Cool Heads Slides 6th Grade SEL • Communication
Cool Heads Talk
How to speak up, stand your ground, and stay cool when anger hits.
Assertive vs. Aggressive Styles
Slide 1 of 6
The Spark Slide 2 of 6
Picture This... 💥
"Your classmate borrows your favorite brand-new gel pens. When they hand them back, three of them are completely out of ink and one has a cracked cap."
Your heart beats faster. You feel a surge of anger.
Class Discussion
What is the very first thought that pops into your head?
Share your immediate reaction with a partner.
Do you erupt, stay silent, or stand your ground?
The Three Paths Slide 3 of 6
How Do We React?
Three different styles of expressing anger.
1. Passive
Hiding your anger, staying silent, and letting others ignore your boundaries.
"It's... fine. Don't worry."
2. Aggressive
Attacking, shouting, blaming, or using threats to make yourself heard.
"You always ruin my things!"
3. Assertive
Speaking calmly, naming your feelings clearly, and setting firm boundaries.
"I'm upset the pens are ruined."
Goal: Assertive is our superpower. It respects both you AND others.
Spot the Style Slide 4 of 6
Who Said It? 🤔
Match the response to the correct style. Think about the impact of each style on a friendship.
The Scene:
A partner leaves you to do all the work on your social studies project.
A
"Whatever, I'll just do it all myself. It's not a big deal anyway."
Style: Passive
B
"You are so lazy! You always ruin my grade. Get to work right now!"
Style: Aggressive
C
"I'm feeling overwhelmed because I'm doing all the research. Can we split the slides?"
Style: Assertive
Notice how Option C is clear, direct, and non-accusatory.
The Formula Slide 5 of 6
The "I-Statement" Tool
Your formula to construct assertive, calm feedback.
1. The Feeling
I feel...
[Name your emotion: mad, hurt, left out]
2. The Trigger
when you...
[Describe what happened specifically]
3. The Reason
because...
[Explain why it affected you]
4. The Request
can we...
[Suggest a cool, clear solution]
Example: "I feel frustrated when you use my pens without asking because they ran out of ink. Can we agree to ask first next time?"
Using "I" instead of "You" keeps the other person from getting defensive!
Your Turn Slide 6 of 6
The Cool Heads Challenge!
Open your Cool Heads Worksheet . Use the 4-step I-Statement formula to rewrite aggressive statements into calm, assertive talk.
Work with your elbow partner to conquer Scenarios 1 & 2!
Quick Tips
• Keep your voice even and strong.
• Make direct eye contact.
• Focus on the action, not the person.
Ready, set, converse!
Cool Heads Worksheet Cool Heads Talk • Student Activity
Cool Heads Worksheet
Name:
Date:
Quick Decoder Guide
Passive Hiding feelings, staying silent, letting others cross your boundaries.
Aggressive Blaming, shouting, using sarcasm, or attacking to get your way.
Assertive Speaking calmly, naming feelings, and suggesting a fair solution.
1
The Style Decoder
Read the scenario below, then read the three student responses. Write whether each response is Passive , Aggressive , or Assertive .
The Scenario
You shared a secret with a classmate you trusted, and the next day you find out they told several other kids at lunch. You feel completely betrayed and embarrassed.
A
"You are such a snake! I can't believe I trusted you. You ruin everything and nobody should ever tell you anything!"
Communication Style:
B
"I'm feeling hurt and embarrassed because my secret was shared. Can we agree to keep our private talks between us?"
Communication Style:
C
(Walking by them silently, looking at the floor, thinking to yourself: "It doesn't matter anyway. I just won't talk to anyone ever again.")
Communication Style:
Turn page for the Assertive Makeover Challenge Page 1 of 2
Cool Heads Talk • Student Activity Name: ______________________
The "I-Statement" Blueprint
I feel [emotion] when you [action/behavior] because [impact]. Next time, can we [request/solution]?
2
Assertive Makeover Challenge
Now it's your turn to be the communication doctor. Read the problematic responses below, and rewrite them into a cool, assertive I-Statement .
Scenario 1 • Aggressive Statement Aggressive
"Your partner for a science lab is using their phone and doing zero work. You snap and yell: 'You are so lazy! Get off your phone and do some actual work, or I'm telling the teacher!'"
Your Assertive Remake:
Scenario 2 • Passive Statement Passive
"Your sister borrows your favorite sweater and gets a huge soda stain on the front. She hands it back without saying anything. You say nothing to her, but silently steam and slam doors in your room."
Your Assertive Remake:
Stand up, speak clearly, stay cool. Page 2 of 2
Cool Heads Teacher Guide Teacher Resource • SEL 6th Grade
Cool Heads Talk
Pacing Guide 45-50 Mins
Learning Objective
Students will be able to distinguish between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication styles and apply the 4-step "I-Statement" formula to resolve simulated peer-to-peer conflicts.
Classroom Readiness
Prepare the Cool Heads Slides , print copies of the Cool Heads Worksheet (one per student), and optionally print the scenario prompt cards below for classroom roleplay.
Step-by-Step Facilitation Plan
01
Hook & Scenario (5 Mins)
Show Slide 2 (The Spark). Have students share their first reaction to a friend ruining their pens. Highlight how quick we are to jump to an extreme feeling of anger.
02
Concept Delivery (15 Mins)
Use Slide 3 to define Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive. Use the physical metaphors (Passive = The Rug, Aggressive = The Volcano, Assertive = The Anchor). Use Slide 4 to practice identifying responses collectively.
03
The Formula Mastery (10 Mins)
Introduce Slide 5 (I-Statement Formula). Explain *why* "I" keeps defenses down compared to accusatory "You" phrases. Walk through the example step by step with the class.
04
Independent/Partner Practice (15 Mins)
Distribute the worksheets. Have students complete Page 1 independently, then partner up to brainstorm and rewrite Page 2 (Assertive Makeover).
05
Reflection & Wrap-Up (5 Mins)
Invite 2-3 pairs to share their "Assertive Makeover" statement. Ask: "Which communication style takes the most practice and energy? Why?"
Worksheet Answer Guide
Part 1 Style Decoder: Response A = Aggressive • Response B = Assertive • Response C = Passive
Part 2 Makeover Suggestions:
Scenario 1: "I feel overwhelmed when you use your phone during labs because we have a lot of work to finish. Next time, can we divide up the tasks?"Scenario 2: "I feel frustrated when you borrow my sweater and get a stain on it because it's new. Next time, can you let me know so we can wash it?"
For professional classroom use. Do not distribute answers directly to students. Page 1 of 1
