Beneath Surface Facilitator Guide Beneath the Surface
Week 1: The Iceberg Theory
Facilitator Guide
Session Objective
Participants will identify that anger is often a "secondary emotion" and explore the "primary emotions" (sadness, fear, shame) hidden beneath their surface. This reduces the stigma of being "just an angry person."
Discussion Prompts
• "Why is it easier to show anger than to show that you're actually hurt or scared?"
• "Think about a time you blew up. Looking back, what was the actual feeling that started the fuse?"
• "How does it feel to realize your anger might be protecting something more vulnerable?"
Art Supplies
Watercolor Paper
Watercolor Sets
Brushes & Water Cups
White Crayons (for resist)
Salt (optional for texture)
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Check-In & Icebreaker (10 min)
Welcome students. Distribute journals.
"We're starting a journey called Art of the Ember . An ember is the part of a fire that stays hot even after the flames go out. We're here to learn how to handle that heat."Check-in Question: "On a scale of 1 (cold ash) to 10 (forest fire), where is your temperature today?"
2
The Concept: The Iceberg (10 min)
Show an image of an iceberg. Explain that anger is the 10% above the water. "When we yell or slam a door, people see 'Anger'. But underneath, there's a huge block of Primary Emotions : embarrassment, grief, feeling ignored, or jealousy. Today we find what's underwater."
3
Creative Alchemy: Watercolor Resist (20 min)
The Activity: Students draw an iceberg outline with a white crayon (invisible at first). In the top (visible) part, they write "ANGER" or words for how they act out. In the bottom (submerged) part, they write their primary emotions (e.g., "Left out", "Stupid", "Unsafe").
Then, they paint over it with blue/purple watercolors. The crayon words will "resist" the paint and pop out. Encourage layering colors to show depth.
4
Cool Down & Reflection (5 min)
Have them look at their work. "Which word was hardest to write underwater?" Give a 1-minute silent reflection or a quick group share if they feel safe.
Beneath Surface Iceberg Worksheet Beneath the Surface
The Iceberg Discovery
Name:
Date:
Water Line
Above the Water: The Action
What behaviors do people see when you're angry?
What are the primary feelings hiding underneath the surface?
Below the Water: The Hidden Feeling
The "Why"
Why might it feel "safer" to show people anger instead of showing them you are sad, scared, or embarrassed?
The Revelation
Look at the words you wrote "submerged" in your watercolor art. Which one feels the most heavy today?
Reminder: Use the white crayon for the hidden words before you start painting with the blue watercolors.
Fire Veins Facilitator Guide Fire in the Veins
Week 2: Physiological Signals
Facilitator Guide
Session Objective
Participants will learn to recognize the early physical warning signs of anger in their bodies. By identifying "hot spots" (muscle tension, racing heart, heat), they can intervene before their anger reaches a breaking point.
Discussion Prompts
• "What is the very first thing you notice in your body when you start to get annoyed? A clenched jaw? Tummy ache?"
• "Why do you think our bodies react to anger like it's a physical threat, even if it's just a text message?"
• "If your anger was a color or a texture, what would it look like in your chest? In your hands?"
Art Supplies
Body Outline Worksheet
Red/Orange/Yellow Pastels
Textured materials (sandpaper, wool)
Glue sticks
Markers
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Check-In (5 min)
"Ember Scale check-in. Where is your heat today? Last week we looked under the water. Today we look at the Fire in the Veins —the physical side of the ember."
2
The Scan (10 min)
Lead a brief body scan. Ask them to close their eyes and think of a mild frustration (not a 10/10).
"Start at your toes. Is there tension? Move to your stomach. Is it tight? Your chest? Your neck? Your hands—are they fists?"
3
Creative Alchemy: Mixed Media Body Maps (20 min)
The Activity: Distribute the body silhouette worksheets. Students use colors to show where they feel anger.
Use Red/Orange for heat or burning.
Use Sandpaper for "scratchy" or "irritated" feelings.
Use Wool/Soft yarn for areas that feel numb or heavy.
Draw "Lightning Bolts" for sharp pain or sudden heart rate increases.
4
The Warning Light (10 min)
"Identify your Early Warning Signal . Circle the one part of your map that starts glowing first. This is your body's Check Engine light. When you feel it, it's time for a strategy."
Fire Veins Body Map Worksheet Body Map
The Internal Heat Scan
Name:
Color & Texture Key
Burning / Intense Heat
Tingling / "Pins & Needles"
Tension / Tightness
Glue Space
Rough / Irritated (Sandpaper)
The Early Warning
Think about a time you started to get mad today. Where did it start? Put a STAR on the map where you feel it first.
