Bridge Builders Co Mediation Toolkit
Bridge Builders Co-Mediation System
Two-Adult Facilitator Guide & Session Dialogue Script
Adult Facilitator Guide • Page 1
Co-Mediator Roles
Adult 1 (Lead Guide): Facilitates flow, introduces stages, asks reflective questions.
Adult 2 (Support & Scribe): Tracks body language, charts needs, records agreement terms.
Core Ground Rules
1. Mutual Respect
2. No Interruptions
3. Radical Honesty
4. Confidentiality
Step-by-Step Two-Adult Co-Mediation Script
Phase 1: Welcome & Setting the Neutral Container (Adult 1 & 2) 3-4 Min
Adult 1: "Welcome. We are your co-mediators today. Our role is strictly neutral—we are not here to judge, punish, or decide who is right or wrong. Our only goal is to help you hear each other clearly and build your own sustainable agreement."
Adult 2: "Everything shared here is confidential unless someone's safety is at risk. Do both of you voluntarily agree to participate and respect our ground rules?"
Phase 2: Narrative Sharing & Active Mirroring 6-8 Min
Adult 1: "Participant A, please share what occurred from your experience and how it impacted you. Participant B, please listen attentively without interrupting."
Adult 2 Reflects: "What we hear you expressing is that you felt [emotion] when [factual event] occurred. Did we capture that accurately?" (Then repeat with Participant B).
Phase 3: Uncovering Underlying Needs & Common Ground 4-5 Min
Adult 2: "Looking beyond what happened, both of you are expressing a need for [e.g., respect, clarity, boundaries, trust]. Let us frame the core challenge we are solving today."
Phase 4: Co-Created Solutions (Adult 1)
"What concrete proposals can both of you offer that are fair, realistic, and address these needs?"
Phase 5: Written Contract (Adult 2)
"Let us document the exact action steps, check-in timeline, and finalize our signed agreement."
Adult Neutrality Protocol
Avoid Imposing Solutions: Guide participants to generate their own repair plans rather than mandating adult fixes.
Equal Airtime Tracking: Adult 2 actively monitors and balances speaking turns and emotional pacing.
Tag-Team Support: If one mediator feels triggered or compromised, silently hand lead facilitation to the partner.
Bridge Builders Restorative Co-Mediation System • Adult Facilitator Protocol Form AP-1
Co-Mediation Intake & Case Assessment
Restorative Case History, Emotional Baseline & Pre-Session Log
Intake Form • Page 2
Date & Time:
Adult Mediator 1:
Adult Mediator 2:
Location / Room:
Participant A:
Participant B:
Conflict Classification (Facilitator Assessment)
Interpersonal Misunderstanding
Digital / Online Disruption
Peer Group Dynamics / Exclusion
Boundary Violation / Rumors
Resource / Space / Project Friction
Chronic Escalation / Teasing
Pre-Session Emotional Temperature & Readiness Facilitators observe & verify scale (1-10)
Participant A Emotional Level:
Regulated (1)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Volatile (10)
Participant B Emotional Level:
Regulated (1)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Volatile (10)
*If either participant scores ≥8, Adult 2 leads a 3-minute nervous system down-regulation protocol before joint dialogue.
Objective Incident Summary (Neutral, Factual Description by Adult 2):
Underlying Restorative Needs Identified (e.g., Autonomy, Psychological Safety, Recognition, Restitution):
Pre-Session Readiness Sign-Off:
Voluntary Consent
No Threat of Harm
Both Co-Mediators Aligned
Bridge Builders Restorative Co-Mediation System • Adult Intake Form AP-2
Restorative Resolution & Peace Agreement
Mutually Formulated Action Plan Facilitated by Adult Co-Mediators
Formal Agreement • Page 3
We, the undersigned participants, have engaged in adult-facilitated co-mediation and freely agree to the following commitments. We acknowledge that restoring trust requires sustained accountability and respectful communication.
A Specific Actions Participant A Commits to Take: Clear, actionable commitments
B Specific Actions Participant B Commits to Take: Clear, actionable commitments
Shared Agreement: How We Will Manage Friction Moving Forward:
Direct "I" statement
Agreed 24-hr space
Request facilitator check-in
Scheduled Follow-Up Review Date & Location:
Signatures of Commitment & Facilitation Verification
Participant A Signature: _______________________
Adult Co-Mediator 1 (Lead): ____________________
Participant B Signature: _______________________
Adult Co-Mediator 2 (Support): _________________
Bridge Builders Restorative Co-Mediation System • Restorative Contract Form AP-3
Co-Facilitator Field Guide
Tag-Team De-escalation, Reframing Matrix & Caucus Protocols
Facilitator Tool • Page 4
Two-Adult Tag-Team Mediation Strategies
1. Non-Verbal Signals
Use subtle pen taps or hand gestures to signal role handover or cooling-off pauses.
2. Split Caucus Protocol
If tempers flare, Adult 1 steps out with Party A while Adult 2 stays with Party B for 5 min.
3. Neutrality Backup
If one adult is perceived as biased, the partner gently steps in to re-anchor balance.
Facilitator Reframing Matrix: Blame → Needs
Participant Accuses: "They are toxic, manipulative, and trying to ruin my reputation!"
Adult Reframes: "So integrity, clear boundaries, and feeling secure in your reputation are essential to you."
Participant Accuses: "They completely ignore my input and act like I don't exist!"
Adult Reframes: "You value being acknowledged and having your voice heard in shared spaces."
Participant Accuses: "They violated our agreement and didn't follow through on their word!"
Adult Reframes: "Reliability and predictable follow-through are critical for you to rebuild trust."
4-Step Acute De-escalation Intervention
1. Vocal Deceleration: Facilitator lowers pitch and cuts speech tempo in half.
2. Somatic Grounding: "Feet flat on the floor, unclench hands, take a sip of water."
3. Structured Pause: Enforce 3-minute silence for reflective private notes.
4. Micro-Agreement: "Can we agree to discuss only the next 24 hours for now?"
Mandatory Administrative Termination Thresholds
Co-mediators must terminate dialogue immediately and notify Administration / Crisis Teams if: (1) Credible threats of physical violence or weapons, (2) Expressed self-harm or suicidal ideation, (3) Severe discrimination or Title IX / legal violations.
Co-Mediator 3-Minute Post-Debrief: 1. Balanced participation? [ ] 2. Unresolved tension noted? [ ] 3. Log filed in secure case archive? [ ]
Bridge Builders Restorative Co-Mediation System • Facilitator De-escalation Protocol AP-4
