Restorative Mediation High Visibility Slides
Restorative Mediation
A Narrative Approach to Peer Conflict
Session Guide for Counselors
Core Philosophy
Externalizing lowers threat
Double listening prevents conflict-saturated identities
Naive curiosity increases agency
Counter-stories invite best selves forward
Repair replaces punishment with responsibility
Step One
Set the Frame
Goal: Reduce defensiveness and shift from blame to curiosity.
“We’re not here to decide who is right or wrong. We’re here to understand what showed up between you.”
Write: "The person is not the problem."
Step Two
Safe Foundations
Speak for Yourself
Use "I" statements to share your experience.
No Interrupting
Everyone gets full space to be heard.
Reflection
I will check back to ensure I understand you.
Name the "Problem"
Separate the student from the conflict.
The Key Question:
"If this problem had its own name, what would we call it?"
Examples of "Names"
The Rumor Spiral
Group Text Blow-Up
Pressure to Impress
The Miscommunication
Step Three
Map the Effects
1
How did the problem get you to feel?
2
What did it get you to do or think?
3
How did it affect your friendship?
Step Four
Double Listening
Listen for the Counter-Story.
Identify gaps and resistance:
Moments they almost did something different.
What stopped it from getting even worse?
Name the Value
Connecting actions to intentions.
Listen For...
Fairness
Loyalty
Respect
Core Question:
"What does that tell me about what kind of person you're trying to be?"
Step Five
Addressing Harm
Move from shame to responsibility.
"What would make this situation right and fair?"
The Agreement
Who will do what?
When and where?
How will we know?
Preferred Identity
"What kind of person do you want to be in these situations?"
"What would that version of you do next time?"
Step Six
Closing Reflection
"If someone asked what you learned from this, what would you say?"
Growth
Agency
Repair
Conflict Navigator Worksheet
Conflict Navigator
Restorative Mediation Guide
Name:
Date:
The Golden Rule: The person is not the problem. The problem is the problem. This worksheet helps us map out what the problem is doing and how we can take our power back.
1. Name the "Problem"
If this conflict was a separate character or a thing with its own name (like "The Rumor Spiral" or "The Wall of Silence"), what would you call it?
2. Map the Effects
How does it make you FEEL?
What does it make you DO or THINK?
How has it affected your friendship or your day at school?
3. The Counter-Story
Think of a moment when the problem almost won, but you did something different—even something small—to keep it from getting worse.
What did you do (or want to do) that showed the problem doesn't have 100% control?
What does that action tell us about what you VALUE (like Respect, Fairness, or Loyalty)?
4. My Next Version
What kind of person do you want to be known as in situations like this?
What is one specific thing that version of you will do the next time the problem shows up?
Final Reflection
If someone asked what you learned about yourself or this situation today, what would you tell them?
Growth
Agency
Repair
