Friendship Radar Lesson Plan Lesson 1 Guide • Brave Boundaries
Friendship Radar Lesson Plan
Target Audience: 4th Grade • Focus: Friendship Dynamics & People-Pleasing Prevention
Duration: 40–45 Mins
SEL Skill: Self-Awareness
Core Objective: Students who struggle with people-pleasing often mistake compliance and peacekeeping for friendship. This lesson equips 4th graders with an internal “Friendship Radar” to evaluate mutual respect, kindness, and reciprocity while recognizing subtle boundary violations.
Knowledge
Distinguish between green flags (supportive), yellow flags (proceed with care), and red flags (controlling/unkind).
Emotional Skill
Recognize physical “gut feelings” (tight chest, nervous stomach) when friendships feel unbalanced or pressured.
Action
Articulate what they personally value in a peer and complete an honest personal friendship energy audit.
Step-by-Step Lesson Pacing
1. Warm-Up: The Friendship Battery (8 mins) Minutes 0–8
Introduce the metaphor: “Just like your tablet, your emotional battery drains when an app uses too much background energy. Some interactions recharge your battery; others secretly drain it.” Prompt student: Think about how you feel after spending time with different classmates—energized or exhausted?
2. Concept Reveal: The 3 Radar Signals (12 mins) Minutes 8–20
Introduce the 3 signals on the board or chart:Green Signal: Mutual sharing, celebrates your wins, listens when you say no, respects your other friends.Yellow Signal: Only plays what they want, occasionally ignores you when others are around, gives teasing “jokes” that sting.Red Signal: Tells you who you can talk to, demands you share items/secrets, threatens to “not be your friend anymore” if you disagree.
3. Guided Sorting: Scenario Decoder (12 mins) Minutes 20–32
Walk through real 4th-grade social scenarios from the Friendship Radar Activity Sheet together. Emphasize: “Being nice does not mean saying yes to everything. You are allowed to notice when something feels off.”
People-Pleasing Mindset Trap to Address
4th graders with people-pleasing habits often believe: “If I point out a red flag or walk away, I am being mean.” Explicitly teach: Noticing unhealthy behavior and protecting your peace is NOT mean; it is healthy self-respect.
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Lesson 1 Teacher/Counselor Guide (Page 1 of 2)
Facilitation Scripts & Practice Guide
Lesson 1: Deepening Self-Advocacy & Discerning True Friendship
Counselor Toolkit
Educator Talking Scripts
“What is a true friend?” Script:
“Sometimes people think a friend is anyone who sits with us or invites us to play. But real friendship isn’t measured by popularity or how long you’ve known someone. Real friendship is measured by how safe, respected, and free to be yourself you feel when you are around them.”
“Why do we ignore warning signs?” Script:
“It is very normal to want everyone to like us. Sometimes when someone rolls their eyes or demands our favorite gel pen, we brush it off because we worry they will get mad. Today, we are giving ourselves permission to trust that little feeling inside that says: ‘Wait, that wasn’t kind.’”
Probing Questions for 1-on-1 or Small Group
Q1: Body Radar Check
“Where in your body do you feel uncomfortable when a friend pushes you to do something you don’t want to do? In your shoulders? Your stomach?”
Q2: The Reciprocity Scale
“Think about who asks questions about your day versus who only talks about themselves. Does your friendship feel like a two-way street or a one-way bridge?”
Q3: The Secret Rule Test
“Have you ever felt like you had to follow unwritten ‘rules’ to keep someone happy? What happens if you don’t follow their rules?”
Q4: The “No” Test
“How does this person react when someone tells them no? Do they say ‘okay cool,’ or do they give the silent treatment or make sarcastic comments?”
Educator Observation & Mastery Indicators
✓ Can accurately categorize at least 4 out of 5 scenarios into Green/Yellow/Red signals.
✓ Names at least 2 non-negotiable friendship qualities (e.g., honesty, celebrating differences).
✓ Verbalizes that stepping back from an unsupportive peer is an act of healthy self-care.
