N Negotiate: Alternate Plan B
Pivot when met with resistance.
If the other person says an absolute "No" to your primary assert ask, what is a realistic, acceptable compromise (Plan B) you can suggest?
Draft your compromise option here... (E.g., "If Friday is too late, can I submit my work by Thursday evening for a 5-point deduction?")
PEER-REVIEW RUNTIME
Partner with a classmate. Read your compiled D-E-A-R script aloud. Have your partner evaluate your flow, assertiveness, and tone.
D - Facts Clear? Y / N
E - Avoid Blame? Y / N
A - Clear Request? Y / N
R - Mutual Gain? Y / N
PEER SIGNATURE: _____________________________ READY FOR DEPLOYMENT
DRAFTBOARD V1.0
DBT SKILLS TRAINING COHORT
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#05
Mission: Friendship
Context: Your close friend, Leo, keeps asking to "borrow" your completed history homework. You worked for hours on it, and you're worried about getting caught for academic cheating.
Role Guidelines:
Student: Say "No" clearly (Assert). Offer to explain concepts (Negotiate). Peer (Friend): Complain about being tired, say "you don't trust me," and beg.
#06
Mission: Boundaries
Context: Your friend group wants to sneak out of an evening school event to go to an unmonitored party. You want to stay, but they are calling you a "buzzkill" and teasing you.
Role Guidelines:
Student: Stay Mindful (use Broken Record: "I'm staying here"). Peer (Group): Mock the rules, laugh, say "everyone is going," try to peer pressure.
#07
Mission: Collaboration
Context: You are paired with a classmate, Marcus, for a chemistry project. Marcus has not contributed to the shared slides and is playing games on his laptop during work periods.
Role Guidelines:
Student: Describe the lack of slides. Assert clear, assigned deadlines. Peer (Marcus): Make excuses (stress, busy), try to put off working until "tonight."
#08
Mission: Personal
Context: Your friend, Chloe, heard a rumor about you and repeated it to several people in your lunch group. It's causing awkwardness, and you need to address it directly.
Role Guidelines:
Student: State the facts of what Chloe said. Express your hurt/disappoint. Peer (Chloe): Get defensive, say "it was just a joke," claim others said it first.
DEAR MAN ROLE-PLAY DECK
COMPLETED SCENARIOS VERIFIED
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CURRICULUM MODULE: INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
CONTINUE TO PAGE 2 FOR EXEMPLARY ANSWER KEYS
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Use these scripted benchmarks to guide student feedback, grading, and direct modeling.
SET: EX-01-A
Exemplar 01
Focus: High-risk negotiation with a strict, busy adult. Balancing objective facts with respect.
D - Describe:
"Mr. Harrison, the final draft of our biology lab report is due today at 3:00 PM."
E - Express:
"I'm feeling really stressed because I had an unexpected double work shift last night and couldn't run my final spell check."
A - Assert:
"I would like to ask if I can submit my report tomorrow morning before class begins."
R - Reinforce:
"If you grant this, I can submit a cleaner, fully edited paper which will make grading easier and faster for you."
M - Mindful:
(If Mr. Harrison says "No late work"): "I understand you have a strict policy, but I still want to turn in high-quality work. Can we look at an alternative?"
N - Negotiate:
"If tomorrow is impossible, could I email it to you by 6:00 PM tonight for a 10% penalty instead of a zero?"
Exemplar 02
Focus: Saying "no" to a close friend. Preserving the relationship while firmly refusing a risk.
D - Describe:
"Leo, you asked to borrow my history homework packet so you can copy the answers before third period."
E - Express:
"I feel highly anxious about that because Mrs. Gable checks for plagiarism, and we could both get suspended and lose credit."
A - Assert:
"I cannot let you copy my packet."
R - Reinforce:
"This way, both of our grades remain safe, and we don't risk getting in trouble with the office."
M - Mindful:
(If Leo calls you selfish): "I care about our friendship, but I am still not going to share my answers." (Broken Record)
N - Negotiate:
"I'm happy to sit with you right now for 10 minutes and explain the answers to questions 3 and 4 so you can write your own."
Conclude the class with these 3 check-for-understanding questions:
TEACHER METHODOLOGY CORE
CURRICULUM VERIFICATION COMPLETE
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N Negotiate
[ OBJECTIVE: SYSTEMATIC CLARITY ]
[ INSTRUCTIONAL SLIDE 3 OF 7 ]
MODULE 03 // THE SCRIPT
SYS_REF: WRITING_PHASE
STAGE ONE
FOUR-STEP FLOW
D
Stick to objective facts. Avoid judgment or exaggeration. "We agreed to study, but you arrived 30 minutes late."
E
Use "I" statements. Don't blame or say "You made me feel...". "I felt anxious because our study session was cut short."
A
State clearly and directly what you want or need. No hinting. "Next time, I need you to text me if you're running late."
R
Explain the positive results of meeting your request. "That way, we can make the most of our shared study time."
[ ACTION: SCRIPT SPECIFICATION DRAFTED ]
[ INSTRUCTIONAL SLIDE 4 OF 7 ]
MODULE 04 // THE DELIVERY
SYS_REF: REGULATION_STATE
STAGE TWO
THREE BEHAVIOR CONTROLS
M
Keep your focus on your goal. Ignore baiting, side-topics, or defensive comments. Stay on track.
TECHNIQUE: BROKEN RECORD
A
Maintain steady eye contact. Keep a calm, clear voice volume. Sit or stand comfortably tall.
TECHNIQUE: GROUNDED POSTURE
N
Be willing to compromise. Offer alternative suggestions that still respect your foundational boundaries.
TECHNIQUE: COOPERATIVE FLEX
[ REGULATION: EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE STABLE ]
[ INSTRUCTIONAL SLIDE 5 OF 7 ]
MODULE 05 // COMPARISON
SYS_REF: SIMULATION_RUN
THE SYSTEM IN ACTION
UNOPTIMIZED STATEMENT
"You never grade things on time anyway, so why can't you just let me turn this in late? It's not fair."
Result: Triggers defensiveness, clouds the actual issue, and damages trust.
DEAR MAN PROTOCOL APPROVED
[D] "The project is due tomorrow, and I missed two classes due to fever."
[E] "I feel worried about getting a low grade on this major topic."
[A] "I'm asking if I can submit it on Friday with no penalty."
[R] "This will let me submit quality work that meets all specifications."
Result: Focuses strictly on facts, keeps tone respectful, and optimizes outcomes.
[ CASE: ACADEMIC SELF-ADVOCACY SCENARIO ]
[ INSTRUCTIONAL SLIDE 6 OF 7 ]
MODULE 06 // APPLICATION
SYS_REF: DRAFT_EXECUTE
LAB ACTIVITY
Open your Speak Up Script Worksheet. We are going to construct your custom self-advocacy blueprint.
01
Choose a peer conflict, boundary setting, or a request you need to make to an adult.
02
Fill in the grid-lined blueprint boxes on page 1 and page 2 of your draftboard worksheet.
03
Use your Scenario Cards to role-play. Keep the MAN delivery controls locked in.
Focus on isolating Facts from Interpretations. If it cannot be recorded by a camera, it is an opinion, not a fact!
STATUS: ACTIVE_DRAFTING
[ PROTOCOL: LIVE PRACTICE MODULES ACTIVE ]
[ INSTRUCTIONAL SLIDE 7 OF 7 ]