Friendship Signals Social Story
Social Skills Guide • Plain Talk
Name: Date:
Social Story
How to Get Good Attention and Keep Friends
Everyone wants attention. Here is how to get positive attention so other kids like being around you.
I like when people notice me. In middle school, it feels bad to be ignored. When I want other kids to look at me, my brain wants attention fast.
Sometimes I might tease someone, say something shocking, take their stuff, or push their buttons. When I do this, they react right away. They might yell, look angry, or tell me to stop. My brain thinks: "Hey, they noticed me!"
The problem: This is negative attention. When I make kids upset, they feel unsafe around me. They will not want to sit with me, talk to me, or be my friend.
Negative Attention (Avoid)
- • Roasting or making fun of a classmate.
- • Saying weird or shocking things to get a gasp.
- • Touching their desk, pencil, or backpack.
Result: Kids get mad and walk away.
Positive Attention (Do This)
- • Asking what game or video they are playing.
- • Giving a real compliment ("Cool shoes").
- • Sharing a funny meme or safe joke.
Result: Kids smile and enjoy my company.
My Honest Answer
What is one thing you did recently to get a laugh that actually made someone upset?
Part 1: Understanding My Attention Page 1 of 4
Skill 1: How to Join • Skill 2: Safe Jokes Social Skills Guide
1 How to Join Other Kids (3 Steps)
Do not jump in by making a loud noise or teasing. Follow these 3 easy steps:
Step 1: Look & Wait
Stand a few steps away. Watch what they are doing for 5 seconds. Are they laughing, talking about games, or studying?
Step 2: Ask or Comment
Say something about what they are doing: "Hey, who are you guys watching?" or "Can I sit here?"
Step 3: Check Reaction
If they look up and say "Sure" → Sit down.
If they turn away or say "No" → Say "Okay, cool" and walk away calmly.
2 Jokes: Safe vs. Mean
Jokes are only funny when both people are laughing.
SAFE JOKES (Green Light)
- ✓ Funny memes and internet videos.
- ✓ A silly mistake I made myself.
- ✓ Funny things about the school lunch or weather.
NEVER JOKE ABOUT (Red Light)
- × Someone's body, face, weight, or hair.
- × Their clothes or shoes.
- × A mistake they made or a bad grade.
The #1 Rule: When Someone Says "STOP"
If someone says "Stop", "Leave me alone", or frowns and looks away:
✓ WHAT TO DO: Stop immediately. Close your mouth. Take a step back.
× NEVER DO THIS: Do not say "It was just a joke!" Do not keep talking.
Pick One Safe Join Phrase You Can Use at School:
Part 2: Joining Groups & The STOP Rule Page 2 of 4
Skill 3: Handling "No" • Skill 4: Making Amends Social Skills Guide
3 What to Do When Someone Says "No"
Sometimes kids say "You can't sit here" or "I want to be alone." This happens to everyone.
Remember: "No" does not mean they hate you. They might want to talk to their partner, or they might be having a rough day.
✓ Cool Reaction: Say: "No problem, see you later." Walk away calmly. Find another table or activity.
× Problem Reaction: Yelling, calling them names, kicking their chair, or refusing to move.
4 How to Apologize (The 3-Step Fix)
If you took a joke too far, insulted someone, or annoyed them, do this to fix it:
1
Name What You Did
"I'm sorry I grabbed your binder."
2
Say You Will Stop
"That wasn't funny. I won't do it again."
3
Give Them Space
Walk away quietly. Do not demand that they say "It's okay."
× Bad Apology (Makes it worse): "I'm sorry, BUT you were being annoying first!"
✓ Real Apology (Fixes it): "I crossed the line with that comment. I'm sorry."
Practice Your Apology Words
Situation: You made a joke about someone's shoes and they got upset. Write what you would say to apologize:
Part 3: Handling Rejection & Apologies Page 3 of 4
Skill 5: In The Moment • My Personal Plan Social Skills Guide
5 What to Do When I Feel Like Teasing or Yelling
When my body feels hyper, bored, or wants a reaction right now, do one of these:
1. Squeeze Hands
Put hands in your pockets and squeeze your fists tight for 5 seconds, then let go.
2. Three Slow Breaths
Breathe in deep through your nose. Blow it out slowly like cooling hot soup.
3. Talk to an Adult
Go to the teacher or counselor. Say: "I need a two-minute reset."
My School Connection Plan
Two good things I like talking about (like games, movies, drawing, or sports):
1:
2:
One safe adult at school who can help me when I feel left out:
Pocket Reminder Card (Cut and Keep) Keep in Pocket / Binder
Before I tease someone:
- 1. Stop. Will this hurt their feelings?
- 2. Am I doing this just to get a reaction?
- 3. Choose a kind question instead.
If they say STOP:
- 1. Freeze right now.
- 2. Say: "My bad, I'll stop."
- 3. Take a step back and move on.
Part 4: Daily Coping & Pocket Card Page 4 of 4
