3. Delegate
Get help from a trusted adult or another friend.
The Power of "I-Statements"
I feel... When you... I need...
"I feel hurt when you talk over me. I need you to listen when it's my turn."
Brave Voices Practice
It's hard to be brave in the moment! We're going to practice our scripts today so we're ready when it matters most.
Brave Scripts Worksheet Brave Voice Scripts
Name: __________________________
Practice makes perfect! Write down what you would say in these tricky situations to be a "Brave Heart."
Standing Up for Yourself
Situation: Your friend borrows your favorite marker and breaks it. They don't say sorry and just toss it back to you.
Use an I-Statement:
I feel
when you
I need
Standing Up for Others (Upstander)
Situation: You are in a group chat and someone starts making fun of a girl who isn't in the chat. Everyone else is sending laughing emojis.
Tool: Direct Stand
Say something right then and there.
Write your script here...
Tool: Distraction
Change the subject to stop the unkindness.
Write your script here...
Why it Matters
How does it feel when someone stands up for you? Why is it important to be that person for others?
Friendship Forever Slides Friendship Forever
Celebrating Our Journey Together
Week 5: Finale
Remembering Empathy
"I see you, I hear you, I'm here for you."
Being a Feeling Detective
Heart Echo Listening
Walking in Their Shoes
How have you used empathy this week?
Staying Cool & Brave
Cooling the Fire
Catching those warning signs early and using our Calm-Down Toolboxes.
Breathing Counting Pauzing
Brave Hearts
Standing up for ourselves and others as bold Upstanders.
I-Statements Scripts
Final Heartbeat Check
Let's see how much we've grown! Take your time and answer exactly how you feel now.
Our Circle Doesn't End
"We are a circle, within a circle, with no beginning and never ending."
Time for our Celebration!
Heartbeat Check Postassessment Heartbeat Check (Post-Assessment)
Name: __________________________ Date: ___________________________
Congratulations on finishing our 5-week program! This post-assessment helps us see what you've learned. Answer each question based on what we've practiced together.
1. When someone is bothering you or being unkind, what is the most helpful first step?
Tell them to be quiet and ignore them forever.
Use an "I-Statement" to tell them how you feel and what you need.
Say something mean back so they know how it feels.
Wait until you are really angry and then scream at them.
2. You see a classmate sitting alone while others are whispering and laughing at her. What does an "Upstander" do?
Walk away so you don't get involved in the drama.
Listen to the whispering to find out what happened.
Go sit with the girl and ask if she wants to play or talk.
Tell the other girls that they are being "mean girls."
3. Empathy means...
Feeling sorry for someone when they lose a game.
Always agreeing with your best friend even if they are wrong.
Understanding and sharing the feelings of another person.
Telling someone exactly how they should fix their problem.
4. When you start to feel your face get hot and your heart beat fast because you are angry, what is a good strategy to use?
Take three slow, deep "balloon breaths."
Stomp your feet so everyone knows you are mad.
Hold your breath until the feeling goes away.
Keep talking so you can explain why you are right.
5. What is the most important thing you learned in this group?
Heart to Heart Facilitator Guide Weeks 2-5 Program Facilitator Guide
Weeks 2–5: Building the Heart
Week 2: Heart Echoes (Empathy)
Goal: Define empathy and practice identifying feelings through body language.
Activity Tip: Use the "Feeling Detective" slides to model how to look for clues. If the group is quiet, roleplay a scenario yourself with exaggerated body language (e.g., stomping vs. slouching).
Worksheet: Students complete "In Their Shoes" in pairs. Encourage them to use the "I see... I hear..." stems for their Heart Echo responses.
Week 3: Cooling the Fire (Anger)
Goal: Normalize anger and identify physical warning signs.
Activity Tip: Spend significant time on "Balloon Breathing." It’s the most portable tool they have. Practice it even when they aren't mad so it becomes muscle memory.
Calm-Down Kit: Ensure students choose strategies that are realistic for school (e.g., they can't always go for a walk, so a "seated" tool like breathing is essential).
Week 4: Brave Hearts (Conflict)
Goal: Move from bystander to upstander using I-Statements.
Activity Tip: Roleplay is critical this week. If the students feel "cringey" doing it, lean into the humor. "Let's see the most dramatic I-Statement ever!" then dial it back to a serious one.
Scripts: Focus on the "Direct Stand" and "Distraction" as they are the most effective for 4th graders.
Week 5: Friendship Forever (Review)
Goal: Celebrate growth and conduct post-assessment.
Activity Tip: Make the post-assessment feel like a "look how much I've learned" moment rather than a final test. Follow it immediately with a celebration (snacks, music, or a game).
Closing: Hand out the "Heart to Heart Hero" certificates individually, naming a specific strength you saw in each girl over the 5 weeks.
Heart to Heart Hero Certificate Heart to Heart Hero
Certificate of Achievement
_________________________________
For demonstrating incredible Empathy, mastering Calm-Down Strategies, and showing the courage of a Brave Upstander.
Facilitator
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