Draft Doctors Facilitator Guide Draft Doctors
Facilitator Guide: Writer's Workshop
TEKS 6.11 & 7.11
Reporting Categories 3 & 4
Case Briefing
"Doctors, we have a patient in critical condition—a draft plagued by weak transitions, inconsistent tenses, and structural instability. Your mission: perform emergency revision and editing surgery to save the composition."
Apply standard English conventions (commas, pronouns, verbs).
Improve draft clarity via transitions and sentence variety.
Analyze model essays for STAAR scoring alignment.
Surgical Schedule
Mini-Lesson 15-20m
Surgical Practice 30m
Peer Consultation 15m
Rounds (Share) 10m
FACILITATOR ROUNDS (INSTRUCTIONAL FLOW)
Part 1: The Scrub-In (Mini-Lesson)
Use the Surgical Skills Slides to model convention repair. Focus on sentence combining and comma surgery . Key Question: "How does this change improve the reader's understanding of the patient's (writer's) idea?"
Part 2: The Operating Room (Guided Practice)
Distribute the Revision Operating Room Worksheet . Students work individually or in 'surgical teams' of two. Circulate the room (making 'rounds') to check for specific symptoms: fragment/run-on errors and weak transitions.
Part 3: The Case Files (Analysis)
Present the Model Essay Case Files . Have students identify why a '4' earns its score compared to a '2'. Look specifically at the organizational structure and word choice .
Diagnosis: Common Pitfalls
Pronoun Paralysis:
Students often use "they" or "it" without a clear antecedent. Remind them: "Who is 'it' exactly?"
Fragment Fatigue:
Help students 'hear' the sentence. If they can't answer "Who did what?", the patient isn't stable.
Restricted Access: Educator Training Material // Surgical Board Certified
Surgical Skills Slides Surgical Skills
Convention & Revision Bootcamp
STAAR Writing Mastery: Grades 6-7
The Comma Scalpel
Diagnosis: Floating Clauses
Use commas to attach introductory phrases and to join complete thoughts (FANBOYS).
Introductory: After school, the team practiced hard.Compound: The rain started, but the game continued.
Emergency Surgery
"Since she forgot her lunch Sarah was hungry during the test."
Where is the incision needed?
Pronoun Repair
Patient Identification
Every pronoun (he, she, it, they) must have a clear antecedent (the noun it replaces).
Critical Error:
"The book and the shelf were old, so we threw it away."
Successful Surgery:
"The book was old, so we threw it away."
The "They" Virus
Avoid using "they" or "their" when referring to a single person (e.g., "A student should bring their pencil" is common in speech, but "his or her" is standard writing surgery).
Tense Stabilization
Don't let your patient jump through time!
Verb tenses must remain consistent throughout a paragraph unless a specific time change occurs.
Irregular Pulse (Error)
"The dragon flew over the hill and starts breathing fire."
Past + Present = Instability
Stable Pulse (Fixed)
"The dragon flew over the hill and started breathing fire."
Consistent Past Tense
Sentence Vitality
Fragments
The patient is missing a limb.
"Walking to the store in the rain."
Add a Subject + Verb
Run-ons
The patient has too many hearts.
"I love soccer I play it every Saturday."
Add Punctuation or Conjunction
Cosmetic Revision
Repeated sentence structures make your writing sound like a machine.
The Simpleton
"I went home. I ate food. I slept."
The Specialist
"After arriving home, I quickly ate before falling into a deep sleep."
Surgical Tool: Subordinating Conjunctions
Although, Since, Because, While, When, If
Operating Room Worksheet Operating Room
Patient: The Revision Draft
Doctor Name
Date
Procedure 1: Transition Grafting
The patient's thoughts are disconnected. Select and insert the most effective transition word or phrase from the Surgical Supplies box to connect the ideas logically.
Furthermore In contrast As a result For example Similarly
1. Many students enjoy the freedom of middle school lunch periods. ______________________, some students find the lack of structure overwhelming and chaotic.
2. Proper sleep improves memory and focus during the school day. ______________________, a well-rested brain is more capable of handling emotional stress.
3. The city council decided to cut funding for the local library. ______________________, many weekend reading programs were canceled.
Procedure 2: Sentence Variety Surgery
The patient has "Short-Sentence Fever." Combine these choppy sentences into one complex or compound sentence to improve the flow. Use subordinating conjunctions (like because, although, while ) or coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS ).
Original: The storm raged outside. We stayed safe in the basement. We played board games.
Original: Marco finished his homework early. He wanted to watch the game. He forgot his notebook at school.
Procedure 3: Organ Displacement (Revising)
Read the following paragraph. One sentence is off-topic and needs to be amputated. Another sentence needs to be moved to improve the logical flow.
(1) Volcanic eruptions are among the most powerful natural events on Earth. (2) They can spew molten rock and ash high into the atmosphere. (3) Mount St. Helens erupted in 1980, causing massive destruction. (4) Many people enjoy hiking on volcanoes because the views are beautiful. (5) This eruption served as a reminder of nature's unpredictability. (6) Scientists now use advanced technology to monitor volcanic activity more closely.
Amputation (Delete):
Which sentence should be removed?
Relocation (Move):
Move sentence (6) to after which sentence?