✓ Identifies physical sensation cues associated with peer pressure or discomfort.
Next Lesson Bridge: Now that we recognize when something feels wrong, Lesson 2 teaches the exact scripts to say “no” politely and firmly!
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Lesson 1 Teacher/Counselor Guide (Page 2 of 2)
Friendship Radar Activity Sheet Student Activity • Lesson 1
Friendship Radar Activity Sheet
Name:
Date:
GREEN LIGHT
Trust, kindness, fun, and mutual respect. You feel calm and happy.
YELLOW LIGHT
Caution. Teasing, one-sided rules, or hot-and-cold moods. Pay attention.
RED LIGHT
Stop. Controlling, demanding secrets, threats, or mocking your boundaries.
Decode the Signals: Read each scenario and color or check the light!
Scenario 1: Maya tells you: “If you sit with Chloe at lunch today, you can’t be in our group at recess anymore.”
Green Yellow Red
Scenario 2: You scored higher on the spelling test than your friend. She smiles and says: “Way to go! You studied so hard!”
Green Yellow Red
Scenario 3: Avery is nice when it is just the two of you, but ignores you or makes jokes at your expense when older kids join the group.
Green Yellow Red
Scenario 4: You tell Jordan: “I don’t want to play tag today; I’m reading.” Jordan replies: “No problem, I’ll see you later!”
Green Yellow Red
Scenario 5: Sam takes your favorite marker without asking. When you ask for it back, Sam says: “Don’t be so dramatic!”
Green Yellow Red
Check Your Friendship Battery
When you are with a healthy friend, your battery charges. When you feel pressured to please someone, it drains fast. How does your body feel when someone is being a red-flag friend?
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Page 1 of 2
My Friendship Compass
Deciding what you truly deserve in every friendship
Values & Reflection
The 4 Big Pillars of a True Friend
1. Mutual Kindness
They care about how you feel, not just about getting what they want from you.
2. Trust & Safety
They don't share your private thoughts or talk badly about you behind your back.
3. Freedom to Branch Out
They are happy when you have other friends and don’t act jealous or territorial.
4. Respects Your “No”
When you say you don’t want to do something, they accept it without guilt-tripping.
Prompt 1: Write about a time a friend showed you true kindness or respected your boundary. How did it feel?
Prompt 2: Have you ever said “yes” to a friend just so they wouldn’t be mad at you? What happened?
Friendship Radar Slides Lesson 1 • Brave Boundaries
Friendship Radar
How to spot true, supportive friends and protect your everyday energy.
Social-Emotional Learning
Grade 4 Navigation
Big Question
The Friendship Battery Test
Fully Charged
After hanging out, you feel happy, relaxed, and confident. You laughed and felt safe to be yourself.
✓ True Friend Energy
Drained to Zero
After hanging out, you feel exhausted, nervous, or worried you did something wrong to upset them.
× People-Pleasing Trap
“Your body always knows how a friendship truly feels.”
The Compass
The 3 Friendship Signals
Green Signal
Kindness, honesty, shares turns, celebrates when you win, and accepts your “no.”
Safe to Trust
Yellow Signal
Hot-and-cold moods, teasing that hurts, or ignoring you when other kids are around.
Pay Attention
Red Signal
Controlling who you sit with, demanding secrets, threats, or punishing you for boundaries.
Stop & Step Back
Which signal do you experience most often during recess?
Practice Lab
What Does Your Radar Say?
Scenario 1
“If you talk to Emma at lunch, you aren’t invited to my birthday party.”
RED LIGHT
Scenario 2
“You don’t want to play four-square? That’s okay, let’s hang out by the swings later!”
GREEN LIGHT
Notice how safe and easy the green light feels compared to the red light.
Mindset Shift
The Big Friendship Truth
“Being a kind person does NOT mean saying yes to everything.”
Old People-Pleaser Thought:
“If I don’t do what they want, they will be mad and I will have no friends.”
New Brave Boundary Truth:
“A friend who only likes me when I do what they want is not a true friend.”
