Voice Power Presentation Voice Power
Finding the sweet spot between staying quiet and speaking up.
What is Assertiveness?
It's the ability to express your feelings, needs, and boundaries in a way that is clear and respectful.
Respect for You
Knowing your needs are important.
Respect for Others
Speaking without attacking.
The Communication Spectrum
Passive
"Your needs come before mine."
• Avoiding conflict at all costs
• Hiding your true feelings
• Feeling like a "doormat"
Target Style
Assertive
"We both matter equally."
• Clear, direct, and honest
• Firm but kind voice
• Respectful eye contact
Aggressive
"My needs come before yours."
• Attacking or blaming
• Loud or sarcastic
• Not listening to others
The Anxiety Trap
Anxious thoughts can stop us from speaking up. Do any of these sound familiar?
"They'll think I'm being dramatic."
"I'm going to hurt their feelings."
"It's not worth the drama."
The CBT Reality Check
Expressing a need is not dramatic. It's necessary for healthy relationships!
The Script for Strength
YOUR TOOLKIT
1
I feel overwhelmed
2
When I am in the middle
3
I would like to stay out of it
Dealing with the "Middle"
The Situation
Parents asking you to pass messages or vent about the other parent.
The Assertive Script
"I feel stressed when I'm put in the middle of your conversations. I would like it if you spoke to each other directly."
"Setting a boundary isn't picking a side. It's taking care of YOU."
School & Friendship Hurdles
Unwanted Teasing
"I feel overwhelmed when you tease me right now. I'm not in the mood, so I'd like to talk about something else."
Getting Help
"I'm feeling confused about this project. I tried looking at the rubric but I still need help. Could you explain this step again?"
Pro Tip: "I" statements focus on YOU, not on blaming THEM.
Mental Gym
Wait... am I being dramatic?
The Truth:
Dramatic is creating a scene.
Assertive is clarifying your needs.
If you are speaking calmly, using "I" statements, and being respectful, you are NOT being dramatic. You are being brave.
Ready to Practice?
Pick one situation this week where you will try an "I" statement. Start small, and remember: Your voice matters.
GO FOR IT!
Fear Decoder Worksheet Fear Decoder
Challenging the thoughts that keep us quiet.
Name
Date
The "Dramatic" Fear
When we feel anxious about speaking up, our brains often tell us stories to keep us "safe."
Overestimating the Drama
"If I say no, everyone will think I'm making a scene or being extra."
Catastrophizing Feelings
"If I set a boundary, they will be devastated and hate me forever."
1 Catch the Thought
The Situation
Example: My dad is venting to me about my mom and I want him to stop.
The Anxious Thought
What is the scary story your brain is telling you? (e.g., "He'll think I'm picking mom's side")
Fear Meter (How true does it feel?)
1 (False)
5 (Totally True)
Is this thought a...
Fact
Thinking Error
2 Decode the Reality
Evidence Check
Is there proof I'm being "dramatic"? Is there proof that setting a boundary helps long-term?
The Best Friend Test
If your best friend had this same boundary, would you think they were "dramatic"?
RE-FRAME
The Assertive Truth
Rewrite the thought into something factual and empowering.
Example: "Sharing my feelings is how people learn to respect me. It's brave, not dramatic."
Setting a boundary is an act of self-respect.
Boundary Blueprints Worksheet Boundary Blueprints
Practical scripts for real-life situations.
Name
The "I" Statement Formula
I feel [feeling] when [situation]. I would like [request].
The "Messenger" Trap
Example Included
Scene: Dad starts venting about Mom and says: "Tell her she needs to check her email about child support."
Example Script
I feel stressed
when I'm asked to pass messages
I'd like you to tell her directly
Your Version
The "Quiet Ask"
Scene: You just got home from Mom’s. Dad asks: "So, what did she do this weekend? Did she mention her new boyfriend?"
I feel...
When...
I would like...
The "Mood" Mismatch
Scene: You’re having a rough day. Your friends keep teasing you. You worry about being "dramatic" if you speak up.
I feel...
When...
I'd like...
The "Homework" Press
Scene: A friend asks: "Can I just snap a photo of your math sheet? I'll change the answers a bit."
I feel...
When...
I'd like...
The "Lost in Class" Request
Scene: Teacher explains the work, but you're confused. You need help, but don't want to be annoying.
I'm feeling...
About...
Could you...
Custom Challenge
My Scenario
I feel
when
I would like
Practice makes permanent. Start with the "easiest" scenario first!
Voice Power Therapist Guide Therapist Guide
Lesson 1: Voice Power
Learning Objectives
Identify communication styles: passive, assertive, and aggressive.
Challenge "dramatic" or "hurtful" cognitive distortions using CBT.
Rehearse "I" statements for complex divorce-related and peer scenarios.
Practice real-world role-playing with specific "level-up" challenges.
Material Walkthrough
1 & 2. Intro & CBT
Use the Slides to define styles. Use the Decoder to address the fear of being "dramatic."
Prompt: "If your best friend said 'no' to copying homework, would you think she's a bad person?"
3. Boundary Blueprints
Drafting phase. Focus on the "Messenger" and "Interrogator" scenarios as these carry the most anxiety.
Tip: Validate the difficulty of staying neutral when parents are involved.
4. Practice Power-Up (Rehearsal)
Facilitation Strategy:
The Rehearsal Cards are the core of this lesson. Use them to move from drafting to speaking. Start with peer scenarios to build confidence before tackling parent-focused ones.