"Your body is a smoke detector. It goes off before the fire starts."
Mapping Minefield Facilitator Guide Mapping the Minefield
Week 3: Identifying Triggers
Facilitator Guide
Session Objective
Participants will identify their external "hot zones" (people, places, situations) and internal "tripwires" (thoughts, memories). Identifying triggers allows for proactive planning rather than reactive explosion.
Discussion Prompts
• "What's one thing someone can say that makes you go from 0 to 100 immediately?"
• "Are there certain 'Islands' in your life where you feel safe and rarely get angry? What makes them different?"
• "How does knowing your 'minefield' help you navigate your day?"
Art Supplies
Large Sketching Paper
Fine-tip Black Pens
Colored Pencils
Stickers (Red dots/Stars)
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Check-In (5 min)
"Ember Scale check-in. Last week we looked at the body . Today we look at the map . Where are we walking when we step on a mine?"
2
Internal vs. External (10 min)
Explain the difference:External: "My brother taking my clothes," "A teacher's tone," "The cafeteria noise."Internal: "Feeling ignored," "Thinking I'm a failure," "Lack of sleep."
3
Creative Alchemy: Cartography of Calm (20 min)
The Activity: Students draw a literal map of their world.
Minefields: Red zones (specific places or people) that trigger anger.Tripwires: Thin lines representing small things that build up.Islands of Calm: Green zones where they feel safe/composed.The Bridge: How do they get from a Minefield back to an Island?
4
Debrief (10 min)
"Look at your map. If you know a Minefield is coming up (like a specific class), what can you pack in your 'survival kit' to stay cool?"
Mapping Minefield Worksheet Cartography of Calm
Mapping Your Triggers
Name:
Map Key Instructions
🌋 Volcanos: Your biggest external triggers (People/Places).💣 Mines: Small internal triggers (Thoughts/Memories).🏝️ Islands: Your safe spaces and calm activities.🛤️ Paths: How do you move from anger back to calm?
Terra Incognita
The Hot Zone
Which part of your map feels the most "dangerous" to walk through right now?
The Safe Harbor
What is one "Island" you want to visit more often this week?
A map doesn't just show you where the danger is; it shows you the way out.
Cooling Breath Facilitator Guide The Cooling Breath
Week 4: De-escalation Tools
Facilitator Guide
Session Objective
Participants will build a "physical" anchor for their coping strategies. By creating an Ember Box, they transition from identifying the problem to active self-regulation.
Discussion Prompts
• "What is the hardest thing about trying to 'calm down' in the moment?"
• "If you could put a 'pause button' on your life when you're angry, what would that look like?"
• "How can having something physical to touch or look at help your brain switch out of 'fight' mode?"
Art Supplies
Small wooden or cardboard boxes
Acrylic paints or Paint Pens
Index cards (Coping Cards)
Sensory items (fidgets, mints, tea bags)
Blue/White ribbons (The Cooling Breath)
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Check-In & Breathing (10 min)
"Ember Scale check-in. Today we focus on the Cooling Breath . When an ember gets too hot, we don't dump water on it (that makes it steam and hiss); we blow gently on it to control the heat."
Practice: 4-7-8 Breathing. Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale (whoosh sound) for 8.
2
The Tool: Ember Boxes (5 min)
"We are making personal 'Ember Boxes'. This is a physical space for your cooling tools. When you're at a 7 on the Ember Scale, you go to the box."
3
Creative Alchemy: Box Decoration (20 min)
The Activity: Students decorate the outside of their boxes.
The Outside: Should look like "Cooling Colors" (blues, greens, silver).The Inside: Write words of encouragement or reminders of peace.Coping Cards: On 3 index cards, write 3 specific things to do (e.g., "Text Maya", "Listen to 'Song X'", "Step outside").
4
Assembly (10 min)
Have them place their cards and sensory items in the box. "Your breath is the first tool, the box is the second. Both belong to you."
Cooling Breath Coping Cards Coping Cards
Emergency Response Tools
Week 4 Activity Sheet
Move the Heat
Physical De-escalation Action
Ex: Go for a 10 min walk, squeeze a stress ball 20 times.
Change the Channel
Mental Distraction Tool
Ex: Name 5 things you see, hear, and touch; Count backwards by 7.
Phone a Friend
Social Connection / Support
Ex: Text [Name], Call [Name], Send a funny meme to the group chat.
Soothe the Spark
Sensory Grounding Item
Ex: Hold a cold ice cube, spray lavender, drink cold water.