Lesson 1 Wrap-up Next up: How to Say “No” with Confidence →
Brave Boundaries Parent Letter Home • School Partnership
Brave Boundaries Parent Letter
Supporting healthy friendships & self-advocacy in 4th Grade
Grade 4 SEL Focus Family Overview Guide
Dear Families & Caregivers,
Fourth grade is an exciting developmental milestone where friendships become deeper, more central, and often more complex. For many empathetic students, this year also brings strong people-pleasing tendencies —the fear that saying “no,” wanting space, or playing with other peers will make someone angry or cost them friendships.
To help your child build confidence and emotional safety, we are launching Brave Boundaries , a supportive four-lesson social-emotional learning sequence. Below is an outline of what your child will explore:
Lesson 1: Friendship Radar Discerning Healthy Peers
Students learn to evaluate how relationships feel using the Friendship Battery metaphor. They practice categorizing green flags (mutual respect, reciprocity), yellow flags (teasing, one-sided rules), and red flags (controlling behavior, threats, and exclusion).
Lesson 2: The Polite No Assertive Communication
Students learn that “no” is a complete and kind sentence. We practice ditching over-apologizing and white lies in favor of three simple formulas (e.g., “Thanks for asking, but I’m going to pass today” ), accompanied by confident posture and eye contact.
Lesson 3: The Gentle Stepback Low-Conflict Distancing
Students discover they do not need dramatic confrontations to step away from friendships that feel unhealthy or exhausting. Using the Three Circles of Closeness , they learn how to branch out to new recess activities and maintain friendly, low-drama boundaries.
Lesson 4: Boundary Shields & Adult Allies Self-Advocacy & Safety
When boundaries are tested or ignored, students practice the Broken Record shield and learn the difference between tattling and reporting. Each student maps a 5-finger trusted adult safety net and memorizes a 3-sentence script to ask adults for help with ease.
“Our goal is to help your child realize that kindness does not require self-sacrifice.”
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Family Overview (Page 1 of 2)
How to Support Your Child at Home
Reinforcing brave boundaries through casual conversations
Family Toolkit
Conversation Starters for the Car Ride or Dinner Table
Prompt 1: Battery Check
“Did any activities or conversations recharge your battery today at school? Did anything feel like it drained your battery?”
Prompt 2: Boundary Roleplay
The Polite No Lesson Plan Lesson 2 Guide • Brave Boundaries
The Polite No Lesson Plan
Target Audience: 4th Grade • Focus: Assertive Communication & Saying No Gracefully
Duration: 40–45 Mins
SEL Skill: Relationship Skills
Core Objective: People-pleasing students frequently believe that saying “no” is rude, hurtful, or friendship-ending. This lesson reframes “no” as an act of honesty and clarity, giving 4th graders low-friction, polite formulas and practicing confident, non-defensive delivery.
1. Calm Tone
Warm, neutral voice. No apologetic stammering or aggressive defense. Simple and steady.
2. Tall Posture
Relaxed shoulders, soft eye contact, open hands. Confident body language prevents pushback.
3. No Long Excuse
Over-explaining invites arguing or problem-solving. A polite no is complete on its own.
Instructional Sequence
1. Myth Busting: “Is Saying No Mean?” (8 mins) Minutes 0–8
Ask: “When a waiter asks if you want broccoli and you say ‘No thank you,’ is that mean?” Discuss: No! It is just clear communication. When we say “yes” while feeling “no,” we end up feeling resentful, tired, and unhappy.
2. Introduce the 3 Polite No Formulas (12 mins) Minutes 8–20
Teach three reliable verbal scripts:The Polite Pass: “Thanks for asking, but I’m going to pass today.” The Kind Neutral: “No thanks, that doesn’t work for me right now.” The Firm Reset: “I’m keeping this for myself today, but thanks for understanding.”
3. Guided Rehearsal & Pushback Shield (15 mins) Minutes 20–35
Use the Polite No Practice Cards . The educator models peer pressure (“Aw come on, why not? Just this once!”), and the student practices staying relaxed, repeating the phrase once, and moving on.
