Social Map Facilitator Guide Facilitator Map Guide
Communication, Aggression & Supports
Session 1
00-15: Kick-off: Social Remote & Coffee15-35: Psychoed: The Needs Framework35-50: Practice: Identification Key50-60: Topic: What are Triggers?
Session 2
00-10: Review: The Needs Combo10-30: Deep Dive: Cooling the 'Fire'30-50: Roleplay Scenarios Activity50-60: Commitment & Feedback
Kick-off Hooks
The Remote: Which button (Mute, Rewind, Pause, Skip) would you use in a social storm? Discuss: skipping awkwardness vs. pausing for control.
The Coffee: Black coffee instead of cream. Do you swallow it (Passive), Yell (Aggressive), or ask clearly (Assertive)?
The Needs Framework
Passive
Other > Me. Lack of Self. Lose your voice out of fear.
Assertive
The Combo . Me = Other. Both needs are equal.
Aggressive
Me > Other. Lack of Respect. Force others to get way.
Identification Key
Legend: Ag (Aggressive), A (Assertive), P (Passive)
1. Yelling "Just shut up!" Ag
6. "I'm on a strict budget." A
2. Looking at floor in line. P
7. Calling someone "idiot". Ag
3. "I feel frustrated..." A
8. "Need to talk rules." A
4. Lending $ out of fear. P
9. Silence in triggers. P
5. Threatening behavior. Ag
10. Intimidating volume. Ag
Session 2 Reference
Understanding Triggers
A Trigger is any internal or external cue that sparks an intense emotional reaction. When we are triggered, our brain enters survival mode (The Red Zone), making Aggression or Passivity more likely.
Physical Signs
Mental Scripts
People/Places
Roleplay Activity Answers
Med Error (Staff): "I noticed my dose was missed. I'd like to receive it now please."
Past Mistake (Family): "I'm focused on today. Let's talk about the present instead."
Trigger Spot (Friend): "I appreciate the invite, but bars are too risky for me right now."
Noisy Neighbor (Peer): "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Would you mind using headphones?"
Unfair Chore (Staff): "I feel frustrated being assigned extra duty for others' mistakes."
*Refer to 'Roleplay Compass Cards' material for printable scenarios and 12 total scripts.
Cooling Down Toolset
Physical Tools
Square Breathing: resets nervous system.
Grounding: 5-4-3-2-1 items to pull focus back.
Mental Tools
10-Min Time-Out: engaging the logical brain.
Self-Talk: "I am in control. I can handle this calmly."
Behavior Decoder Worksheet Communication Cheat Sheet
Social Map: Needs & Hooks
Name:
Date:
The Social Remote
"If you had a remote for social situations, which button would you use most: Mute , Rewind , Pause , or Skip ?"
The Bitter Hook
"You order coffee with cream, but get it black. Do you stay quiet , yell , or ask for cream ?"
The Needs Framework
Communication is about balancing your needs and the other person's needs . Assertiveness isn't a choice between the two—it's the combo.
PASSIVE
Other > Me
Lack of Self: You focus entirely on their needs and lose your own voice out of fear.
ASSERTIVE
Me = Other
The Combo: Respecting yourself and the other person equally. A healthy balance.
AGGRESSIVE
Me > Other
Lack of Respect: Focusing only on your needs. Using force to get your way.
Cooling Down Skills
Square Breathing: Inhale 4s, Hold 4s, Exhale 4s, Hold 4s. Resets the physical 'fire'.
10-Min Time-Out: Step away. Allow the 'Red Zone' chemicals to leave your brain.
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: Name things you see, touch, and hear to engage the logical mind.
Positive Self-Talk: Say "I can handle this calmly" or "This feeling is temporary."
"Aggression makes people listen to your anger. Assertiveness makes people listen to your needs."
Behavior Decoder
Practice & Trigger Identification
Identify the Style (P, A, or Ag)
1. Yelling "Just shut up and do what I said!" during a fight.
2. Looking at the floor when someone cuts in front.
3. "I feel frustrated when you're late. Please text me."