Parentification Check
If she feels 'guilty' for not spying, ask: "Whose job is it to communicate with your mom?"
Tone Analysis
Mirror her style. If she's too quiet, ask her to try again with 20% more volume.
Advanced Rehearsal Prompts
If she masters the basics, try these "High Pressure" prompts to build resilience:
P1
"Why are you acting like that? You've never had a problem with this before. You're being so dramatic lately!"
— Goal: Help her respond to the very criticism she fears most.
P2
"Fine, if you don't want to help your friend, I guess that's your choice. But they might not want to hang out as much."
— Goal: Challenge the fear of social abandonment and guilt.
Closing Homework
"This week, find one low-stakes situation where you feel interrupted. Say: 'Can I just finish my thought before we move on?' and report back how it felt."
Practice Power Up Rehearsal Practice Power-Up Cards
One-on-one rehearsal scripts for your session.
Guide: Therapist reads the Parent/Peer/Teacher part. Student reads the Script Starter or creates their own!
Home Scenario
The Messenger
Dad says: "Can you tell your mom she needs to check her email about child support?"
Practice Script Starter
"I feel stressed when I'm asked to pass messages. I'd like you to tell her directly."
Level Up
Maintain a neutral tone even if he sighs or looks annoyed.
Home Scenario
The Interrogator
Mom says: "So, what did you and your dad's new girlfriend talk about all weekend?"
Practice Script Starter
"I feel awkward being asked questions like that. I'd like it if we talked about [Topic] instead."
Level Up
Actually name a topic (like your favorite show) as the alternative.
School Scenario
The Borrower
Friend says: "Can I just snap a photo of your math? I'll change the answers so it looks different."
Practice Script Starter
"I feel worried about getting in trouble. I'd like to keep my work private, but I can help you with one problem."
Level Up
Keep eye contact and don't apologize for saying no.
School Scenario
The Teaser
Peer says: "Aww, you're so sensitive today. We're just joking around, don't be weird."
Practice Script Starter
"I feel overwhelmed by the jokes right now. I'm not in the mood, so I'd like to talk about something else."
Level Up
Walk away after saying your script if they continue teasing.
The Practice Debrief
How did it feel in your body?
What was the hardest part to say?
Muscle memory for the mind.
Boundary Boss Basics Boundary Boss Basics
Understanding the lines that keep you healthy.
What is a Boundary?
A boundary is like an invisible fence around your heart, your time, and your space. It isn't meant to keep people out ; it's meant to show people where the gate is and how to treat you with respect.
Without Boundaries:
• You feel "drained" or exhausted.
• You feel resentful or angry.
• You let people walk all over you.
With Boundaries:
• You feel safe and respected.
• Your relationships are healthier.
• You have energy for things you love.
The 4 Main Types
Physical
Space & Touch
"I'm not really a hugger, let's just high-five instead!"
Emotional
Feelings & Energy
"I'm not the best person to vent to about [Other Parent] right now."
Time
Availability
"I have to study, but I can talk to you for 5 minutes after class."
Material
Your Stuff
"You can use my pens, but please put them back in the case."
The "Dramatic" Myth
Your brain might tell you that setting a boundary is being mean or dramatic. That is an anxious lie.
"Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and love me simultaneously." — Prentis Hemphill
Reality Check:
If someone gets mad at your boundary, it’s usually because they were benefiting from you not having one. It isn't your job to fix their feelings.
Which boundary feels the hardest for you?
Physical
Emotional
Time
Material
Why is this one tough? (e.g., "I'm afraid of being dramatic")
You don't have to apologize for taking care of yourself.
Scenario Shuffle Role Play Cards Scenario Shuffle Role Play
One-on-one rehearsal scripts for your session.
Scenario 1: The "Secret" Messenger
Setup Your Mom says: "Don't tell your dad about [X], it'll just cause a fight. Just keep it between us." You feel guilty keeping secrets and stuck in the middle.
Example Script
Mom: "Just don't mention the party to him, okay? He'll just get annoying about it."
Student: "I feel uncomfortable keeping secrets from Dad. I'd like it if you told him yourself so I don't feel stuck in the middle."
Your Turn (Write here)
Try a shorter version (e.g., "I'd prefer not to be part of that.")
Scenario 2: The Sibling Barge-In
Setup You're in your room trying to decompress. Your sibling barges in without knocking and starts jumping on your bed or taking your stuff.
Example Script
Sibling: "Hey! What are you doing? Can I play with this? It's so cool."
Student: "I feel overwhelmed when you come in without knocking. I'd like you to knock and wait for me to say yes first."
Your Turn (Write here)
Try asking for 15 minutes of alone time first.
Scenario 3: The Bad Tag
Setup A friend posted a photo of you that you really hate. Everyone is commenting on it. You worry about being "dramatic" if you ask them to take it down.
Example Script
Friend: "Did you see the post? It's so funny! You look so weird but everyone loves it."
Student: "I feel self-conscious about that photo. I'd like you to delete it and ask me before tagging me next time."
Your Turn (Write here)
Try a "softer" request (e.g., untagging).
Scenario 4: The "Busy" Teacher
Setup You already asked for help twice, but the teacher keeps rushing through. You're still lost. You don't want to be "annoying," but you really need to pass.
Example Script
Teacher: "Okay guys, just follow the steps on the board. I have to grade these tests."
Student: "I'm feeling confused about Step 3 even after reading the board. Could you show me just that one part again?"
Your Turn (Write here)
Try asking to come in at lunch instead.
Practice makes progress. Use your Voice Power!