The “Fake Apology & Long Excuse” Trap
People-pleasers often say: “Oh I am so so sorry! My mom said maybe I can’t and I also have soccer and I feel so bad!” Long excuses invite peers to argue (“Well ask your mom again!”). Teach students to eliminate unnecessary “sorry”s.
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Lesson 2 Teacher/Counselor Guide (Page 1 of 2)
Roleplay Scripts & Coaching Prompts
Lesson 2: Real-time rehearsal for peer pressure and pushback
Rehearsal Lab
Interactive Roleplay Simulations
Roleplay A: The Lunch Trade Pressure
Counselor (Peer): “Give me your fruit snacks! You have them every day anyway, don’t be selfish!”
Polite No Practice Cards Student Rehearsal • Lesson 2
Polite No Practice Cards
Name:
Date:
Remember the Golden Rule: You can be 100% kind and 100% firm at the exact same time! You never need to make up a lie or apologize for having a boundary.
CARD 1 In the Classroom
The Test Cheating Pressure
A classmate whispers: “Psst! Move your arm so I can see your answers for number 5 and 6!”
Old Trap: Moving your arm and worrying the teacher will catch you both.
My Polite No Script:
CARD 2 At the Lunch Table
The Lunchbox Grab
Someone reaches over and says: “I’m taking your cookies! You got them yesterday, so it’s my turn!”
Old Trap: Handing them over with a nervous smile while feeling sad inside.
My Polite No Script:
CARD 3 At Recess
The Exclusion Rule
A peer tells you: “Let’s run away from Leah so she can’t play with us today. Come on, hurry!”
Old Trap: Running along even though you know Leah will be hurt.
My Polite No Script:
CARD 4 After School
The Last-Minute Invite
A friend insists: “You have to come to my house right after school today or I won’t save you a seat tomorrow!”
Old Trap: Panicking, begging parents, or making up a giant complicated story.
My Polite No Script:
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Page 1 of 2
The Polite No Formula Vault
Pick and customize the response that feels most natural to you
Pocket Formulas
Formula 1: The “Thanks, But Pass”
“Thanks for asking, but I’m going to pass on that today.”
Best for: Recess games, club invites, or activities you aren't interested in.
Formula 2: The “Doesn’t Work For Me”
“No thank you, that doesn’t work for me right now.”
Best for: Demands to share personal items, trades, or favors that make you uncomfortable.
Formula 3: The “Kind Alternative”
“I’m not able to [do that], but I can [offer another option].”
Best for: Good friends when you want to stay connected but decline a specific task.
My Confident Delivery Checklist
Shoulders relaxed & down (not hunched)
Calm eye contact with a gentle, neutral face
Clear voice at normal speaking volume
The Polite No Slides Lesson 2 • Brave Boundaries
The Polite No
How to be 100% kind and 100% clear at the exact same time.
Assertive Communication
No White Lies Needed
Habit Check
Ditching the Fake Apology
The Over-Apology Trap
“I’m so so sorry! Please don’t be mad! My mom said maybe I can’t and I feel terrible...”
Invites arguing, questioning, and guilt.
The Brave Boundary
“Thanks for asking, but I’m going to pass today!”
Clear, friendly, confident, and respectful.
Having a boundary is not something you need to say sorry for!
Scripts Vault
Pick Your Polite No Formula
Formula 1 • The Polite Pass
“Thanks for asking, but I’m going to pass today.”
Recess games & clubs
Formula 2 • The Neutral Decline
“No thank you, that doesn’t work for me right now.”
Sharing demands & trades
Formula 3 • The Kind Reset
“I’m keeping this for myself today, but thanks for understanding!”
Supplies & lunch treats
Which phrase feels most natural for your voice?
Delivery
How You Stand Says It All
Spine
Tall & relaxed. Shoulders down, not hunched.
Eyes
Gentle eye contact. No staring at your shoes.
Voice
Steady & calm. No nervous laughing.