How to use these:
Fill in your personal strategies in the blank spaces.
Cut these out and decorate the back with your "Cooling Colors."
Place them inside your Ember Box .
When you feel your Early Warning Signal (Week 2), pick a card and follow it.
Finding Voice Facilitator Guide Finding Your Voice
Week 5: Assertive Communication
Facilitator Guide
Session Objective
Participants will differentiate between Aggressive, Passive, and Assertive communication. They will practice "I-Statements" to express needs clearly without escalating conflict.
Discussion Prompts
• "Why do we sometimes 'swallow' our anger until we explode? What happens then?"
• "Think of someone you know who is 'assertive'. How do they get what they want without hurting others?"
• "How does it feel to say 'I feel...' instead of 'You always...'?"
Art Supplies
Cardstock or Sturdy Paper
Fine-liners / Calligraphy Pens
Highlighters
Zentangle reference sheets
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Check-In (5 min)
"Ember Scale check-in. We've identified the heat, the triggers, and the cooling tools. Now, we learn to speak from the ember without burning the room down."
2
Communication Styles (10 min)
Briefly act out/describe:Aggressive: "You are so annoying, leave me alone!" (The explosion)Passive: "It's fine, I don't care." (The swallowing)Assertive: "I feel frustrated when you take my stuff, and I'd like you to ask first." (The Voice)
3
Creative Alchemy: I-Statement Typography (20 min)
The Activity: Students choose a conflict they are currently facing. They must draft an I-Statement.
Formula: I feel [emotion] when [behavior] because [impact]. I need [request].
Students then turn this statement into a piece of Typography Art . They write the statement in bold, creative lettering in the center and surround it with intricate "Zentangle" patterns to represent the calm they are maintaining while speaking.
4
Reflection (10 min)
"Look at your art. Notice how the 'I-Statement' is the anchor in the middle of all the noise. This is your voice. Practice saying it out loud to yourself."
Finding Voice Worksheet The Voice Lab
Assertive Communication Practice
Name:
Style The Goal AGGRESSIVE To win at any cost. "It's my way or the highway." PASSIVE To keep the peace. "Whatever you want is fine." ASSERTIVE To be understood and respect self/others. "I have a right to feel this."
The Formula
I feel
(Emotion)
when you
(The Specific Behavior)
because
(Impact/Reason)
I would like
(The Request)
Your Creative Mission
Once you've drafted your statement above, grab a fresh piece of cardstock. Use your best lettering to make the statement "POP" in the middle, then fill the rest of the page with patterns that represent your inner strength.
Drawing Line Facilitator Guide Drawing the Line
Week 6: Boundaries & Values
Facilitator Guide
Session Objective
Participants will explore the connection between anger and boundary violations. They will identify their non-negotiable "lines" and create a visual representation of their protection.
Discussion Prompts
• "What is one boundary you have that, when crossed, makes you feel instantly angry?"
• "Why is it sometimes scary to set a boundary? What are we afraid will happen?"
• "A boundary isn't a wall to keep people out; it's a gate to let the right things in. Do you agree?"
Art Supplies
Cardboard shield cutouts (or large paper)
Metallic markers
Magazine scraps (Values imagery)
Glue & Scissors
Duct tape (for handles)
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Check-In (5 min)
"Ember Scale check-in. Last week we used our voice. Today we use our Shield . Most anger is actually a response to someone stepping over a line they weren't invited to cross."
2
The Anatomy of a Boundary (10 min)
Explain the 3 layers:Soft: Boundaries that change (who you share secrets with).Rigid: Boundaries that never move (no physical touching without consent).Healthy: Boundaries based on self-respect.
3
Creative Alchemy: Boundary Shields (20 min)
The Activity: Students design a "Boundary Shield".
The Border: Write your "Hard Lines" around the edge.The Center: Use collage or symbols to represent what you are protecting (your peace, your dreams, your safety).The Color: Choose a color that feels "Strong" to you.
4
Closing (10 min)
"Your shield isn't an attack. It's a statement of your value. If someone gets mad at you for setting a boundary, they are likely the one who benefited from you not having one."
Drawing Line Worksheet Boundary Shield
Value Defense System
Name:
Around the Edge:
In the Center:
The Perimeter
List 3 "Hard Lines" (Things you won't tolerate):
The Heart
What is inside that is worth defending?
My peace
My privacy
My family
My future
Facilitator Note:
"Boundaries are NOT walls. They are bridges for those who respect you and barriers for those who don't."
