Harm to Harmony

Facilitator Script • Opening Ceremony & Agreements

"Welcome, everyone, to our circle. When we step into this ring, we step out of judgment and into shared responsibility. Let us sound our opening chime and take three slow, grounding breaths together. Inhale safety... exhale tension. (Sound chime). In this space, we agree to honor the talking piece, speak from our hearts, listen with compassion, keep what is shared confidential, and remember that everyone has the right to pass until they are ready."

Circle Facilitator Guide • Harm to Harmony Page 1 of 2

Restorative Dialogue Execution

Prompt Sequencing & Facilitation Protocol

Section 2: Practice & Guidance

Round 1: What happened? (Objective Observations) Facts Only

Prompt: "Without insulting words or blame, describe what you saw, heard, or experienced." Coach note: If a student says "She was being mean," ask: "What specific action did you see or hear?"

Round 2: What were you thinking & feeling at that moment? Drivers

Prompt: "Think back to that exact second before things flared. What feeling was rising inside you?" Coach note: Offer feeling words beyond "mad" (embarrassed, ignored, worried, overwhelmed).

Round 3: Who has been affected by what occurred, and how? Impact

Prompt: "Harm is never isolated. Who felt the ripple effect — your peer, friends, the class, yourself?" Coach note: Validate that realizing one's impact takes courage, not defeat.

Round 4: What has been the hardest thing about this situation? Vulnerability

Prompt: "What part of this has felt heaviest on your heart or hardest to carry?" Coach note: This is the turning point where defensive armor drops and shared empathy appears.

Round 5: What needs to happen to repair the harm and restore trust? Repair Action

Prompt: "Beyond saying 'sorry,' what concrete action or boundary is needed to rebuild peace?" Coach note: Both students must mutually accept the remedy without coercion.

Facilitator Troubleshooting Matrix

Refusal to Speak / Passes Piece Never force. State: "Thank you for holding the piece. We honor your pause and will check back later." Often they speak once trust settles.

Defensive Blaming / Accusations Point to the agreements: "Let's remember our 'I' statements. Tell us your direct experience rather than what you think the other person did."

Emotional Flooding or Tears Pause the talking piece: "Tears mean we care deeply. Let's all take one synchronized breath together." Keep space calm; avoid rushed comforting.

Side Chatter or Eye Rolling Gently ring the chime: "The circle relies on undivided presence. When one person holds the piece, all eyes and attention belong to them."

48-Hour Accountability Check-In

Agreements are only as strong as their follow-through. Collect students' Conflict Repair Reflection Sheets. Schedule a 2-minute private check-in with both parties within 48 hours: "Did your agreed repair action occur? How is the environment between you feeling now?" Reinforce positive effort with specific praise.

Circle Facilitator Guide • Harm to Harmony Page 2 of 2

Circle Question: Who experienced the ripple effect beyond Marcus and Dev? How can they repair community peace?

Circle Discussion & Scenario Cards • Harm to Harmony Page 1 of 2

Harm to Harmony • Restorative Dialogue Tools

The 5 Restorative Question Cards & Sentence Stems

Hand to students during circle rounds

The Five Restorative Question Cards

1 What happened?

Goal: Objective, non-blaming facts.
Helpful Stem: "What I saw or experienced was..."
Caution: Avoid "He always..." or "She was being mean."

2 What were you thinking & feeling?

Goal: Uncover the emotional trigger.
Helpful Stem: "At that exact second, I felt... because I was worried that..."

3 Who has been affected, and how?

Goal: Map the ripple effects.
Helpful Stem: "I realize this made [Name] feel... and our class environment feel..."

4 What has been the hardest thing?

Goal: Share authentic vulnerability.
Helpful Stem: "The hardest part of carrying this situation was..."

5 What needs to happen to make things right?

Goal: Agree on concrete restitution and forward-looking behavior.
Helpful Stem: "To repair this harm, I am ready to [concrete action] by [specific day/time]."

Restorative Sentence Starter Strips

Owning Responsibility: • "I take responsibility for the moment when I..."
• "I reacted out of anger instead of taking a pause."

Validating Others' Pain: • "I hear that my words made you feel unsafe."
• "If someone did that to me, I would feel hurt too."

Asking for What is Needed: • "To move forward, what I really need is..."
• "I need us to agree on how we handle disagreements next time."

Offering Reconnection: • "I value our friendship more than winning this argument."
• "Thank you for being willing to sit in circle with me."

Circle Discussion & Scenario Cards • Harm to Harmony Page 2 of 2

Restorative Rounds 2, 3, & 4

Facilitator: "Taylor, who has been affected by what happened, and in what way?"

Taylor (holding piece): "I was affected because that tablet was a birthday gift from my grandfather, and my digital portfolio was on it. But I also know our whole friend group felt uncomfortable at lunch because everyone was taking sides and whispering."

Facilitator: "Jordan, the piece is yours. What was the hardest thing for you about this situation?"

Jordan (looking up, speaking softly): "The hardest thing was feeling like a coward. I knew hiding it in the locker was wrong the second I closed the door. The worst part wasn't the broken screen; it was knowing that I broke Taylor's trust after they were generous enough to lend it to me."

Taylor (softening tone): "I didn't know you were scared. When you didn't say anything, I assumed you just didn't care about my things."

Round 5: What needs to happen to make things right? Actionable Repair

Jordan: "First, I apologize for dodging you and hiding the damage. To make it right physically, I told my parents last night and I am paying for the screen replacement using my allowance over the next two months. I also won't ask to borrow your electronics again until you feel completely safe."

Taylor: "I accept that. I also want to apologize for screaming in your face in the hallway and calling you a fake friend. Next time I feel that angry, I agree to take a 10-second breath and ask for a circle before blowing up."

Facilitator (closing chime): "Both of you stepped out of defensiveness and into courage today. We will sign our repair sheet and check back in this Friday during lunch. Thank you for honoring the circle."

Fishbowl Observer Debrief • Class Discussion Prompts

1. The Turning Point: At what exact moment did Jordan and Taylor stop being enemies and start collaborating to solve the problem?

2. Vulnerability vs Blame: How did admitting "feeling like a coward" disarm Taylor's anger compared to making excuses?

3. Restoration Quality: Why is paying for the screen + apologizing for hallway screaming better than just saying "My bad"?

Now Your Turn: Pair up with a partner. Choose Scenario 1 or 2 from your Circle Cards and practice using the 5 questions!

5 Min Practice

Harm to Harmony • Repair Roleplay Script Page 2 of 2