Face
Neutral smile. Friendly, but not apologetic.
When your body looks confident, people accept your “No” much faster!
Challenge
What If They Push Back?
Peer says:
“Aw come on, why not? Don’t be boring! Just this once!”
Your Calm Response:
“Like I said, that doesn’t work for me today. Catch you later!”
Lesson 2 Complete Next up: The Gentle Stepback →
Gentle Stepback Lesson Plan Lesson 3 Guide • Brave Boundaries
The Gentle Stepback Lesson Plan
Target Audience: 4th Grade • Focus: Low-Conflict Distancing & Social Circle Calibration
Duration: 40–45 Mins
SEL Skill: Decision-Making
Core Objective: 4th-grade girls often assume that ending an unhealthy friendship requires a dramatic confrontation (“I’m dumping you”) or cruel ghosting. This lesson teaches the art of the “Gentle Stepback”—gradually shifting peers to outer social circles with calmness, polite neutrality, and zero drama.
Circle 1: Inner Circle
Safe, trustworthy peers who celebrate you. You share private thoughts and close time here.
Circle 2: Activity Friends
Fun for group projects, kickball, or science labs. Friendly, polite, but with healthy boundaries.
Circle 3: Classmates
Peers you treat with basic school respect, but do not spend 1-on-1 recess time or share secrets with.
Instructional Sequence
1. Dismantling the “Best Friends Forever” Myth (10 mins) Minutes 0–10
Explain: “In 4th grade, interests change, and that’s okay! You are not trapped in a friendship contract just because you were friends in 2nd grade. When someone treats you unkindly or demands your constant energy, you have the right to step back.”
2. The 3 Gentle Stepback Strategies (15 mins) Minutes 10–25
Introduce three practical techniques:1. Diversify Spaces: Rotate between the swings, art cart, library, and sports courts rather than staying tethered to one peer.2. Fade 1-on-1 Intensity: Move from 1-on-1 hangouts to larger group activities where one peer cannot monopolize you.3. The Warm Neutralizer: Say “Good morning!” and “Have a great weekend!” with a smile so you are never mean, but decline private gossip sessions.
3. Map It Out: The Gentle Stepback Journal (15 mins) Minutes 25–40
Guide the student through completing the Gentle Stepback Journal . Identify new low-pressure friendship connections and plan concrete steps for navigating lunch seating and playground choices.
Handling the Guilt: “Am I Being a Bad Person?”
People-pleasing students feel an immense weight of responsibility for other people’s feelings. Remind them: You are responsible for being respectful; you are not responsible for managing someone else’s emotional state or entertainer needs.
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Lesson 3 Teacher/Counselor Guide (Page 1 of 2)
Scripts & Schoolyard Scenarios
Lesson 3: Navigating confrontation-free boundary transitions
Gentle Stepback Journal Student Journal • Lesson 3
Gentle Stepback Journal
Name:
Date:
You get to choose who gets close to you! You can be polite to everyone at school, while reserving your closest time and trust for friends who treat you with kindness.
My Social Circles Map: Where do peers belong right now?
Inner Circle
True, reciprocal friends. Safe to share secrets and laughs. Never force you to change.
Who feels safe here:
Activity Friends
Fun to play sports, games, or work on group projects with. Friendly, but healthy distance.
Who fits here:
Classmates / Distance
Peers who drain your energy or ignore boundaries. Polite greeting, but no private time.
Moving to outer circle:
Recess Zones: Where can I branch out this week?
Check 2 new zones or activities you want to try so you aren’t stuck with people who drain you:
Art / drawing station or library Four-square / basketball court Swings or walking track Joining a new group game on the turf
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Page 1 of 2
My Low-Drama Script Builder
Kind, short phrases to create gentle space when needed
Action Plan
1. At Lunch: When someone demands you sit only with them, what kind phrase can you use to sit somewhere else?
Idea: “I’m sitting over with [Name] today to talk about our book, but have a great lunch!”