Draft Doctors Certification Form 102 // Confidential Patient File
Model Essay Case Files Case Files: Essay Analysis
Comparing Score Point 4 vs. Score Point 2
COMPOSITION ANALYSIS
The Prompt
"Read the following information: Some people believe that schools should require all students to learn a musical instrument. Others believe students should have the freedom to choose their own electives. Think about the importance of choice in school. Write an essay explaining why it is important for students to have choices in their education. "
Case File #1: The Full Recovery
SCORE: 4 (HIGH)
Freedom of choice is the spark that ignites a student's passion for learning. When students are forced into subjects they have no interest in, school becomes a chore rather than an opportunity. Providing choices in education is essential because it fosters engagement and teaches students responsibility.
First, choice leads to higher engagement. For instance, a student who loves technology will be much more excited to attend a coding class than a mandatory violin lesson. Because they are interested, they will work harder and participate more. This enthusiasm often spills over into their core classes, improving their overall attitude toward school.
Furthermore, having choices prepares students for the real world. In adulthood, we must make decisions about our careers and lifestyles every day. By allowing middle schoolers to select their electives, schools are giving them a "practice run" for making significant life choices.
DOCTOR'S NOTES (WHY IT EARNED A 4)
Strong Thesis: The introduction clearly states the position and outlines two specific reasons (engagement and responsibility).Advanced Transitions: Uses "For instance," "Furthermore," and "Because" to connect ideas logically.Sentence Variety: Mixes simple and complex sentences effectively to maintain a professional tone.
Case File #2: Stable but Weak
SCORE: 2 (DEVELOPING)
I think students should have choices in school. It is good for them to pick what they want. Some kids like band and some like art. If you make them do things they don't like they will be sad.
Also, choice is good because you can learn what you are good at. My friend likes gym but he is bad at math. He should get to do more gym. School is boring if you can't pick.
In conclusion, choices are very important. Teachers should let kids pick more. This is why choices are good.
DOCTOR'S NOTES (WHY IT EARNED A 2)
Weak Development: Ideas are repetitive and lack specific evidence or "meat."Repetitive Transitions: Relies heavily on "Also" and basic sentence starters.
Surgical Board Exam Assessment Surgical Board Exam
STAAR Writing Final Certification
Candidate Name
Date
Draft Segment: The School Garden
(1) Starting a school garden is a great way for students to learn about nature. (2) However many students don't know how to grow plants. (3) Last spring, our class plants tomatoes and cucumbers. (4) Everyone brought their own garden gloves to help out. (5) We watered the soil we also pulled weeds every day.
1. What is the correct way to write sentence 2?
A. However; many students don't know how to grow plants.
B. However, many students don't know how to grow plants.
C. However many students, don't know how to grow plants.
D. Sentence 2 is correct as is.
2. What change, if any, should be made to sentence 3?
A. Change plants to planted
B. Change plants to planting
C. Change tomatoes to tomato's
D. No change is needed.
3. What change, if any, should be made to sentence 4?
A. Change Everyone to Them
B. Change their to his or her
C. Change brought to bring
D. No change is needed.
4. What is the correct way to write sentence 5?
A. We watered the soil, we also pulled weeds every day.
B. We watered the soil; also pulled weeds every day.
C. We watered the soil, and we also pulled weeds every day.
D. We watered the soil while also pulling. Weeds every day.
Draft Segment: The New Stadium
(6) The city built a beautiful new sports stadium last year. (7) It seats over fifty thousand people and has a retractable roof. (8) It cost a lot of money to build. (9) The stadium provides a great place for fans to watch games in any weather. (10) For example, it is home to the local football team. (11) Some people think the parking lot is too small.
5. What is the best way to combine sentences 6 and 7?
A. The city built a beautiful new sports stadium last year, it seats over fifty thousand people and has a retractable roof.
B. Last year, the city built a beautiful new sports stadium that seats over fifty thousand people and has a retractable roof.
C. The city built a beautiful new sports stadium last year and seating over fifty thousand people with a retractable roof.
Board Exam Results Answer Key Board Exam Results
Answer Key & Surgical Explanations
TEACHER RESOURCE
1. B Editing: Commas
Explanation: The word "However" acts as an introductory transition word in this context and must be followed by a comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence.
2. A Editing: Verb Tense
Explanation: The phrase "Last spring" indicates that the action happened in the past. Therefore, the present tense "plants" must be changed to the past tense "planted" to ensure consistency.
3. B Editing: Pronouns
Explanation: "Everyone" is a singular indefinite pronoun. In formal academic writing, it should be followed by the singular pronoun "his or her" rather than the plural "their."
4. C Editing: Run-ons
Explanation: Sentence 5 is a comma splice/run-on. Adding a comma and a coordinating conjunction ("and") correctly joins the two independent clauses.
5. B Revision: Combining
Explanation: Choice B uses a relative clause ("that seats...") to combine the ideas into one fluid complex sentence, avoiding the repetitive subject "It."
6. B Revision: Transitions
Explanation: Sentence 9 adds more positive information about the stadium's benefits. "In addition" correctly signals that the writer is providing further supporting details.
7. D Revision: Unity
Explanation: The paragraph focuses on the stadium itself (its construction, features, and use). Sentence 11 shifts the focus to the parking lot, which breaks the paragraph's unity.
8. B Revision: Precision
Explanation: "Construction of the facility" and "investment of millions of dollars" provide specific, academic language that is much more precise than "a lot of money."
9. D Revision: Organization
Explanation: Sentence 10 provides an example ("For example...") of the fans watching games mentioned in sentence 9. Its current placement is logical and supports the flow.
10. C Editing: Fragments
Explanation: Choice C is a dependent clause starting with the subordinating conjunction "Although." It does not contain an independent clause to complete the thought, making it a fragment.
Draft Doctors Faculty Resource // Scoring Reference 7.11