Ashes Beauty Facilitator Guide Ashes to Beauty
Week 7: Forgiveness & Release
Facilitator Guide
Session Objective
Participants will explore the weight of carrying "old embers" (past hurts and grudges). They will engage in a ritual of release and reconstruction, learning that forgiveness is a gift they give to themselves , not the offender.
Discussion Prompts
• "Think of a grudge you've held for a long time. Where do you feel its weight in your daily life?"
• "Does staying angry at someone actually hurt them , or does it only keep you in the heat?"
• "What is the difference between forgiving someone and letting them back into your life?" (Crucial distinction)
Art Supplies
Tissue paper or thin paper
Large sheets of black cardstock
Liquid Glue / Glue sticks
Gold/Silver markers
Shredded paper (optional)
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Check-In (5 min)
"Ember Scale check-in. Today we talk about the Ashes . When fire burns through something, it leaves ashes. We can either choke on that dust or use it to grow something new."
2
The Ritual of Tearing (10 min)
Give each student a piece of tissue paper. Ask them to write down 1-3 things they are tired of carrying (grudges, self-hate, old fights).
"On the count of three, tear the paper into as many tiny pieces as you can. Feel the release."
3
Creative Alchemy: Reconstruction Collage (20 min)
The Activity: Students take those "shards" of their old anger and use them to create a beautiful collage on the black cardstock.
They shouldn't try to make it look like what it was. It should be a New Shape .
Use the metallic markers to draw "lines of light" connecting the pieces.
This represents taking the energy from past hurt and turning it into wisdom.
4
Reflection (10 min)
"Look at how the light (the gold lines) holds the broken pieces together. You aren't just 'fixed'; you are redesigned. Forgiveness is the glue."
Ashes Beauty Reflection Sheet The Release
Processing the Weight
Week 7 Reflection
What are you carrying?
Write down the words, names, or memories that feel like heavy "embers" in your pocket today. No one will read this but you.
TEAR
Destroy the hold it has on you. Break the pattern.
REBUILD
Take the pieces and make a new story. You decide the shape.
GLOW
Use your gold marker to find the beauty in the wisdom gained.
Refining the Ember
Complete the following statement after finishing your collage:
"I am letting go of not because they deserve it, but because I deserve ."
ASHES TO BEAUTY • ASHES TO BEAUTY
Glowing Forward Facilitator Guide Glowing Forward
Week 8: Celebration & Commitment
Final Session
Session Objective
Participants will consolidate their learning from the past 8 weeks. They will create a "Future Self Mosaic" that integrates their "broken" parts with their new tools, using the Kintsugi philosophy (beauty in repaired things).
Discussion Prompts
• "What is the biggest change you've noticed in your 'Ember Scale' over the last 2 months?"
• "Which art activity helped you 'speak' the most when you didn't have words?"
• "What is your 'Ember Promise' to your future self?"
Art Supplies
Mosaic Tiles or Glass Gems
Plaster or Thick Tacky Glue
Gold Paint / Gold Leaf
Small wooden panels
Celebration snacks!
Step-by-Step Facilitation
1
Final Check-In (5 min)
"Final Ember Scale check-in. We've gone from icebergs to body maps, from minefields to shields. Today, we Glow Forward ."
2
The Kintsugi Philosophy (10 min)
Explain the Japanese art of Kintsugi: repairing broken pottery with gold. "In this group, we haven't tried to act like the 'breaks' never happened. We've highlighted them with gold. Our anger has taught us our worth."
3
Creative Alchemy: Future Mosaic (20 min)
The Activity: Students create a small mosaic on a wooden panel.
Arrange tiles/gems in a pattern that feels "Whole" but shows the separate pieces.
Fill the gaps between tiles with gold paint or gold-tinted glue.
On the back of the panel, write their "Ember Promise" (e.g., "I promise to use my Cooling Breath when I'm at a 6").
4
Ceremonial Closing (10 min)
Go around the circle. Each girl shares one word for how she feels about herself now versus 8 weeks ago. "The fire didn't destroy you. It forged you."
Glowing Forward Reflection Sheet The Ember Promise
Legacy & Commitment
GOLD
Week 1 Self
"Back then, I handled my heat by..."
Week 8 Self
"Now, I know I am strong enough to..."
My Ember Promise
A promise to your future self. What will you do when the heat starts to rise? This is the "gold" that holds your pieces together.
I promise to...
Signed
You Are Forged.
You have successfully completed 8 weeks of Art of the Ember . You've built a toolbox of colors, patterns, and breath. Carry your Ember Box, your Shield, and your Voice with pride.
