Friendship Detectives Lesson Plan
Mission Briefing
Case: Friendship Detectives
Classification
Top Secret Kindness
Duration
30 Minutes
Target Audience
3rd Grade Students
Approach
Interactive Scenarios
Mission Objective
Students will learn to recognize subtle forms of relational aggression (like exclusion or gossip) and practice positive responses to support kindness in friendships.
Why This Matters
Relational aggression can harm students’ self-esteem and peer relationships. Teaching them to spot and address these behaviors builds empathy, resilience, and a safer classroom community.
Field Prep
- Print/cut Scenario Cards (1 set per pair)
- Copies of Reflection Worksheet (1 per student)
- 2 Chart Paper sheets (labeled "What is RA?" and "How to Respond")
- Markers and Timer
Operation Timeline
4 MIN
Introduction & Hook
- Welcome students to the "Friendship Detective Agency."
- Ask: "What makes a good friend?" Record answers on chart paper.
- Explain: We'll learn about "sneaky" ways friendships can be hurt and how to help.
5 MIN
Define Relational Aggression
- Definition: Subtle behaviors aimed at harming someone's social relationships (exclusion, gossip).
- Overt vs. Relational: Contrast physical (pushing) vs. social (whispering rumors).
- Add student examples to "What Is Relational Aggression?" chart.
8 MIN
Scenario Analysis (Pairs)
- Distribute 2–3 Scenario Cards to each pair.
- Task: Read, decide if it's relational aggression, and discuss why.
- Prompt: "How might you feel if this happened to you?"
5 MIN
Group Intelligence Sharing
- Invite pairs to share one scenario with the class.
- Discuss: "Is it relational aggression? How could someone respond kindly?"
- Record kind actions on the "How to Respond" chart.
5 MIN
Independent Reflection
- Students complete Reflection Worksheet prompts.
- Focus on a time they saw RA and planning a supportive response.
3 MIN
Closing & Takeaway
- Summarize: Spotting the behavior and choosing kindness.
- Action Step: Each student shares one action they'll take this week.
Friendship Detectives Slides
Friendship Detectives
Becoming Friendship Detectives to Spot and Stop Relational Aggression
Mission Start // Grade 3
What Makes a Good Friend?
Listen well
Include others
Speak kindly
Help when someone is sad
What other qualities
can you think of?
What Is Relational Aggression?
Subtle behaviors that hurt someone’s relationships or feelings.
Excluding
Leaving someone out of a game or group on purpose.
Gossip
Spreading rumors or mean secrets about others.
Whispering
Talking about someone right in front of them.
Spotting the Difference
Overt (Easy to See)
Pushing or hitting
Yelling mean things
Relational (Sneaky)
Excluding a friend
Whispering rumors
Case Study Time
1
Pair Up
Grab 2–3 scenario cards with your partner.
2
Analyze
Decide: Is this relational aggression? Why or why not?
3
Discuss
Talk about how the person in the story would feel.
How to Respond
Invite the person to join
Speak up in a kind way
Tell a trusted adult
Offer help and support
Reflection Time
On your worksheet:
1. Describe a time you saw RA
2. Write one kind response
Think quietly and write down your thoughts.
Friendship Heroes!
Detectives look out for each other. What’s one action you’ll take this week to support a friend?
Mission Accomplished
Friendship Detectives Reflection Worksheet
Friendship Detectives
Official Case Reflection Log
Agent Name:
Mission Date:
1. Evidence Gathering: Relational Aggression
Think of a time when you saw someone being excluded, whispered about, or left out. Describe what happened and how it might have made that person feel.
2. Mission Plan: A Kind Response
What could you say or do to help the person who was being hurt? Write one thing you could say and one action you could take.
SAY:
DO:
3. The Detective Pledge
What is one thing you will do this week to support a friend and keep our classroom a kind place?
"I promise to look out for my fellow detectives by..."
Signed by Lead Detective
Friendship Detectives Scenario Cards
Case Evidence: Scenario Cards
Mission: Analyze the Evidence & Determine the Type of Aggression
Instructions for Pairs
- Cut out the cards below along the dotted lines.
- Read each scenario carefully.
- Discuss: Is this relational aggression? Why or why not?
- Talk about how the person would feel and what a kind detective could do to help.
Case #001
Excluded from the Game
A group of friends is playing tag at recess. They whisper to each other, “Let’s leave Sam out—he’s not fast enough.” When Sam asks to join, they say, “Sorry, we already have enough players.”
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File
Case #002
Whispered Secrets
During reading time, Maya and Luis whisper together and giggle whenever Alex walks by. Alex feels like they’re talking about him.
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File
Case #003
Rumor Spreading
Charlie tells everyone that Emma cheated on a math game last week—even though it’s not true. Soon, many kids avoid Emma.
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File
Case #004
Caught in the Cold
At lunchtime, a group of friends sits together. When Tony walks over, they all turn their backs and keep talking, not inviting him to sit.
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File
Case #005
Secret Club
Jenna and her friends create a “No Boys Allowed” club for their dolls. They laugh when Owen asks to play with them.
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File
Case #006
Mean Notes
A note is passed around that says, “Don’t talk to Riley—she’s boring.” Soon, no one includes Riley at centers.
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File
Case #007
Eye-Rolling
Whenever Sofia speaks in class, two classmates roll their eyes and whisper to each other. Sofia feels embarrassed.
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File
Case #008
Better Friends Only
During art time, Kai’s group tells Hana, “You can’t sit with us unless you draw like we do.” Hana sits alone.
Friendship Detective Agency Evidence File