2. At Recess: When someone tries to pull you into drama or gossip about another kid, how do you step away?
Idea: “I don’t really like talking about other people behind their backs. I’m going to go run around now!”
3. Partner Work: When a draining friend assumes you two must always be partners, what can you say?
Idea: “I promised [Name] I would partner with them for this science project. Let’s catch up later!”
My Peace & Boundaries Contract
I understand that I am allowed to have quiet time, branch out to new friends, and protect my energy. Stepping back politely is not being mean—it is taking care of myself.
My Signature:
Date:
“I can be kind from a healthy distance.”
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Page 2 of 2
The Gentle Stepback Slides Lesson 3 • Brave Boundaries
The Gentle Stepback
How to create polite, healthy distance from peers without drama or fights.
Social Circles & Navigation
Protecting Your Peace
Reframing Friendship
Stepping Back Is Not “Dumping”
What You Don't Have to Do:
Have a giant emotional showdown, send a mean message, or give the cold shoulder.
Creates unnecessary drama and stress.
The Gentle Stepback:
Stay friendly and polite, while gradually spending your free time with other kids.
Calm, respectful, and protects your energy.
You are always allowed to change who you spend recess and lunch with!
The Tool
The 3 Circles of Closeness
Inner Circle
True friends who respect your boundaries, celebrate you, and feel safe.
Closest Trust
Activity Friends
Fun for kickball, science projects, and group games. Friendly, but clear boundaries.
Shared Hobbies
Classmates
Peers you greet with kindness, but don't hang out with 1-on-1 or share secrets with.
Polite Distance
You decide which circle each person belongs in!
Ready Scripts
What to Say in the Moment
At Lunch: “Why aren’t you sitting with me?”
“I promised Sarah I’d sit with her today to talk about our book. See you in math!”
At Recess: “Are you mad at me? Why are you playing soccer?”
“Not mad at all! I just had a lot of energy and felt like running around on the field.”
Notice how these answers are friendly, calm, and focus on what you ARE doing.
Empowerment
Your Freedom to Choose
“You can be kind to everyone, while staying close only to those who treat you right.”
• Branch out at recess • Explore new hobbies • Protect your peace
Lesson 3 Complete Next up: Boundary Shields & Adult Allies →
Boundary Shields Lesson Plan Lesson 4 Guide • Brave Boundaries
Boundary Shields Lesson Plan
Target Audience: 4th Grade • Focus: Boundary Violations & Seeking Adult Intervention
Duration: 40–45 Mins
SEL Skill: Self-Advocacy
Core Objective: When a student says no or steps back, persistent peers may push harder, manipulate, or retaliate. This lesson equips 4th graders with the “Broken Record” boundary shield and dissolves the people-pleaser fear of being labeled a “tattletale” by creating a concrete trusted adult safety net.
1. The Broken Record
Repeat your exact neutral phrase twice without getting sucked into debates or negotiations.
2. The Physical Exit
Turn your body and physically walk toward a supervised or neutral area. Do not linger.
3. Adult Lifeline
When boundaries are ignored or repeated, immediately brief a designated trusted adult.
Instructional Sequence
1. Debunking: Tattling vs. Reporting (10 mins) Minutes 0–10
Define with total clarity:Tattling: Trying to get someone into trouble over small, harmless things (“Tim used a blue pen!”).Reporting / Asking for Help: Trying to get someone (or yourself) out of trouble, harm, or repeated harassment when you already asked them to stop.
2. The “Broken Record” Defense Rehearsal (15 mins) Minutes 10–25
Teach the 3-step escalation protocol:“I told you no, I’m not doing that today.” “I’ve answered you. I’m heading over to the swings now.” Walk away.
3. Constructing the Adult Ally Lifeline (15 mins) Minutes 25–40
Complete the Adult Ally Lifeline Sheet . Practice the 3-sentence script so asking an adult feels structured, safe, and empowering rather than embarrassing.
The Fear of Social Retaliation
Students often fear: “If I tell a teacher, the friend will tell everyone I’m a snitch.” Reassure: Adults can step in discreetly (e.g., assigning new table partners or stationing a recess monitor nearby) without announcing: “So-and-so told on you.”
