Calm Compass Guide
Calm Compass Guide
Your toolkit for emotional regulation and grounding.
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Understanding Emotional Storms
Sometimes emotions can feel like a storm at sea—powerful, overwhelming, and difficult to navigate. This guide provides DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skills and grounding techniques to help you find your center, lower the intensity of your feelings, and stay present in the moment.
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Distress Tolerance: TIPP Skills
Use TIPP when you are at an "emotional 10"—when you feel like you might act impulsively or lose control.
Temperature
Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube. This triggers the "mammalian dive reflex," which naturally slows your heart rate.
Intense Exercise
Engage in short, high-intensity activity for 10–20 minutes. Run in place, do jumping jacks, or push against a wall to burn off stress energy.
Paced Breathing
Slow your breathing down. Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6 or 8 counts. Deep belly breathing sends a signal to your brain to relax.
Paired Muscle Relaxation
Tense a muscle group (like your shoulders) as hard as you can for 5 seconds, then release and notice the feeling of relaxation spreading.
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Self-Soothe with 5 Senses
Comfort yourself through your senses to lower emotional distress levels.
Vision: Look at a photo of a beautiful place, watch the clouds move, or look at a piece of art.
Hearing: Listen to soothing music, nature sounds, or the rhythmic sound of a clock ticking.
Smell: Light a candle, smell a fresh orange, or use a lotion with a scent you enjoy.
Taste: Sip a cup of hot tea slowly, or enjoy a piece of chocolate, focusing on every flavor.
Touch: Wrap yourself in a soft blanket, pet an animal, or feel the texture of a smooth stone.
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Emotion Regulation: PLEASE Skills
The PLEASE skill helps you reduce your emotional vulnerability by taking care of your physical body. When your body is healthy, it is much easier to manage your mind.
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Physical Illness
Treat physical illness. Take medicine as prescribed and see a doctor when needed.
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Eating
Balance your eating. Eat enough to feel satisfied and avoid foods that make you feel overly sluggish or hyper.
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Avoid Substances
Stay away from mood-altering drugs and alcohol, which can make emotions unpredictable.
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Sleep
Try to get 7–9 hours of sleep. Consistent sleep routines help regulate your mood cycles.
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Exercise
Get some form of movement daily. This helps build "emotional resilience" over time.
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Opposite Action
Every emotion has an "action urge." For example, fear makes us want to hide. Opposite Action means doing the exact opposite of what the emotion is telling you to do.
| Emotion | Action Urge | Opposite Action |
|---|
| Fear | Hide, avoid, escape | Approach, stay in the situation |
| Anger | Attack, yell, hit | Be kind, walk away, use a soft voice |
| Sadness | Withdraw, stay in bed | Get active, connect with others |
| Shame | Hide, apologize excessively | Go public, be proud of yourself |
Sensory Grounding: 5-4-3-2-1
This exercise helps bring your mind back into your body and the physical environment when you feel spaced out or anxious.
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Things you can SEE
Notice the small details: a pattern on the wall, the way light hits a leaf.
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Things you can FEEL
The texture of your clothes, the feet on the floor, the chair against your back.
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Things you can HEAR
Traffic in the distance, your own breath, the hum of electronics.
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Things you can SMELL
If you can't smell anything, name your two favorite scents.
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Thing you can TASTE
A lingering taste of coffee, or just the feeling of your tongue in your mouth.
Square Breathing
- Inhale for 4 counts.
- Hold for 4 counts.
- Exhale for 4 counts.
- Hold for 4 counts.
Repeat this cycle 4 times to reset your nervous system.
INHALE (4)
HOLD (4)
EXHALE (4)
HOLD (4)
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Relax your body to relax your mind. Work through each muscle group, tensing for 5 seconds and then relaxing for 10 seconds.
1 Feet: Curl your toes down tightly.
2 Calves: Pull toes toward knees.
3 Thighs: Squeeze leg muscles together.
4 Hands: Clench your fists.
5 Arms: Tense your biceps.
6 Shoulders: Shrug up to your ears.
7 Face: Scrunch your nose and eyes.
8 Whole Body: Tense everything at once.
Cognitive Grounding
When your thoughts are racing, use these mental games to "re-anchor" your brain.
The Category Game
Pick a category (e.g., dog breeds, sports teams, fruits) and name as many as you can in 1 minute.
Spell Backwards
Choose a long word like "Regulation" or "Grounding" and spell it backwards in your head.
Describe an Object
Pick an object in the room and describe it in extreme detail: color, shadow, texture, weight.
Emotional Defusion
Defusion techniques help you see your thoughts and feelings as just events in your mind, rather than absolute truths.
Labeling
Instead of saying "I am angry," try "I am noticing a feeling of anger." This creates space between you and the emotion.
Leaves on a Stream
Visualize a stream with leaves floating by. Place each thought or feeling on a leaf and watch it float away. Don't try to stop them—just watch them pass.
