Restorative Chat Script
Restorative Chat Script
Elementary Peer Conflict Facilitation Guide • Grades K–5
Goal: Repair, Not Blame
Step 0: Readiness & Regulation Check
Do not start while adrenaline is high. Ensure both students have regulated breathing, uncrossed defensive postures, and have agreed to speak.
Calm breathing
Safe, quiet space
Both agree to talk
1
Set Safety & Ground Rules
(1 minute)
Say
“We are here because you both matter, and our classroom community is stronger when we fix things when they hurt. We aren’t here to get anyone in trouble. We are here to understand what happened and fix the problem together.”
One voice at a time; no interrupting.
Speak with honesty and respect.
2
What Happened? (Perspective Sharing)
(2–3 minutes)
Ask Student A (or person most impacted first): Stick to facts
“[Name], can you tell us what happened from your point of view, starting from the beginning?”
Ask Student B: No interruptions
“Thank you for listening, [Name B]. Now tell us what happened from where you were sitting/standing.”
Facilitator Echo: Summarize without judgment: “So [A] felt surprised when the ball was taken, and [B] thought the game was open to everyone. Is that right?”
3
Explore Feelings & Impact
(2 minutes)
Inner Experience Prompt:
“What were you feeling in your body and your heart when this happened?” (Offer prompt cards if student struggles with emotion words: frustrated, left out, embarrassed, angry).
Empathy & Impact Prompt:
“When you look at [Name] right now, how do you think this made them feel? Who else felt the impact?”
Peace Builders Toolkit • Facilitator Guide Page 1 of 2 • Continue to Phase 4 & Repair
Restorative Chat Script (Continued)
Action & Repair Phase
4
Identify Needs & Repair
(2–3 minutes)
Need Assessment:
“What do you need right now to feel safe, respected, and ready to learn together again?”
Accountability & Repair Offer:
“What can you do right now to help make things right? What would help heal what got broken?”
Note: A forced “I’m sorry” does not repair. Guide students toward concrete actions (a sincere apology, re-doing a moment, replacing an item, asking before joining, giving space).
5
The Peace Agreement & Re-entry
(1–2 minutes)
Confirm the mutual agreement with clear, concrete wording:
“So our agreement is: [Student A] will ask before borrowing supplies, and [Student B] will say ‘not right now’ with a calm voice instead of yelling. Do you both agree?”
Seal with thumbs up, fist bump, or handshake Check back at end of day
Facilitator Lifelines (What to say when stuck)
When: “It wasn’t my fault! They started it!”
Pivot: “Right now we are not scoring points or deciding who started it. We are looking at our own choices. What was your part in what happened?”
When: A student shuts down, crosses arms, or won’t talk
Pivot: “I can see your body is still feeling overwhelmed. Take two slow belly breaths. Would you like to point to a feeling card first, or do you need 60 seconds of quiet?”
When: “I said sorry! Why are they still mad?”
Pivot: “Saying sorry is a great first step, but hurt feelings take time to heal. What action can we take next so [Name] knows you truly care about making it right?”
Peace Builders Toolkit • Facilitator Guide Page 2 of 2 • Pair with Peace Talk Prompt Cards
Peace Talk Prompt Cards
Peace Talk Prompt Cards
Student Reflection Cards • Use in restorative chats, calming corners, or circles
Cut along dashed lines or use as mat
Card 1 Tell My Story
What Happened?
Share only what you saw and did. Stick to the facts without blaming or name-calling.
Starter 1
“From my point of view, what happened was...”
Starter 2
“I was trying to... when suddenly...”
Starter 3
“The part I wish I had done differently is...”
My partner listens quietly without interrupting.
Card 2 Inside Feelings
How Did I Feel?
Notice what was happening in your body, mind, and feelings during that moment.
Starter 1
“In that moment, I felt really...”
Starter 2
“In my body, I noticed my... (heart / stomach / fists)”
Starter 3
“What I really wanted was to feel...”
All feelings are okay; not all actions are okay.
Card 3 Empathy & Impact
Who Was Affected?
Think about how your words or actions made other people feel and affected the group.
Starter 1
“Now I understand that [Name] felt...”
Starter 2
“This also affected our classmates because...”
Starter 3
“I didn’t realize it at the time, but...”
Looking at someone helps me understand their heart.
Card 4 Repair & Action
How Can We Fix It?
Work together on real actions to heal the relationship and help everyone feel safe.
Starter 1
“To help make this right, right now I can...”
Starter 2
“What I need from you right now is...”
Starter 3
“Next time we are in this situation, I promise to...”
A real apology includes fixing what was harmed.
Peace Builders Toolkit • Student Prompt Cards Page 1 of 2 • Four Core Talk Cards
Feelings, Needs & Repair Menu
Point to these words if you are having trouble finding the right words to say
Helper Mat
1. Feeling Words (Point to 1 or 2)
😤 Frustrated
🥺 Left Out
😳 Embarrassed
😡 Angry / Mad
😢 Hurt / Sad
🤷 Misunderstood
😰 Worried / Scared
🌱 Ready to Fix It
2. What Do I Need Right Now?
A few quiet minutes
A sincere, quiet apology
To be invited to play
Someone to listen to me
A do-over / fresh start
My boundaries respected
3. Action Ideas to Make It Right
A Do-Over: Re-enter the game or conversation asking respectfully.
B Restitution: Clean up, fix, or replace what was broken or knocked down.
C Space Agreement: Politely give each other space for the rest of recess.
D Kind Note / Gesture: Write a 2-sentence note or draw a picture of repair.
Our Peace Promise (Fill out or verbalize together) Agreement
Student A: I agree to __________________________________________________________________
Student B: I agree to __________________________________________________________________
Student A Signature: ______________________ Student B Signature: ______________________
Peace Builders Toolkit • Student Prompt Cards Page 2 of 2 • Feelings, Needs, & Peace Promise