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Lesson 4 Teacher/Counselor Guide (Page 1 of 2)
Adult Intervention Framework & Scripts
Lesson 4: Empowering students to advocate and recruit support
Protocol Guide
The 3-Sentence Student Script for Adult Help
1
Adult Ally Lifeline Sheet Student Guide • Lesson 4
Adult Ally Lifeline Sheet
Name:
Date:
You never have to handle big boundary problems alone! Asking for help when someone refuses to respect your boundaries is not tattling—it is smart, courageous self-protection.
The 3-Step Broken Record Shield: When someone won’t take “No” for an answer
STEP 1
Clear, Kind Boundary
State your polite refusal once with calm eye contact.
“No thank you, I’m not doing that today.”
STEP 2
The Broken Record
If they argue or beg, repeat the exact same sentence. Do not debate.
“Like I said, I’m not doing that today.”
STEP 3
Exit & Adult Briefing
If they persist, turn and walk to an adult. Do not stay in the corner.
“I’ve answered you. I’m walking away now.”
Tattling or Reporting? Read each situation and check the right box:
1. A peer drops their pencil shavings on the floor and didn’t clean it up right away.
Tattling Reporting / Asking Help
2. You told a classmate to stop taking your backpack, but they keep grabbing it and laughing.
Tattling Reporting / Asking Help
3. A student says: “If you don’t give me your dessert, I’ll tell everyone a rumor about you.”
Tattling Reporting / Asking Help
4. A classmate whispered to their neighbor during independent reading time.
Tattling Reporting / Asking Help
Brave Boundaries Curriculum • Page 1 of 2
My Trusted Adult Lifeline Network
Name 5 adults who will listen, believe you, and protect your boundaries
Safety Net
ADULT 1
At School
Name:
Where to find:
ADULT 2
Counselor/Teacher
Name:
Where to find:
ADULT 3
At Home
Name:
Where to find:
ADULT 4
Recess/Coach
Name:
Where to find:
ADULT 5
Family / Other
Name:
Where to find:
Practice Writing Your 3-Sentence SOS Script
Fill in your own words so you feel 100% prepared to ask an adult:
Sentence 1 (The Open): “I need advice about a boundary with...”
Sentence 2 (The Fact): “I already asked them to stop, but they kept...”
Boundary Shields Slides Lesson 4 • Brave Boundaries
Boundary Shields
What to do when someone ignores your boundaries and how to recruit adult allies.
Self-Advocacy
Trusted Adult Network
Technique
The 3-Step Broken Record Shield
Step 1
State Boundary
“No thank you, I’m not doing that today.”
Say it once calmly.
Step 2
Repeat Exactly
“Like I said, I’m not doing that today.”
No debate or excuses.
Step 3
Exit to an Adult
“I’ve answered you. I’m walking away now.”
Head directly to a supervisor.
You never have to stand there and argue back and forth!
Myth Buster
Tattling vs. Asking for Help
Tattling
Trying to get someone INTO trouble.
Over small, harmless rules that aren’t hurting anyone (like someone dropping a crayon or talking during reading).
Reporting & Asking Help
Getting yourself or others SAFE.
When someone refuses to stop, threatens you, makes you feel unsafe, or ignores repeated boundaries.
Asking an adult when your boundary is ignored is ALWAYS the right move!
Ready Words
How to Ask an Adult for Help
1
Open:
“I need some advice with a boundary with a classmate.”
2
The Facts:
“I told [Name] no twice, but they keep pushing and following me.”
3
The Ask:
“Could you help keep an eye on our table during lunch?”
Adults love when you use this script because it shows how maturely you handled it first!
Celebration
Brave Boundaries Pledge
“I deserve friends who treat me with kindness, listen to my ‘no,’ and celebrate who I am.”
✓ Kind & Firm ✓ Safe Distances ✓ Adult Allies
You have the power to create friendships that fill your battery!