4. Agreeing to lend $ you don't have out of fear.
5. Threatening someone if you don't get your way.
6. "I cannot lend money. I'm on a strict budget."
7. Calling someone an "idiot" when they fail.
8. "I need to talk about house rules for 10 mins."
9. Silence when friend asks to go to triggers.
10. Standing over someone and yelling for a result.
Managing Aggression & Triggers
Social Map Slides Social Map
Communication & Supports
The Social Remote
If you had a remote control for every conversation, which button would you use most?
Mute
Rewind
Pause
Skip
The Bitter Coffee
You order a coffee with cream. They hand it to you black.
Passive
Say nothing. Drink it bitter. Feel angry inside all day.
Aggressive
Yell at the barista. Demand a manager. Throw the cup.
Assertive
"Excuse me, I asked for cream. Could you add some please?"
Concept
The Needs Framework
Passive
Your Needs > My Needs
Lack of self. Putting others first out of fear or silence.
Assertive
My Needs = Your Needs
The Combo. Respecting yourself AND others equally.
Aggressive
My Needs > Your Needs
Lack of respect. Using force to get what you want.
Identify the Style (1-10)
1. Yelling "Just shut up!" in a fight.
?
2. Looking at floor when cut in line.
?
3. "I feel frustrated when you're late."
?
4. Lending $ you don't have.
?
5. Threatening to make things hard.
?
6. "I'm sticking to a strict budget."
?
7. Calling someone "idiot" or "loser".
?
8. "I need to talk about house rules."
?
9. Silence when friend triggers you.
?
10. Intimidating voice/standing over.
?
Practice Answer Key
1. Aggressive
2. Passive
3. Assertive
4. Passive
5. Aggressive
6. Assertive
7. Aggressive
8. Assertive
9. Passive
10. Aggressive
Part 2 Activity
Roleplay Challenge
Family Stress
"A relative brings up a mistake you made years ago. You feel the 'Red Zone' heart rate rising. You want to snap at them."
Step 1: Coping Skill?
Step 2: Assertive Script?
The Assertive Path
Roleplay Compass Cards Communication Roleplay Cards
Social Map: Real-World Practice
Icebreaker Tip: Have participants share which 'Social Remote' button they'd use for these scenarios.
STAFF
The Med Error
Staff forgot your dose. You feel anxious and need them to fix it right now.
Assertive Answer:
"Excuse me, I noticed my dose was missed. I'd like to receive it now please."
FAMILY
The Past Mistake
A relative brings up a mistake from years ago. You want to talk about today.
Assertive Answer:
"I'm focused on my progress today. I'd appreciate if we talk about the present instead."
FRIEND
The Trigger Spot
A friend wants to go to a bar "just for music." You know this is a trigger. Say no.
Assertive Answer:
"I appreciate the invite, but bars are too risky for me. Let's do a movie later."
STAFF
The Unfair Chore
Assigned extra duty for others' mistakes. You feel this is unfair.
Assertive Answer:
"I feel frustrated being assigned chores for others' errors. Can we talk about this?"
FRIEND
The Loan Request
A friend asks for $20. You only have $25 and they never pay you back.
Assertive Answer:
"I can't lend you the $20 right now. I only have enough for my own needs."
FAMILY
The Busy Phone
Family calls multiple times during group. You need space and focus.
Assertive Answer:
"I value our calls, but I need to focus on group. Can we talk only after 5 PM?"
Conflict Cards
Coping With the "Red Zone"
PEER
The Noisy Neighbor
Loud music at 11 PM. Your heart is racing and you want to scream.
Answer: Time-Out First
"I'm trying to sleep. Would you mind turning it down or using headphones?"
STAFF
The Denied Pass
Staff denies your weekend pass unfairly. You want to throw something.
Answer: Breathe First
"I'm disappointed. I'd like to understand the reason so I can fix it."
PEER PRESSURE
The Old Habits
An old friend brings drugs by and calls you "weak" for staying clean.
Answer: Grounding First
"I'm not weak for choosing recovery. Please don't bring those around me."
FAMILY
The Risky Dinner
