Expectation Power Facilitator Guide The Lens of Expectation
Lesson 1: Power of Expectations Over Feelings
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To help participants identify the cognitive "filters" (expectations) through which they interpret their daily experiences and emotional states, shifting from a "Perfection Expectation" to a "Growth Expectation."
Scripture Anchor
"It will begin to swell within your breasts… ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed." — Alma 32:28
Preparation
Alma 32 Text
Pens & Paper
Whiteboard
1
Connection & Check-In (10 min)
Establish a safe environment. Remind the group that "swelling" is growth, not completion.
Check-In Prompt:
"On a scale of 1-10, how heavy has the weight of your own expectations felt this week? Briefly share why you chose that number."
2
Mindfulness: The Seed (10 min)
Guide participants in a grounded visualization.
• Breathe in deeply, focusing on the air as a gift of grace.
• Visualize a small, hard seed in your hand. This is your current effort.
• Notice that you do not expect a tree today. You only expect the seed to "swell."
• Practice: Sit with the feeling that "swelling" (effort) is enough for today. Release the need for harvest.
3
Discussion: The Power of the Lens (20 min)
CONCEPT: Expectations interpret reality.
If I expect perfection, I feel failure. If I expect growth, I feel progress—even in the struggle.
Perfection Lens
Reality: I made a mistake.Failure/Shame
Growth Lens
Reality: I made a mistake.Learning/Effort
4
Activity: The "Should" Detective (15 min)
Identify one religious "Should" you carry (e.g., "I should always feel peace when I pray") and reframe it as a growth expectation.
My Burden (The "Should"):
My Truth (The Growth Expectation):
5
Closing & Notes (5 min)
Group Insights & Facilitator Notes
Misalignment Map Facilitator Guide The Misalignment Trap
Lesson 2: The Three Layers of Expectation
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To identify cognitive dissonance and scrupulosity triggers by mapping the differences between perceived divine expectations, personal rigid standards, and scriptural truth.
The Three Layers
A. Perceived: What we think God expects (often distorted by fear).
B. Self-Imposed: What we expect of ourselves (rigid rules).
C. Reality: What God actually expects (persistence & grace).
Counseling Focus
Focus on the Distress Gap . The larger the distance between A/B and C, the greater the anxiety and spiritual exhaustion.
1
Check-In: The Gap (10 min)
"How big is the gap today between who you are and who you think you 'must' be? Is it a finger's width or a canyon?"
2
Mindfulness: Releasing the Pack (10 min)
"Visualize a backpack filled with stones. Each stone is labeled with a 'must' or a 'should'."
"Breathe out deeply. Set the pack down. For 5 minutes, your only job is to exist in God's presence without the pack. You are loved as you sit, not as you run."
3
Activity: Mapping the Layers (25 min)
Work through specific examples of spiritual misalignment.
Layer A (Perceived)
"He is angry if I'm not perfect."
Layer B (Self)
"I must never have bad thoughts."
Layer C (Reality)
"I expect to try, fail, and turn to Him."
Workspace: Map a personal misalignment
4
Closing & Insights (15 min)
"The struggle isn't my belief—it's my expectation. Today, I align with Layer C: Persistence."
Group Reflection Notes
Actual Expectations Facilitator Guide The Realistic Father
Lesson 3: What God Actually Expects
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To replace the "Flawless Performance" cognitive distortion with the "Christ-Centered Persistence" model, using scriptural evidence to build a compassionate internal view of God.
Doctrinal Anchors
Romans 3:23
"For all have sinned... that's not a failure of the plan; that is the plan."
2 Nephi 11:6
"There must needs be a Christ... He was never a backup plan."
Counselor Note
"Imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with."
— J.R. Holland
1
Check-In: Expectations (10 min)
"Why do we often think God expects us to walk perfectly in a world designed with obstacles?"
2
Mindfulness: Breathing in Grace (10 min)
"Breathe in: I am imperfect. Breathe out: Christ is perfect. Breathe in: My effort is enough. Breathe out: His grace is sufficient."
3
Persistence over Performance (25 min)
The Persistence Model
• Turning back after a fall
• Keeping the next prayer
• Asking for help when stuck
• Trying one more time
Group Insights & Observations
4
Closing: Human Frailty (15 min)
Weekly Challenge
When you notice a mistake, say: "I am a human being. This is why I have a Savior."
My Personal Commitment
Teleios Truth Facilitator Guide The Teleios Goal
Lesson 4: Rethinking "Be Ye Therefore Perfect"
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To perform linguistic reframing of the word "Perfect," shifting from the maladaptive "flawless" definition to the adaptive "whole/mature" definition.
Word Study: Teleios
Greek: Teleios
Meaning: Complete, finished, fully developed, or whole. Not "freedom from error."
Distant Objective
"The command is not: 'Never make mistakes.' It is: 'Keep moving toward wholeness in Christ.'"
1
Check-In (10 min)
"When you hear 'perfect,' do you feel a tightening or a opening? Why?"
2
Mindfulness (10 min)
"Visualize yourself as pottery in process. You are not 'flawed' because you are unfinished; you are simply becoming."
3
Activity: The Wholeness Map (25 min)
The path to Teleios is a winding road. Identify three 'Pit Stops' (small wins) for this week.
Pit Stop 1:
Pit Stop 3:
Pit Stop 2:
Reflections on 'Distant Objectives'
4
Facilitator Notes (15 min) Self-Monitoring Facilitator Guide The Internal Monitor
Lesson 5: Expectations About Ourselves
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To recognize and interrupt the "Hyper-Monitoring" cycle—a core feature of religious scrupulosity—where students mistake their constant self-policing for genuine righteousness.
The Scrupulosity Cycle
Mistake Focus
→
Fear of Sin
→
Constant Monitoring
→
Exhaustion
Key Scripture
"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not."
— D&C 6:36
1
Check-In: Exhaustion Meter (10 min)
"Is your spiritual tiredness from healthy service or from the constant 'monitoring' of your own brain?"
2
Mindfulness: Externalizing (10 min)
"Imagine the part of your brain that monitors thoughts as an over-zealous 'Safety Guard'. Practicing saying: 'Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I'm going to look at Christ now instead of my fear.'"
3
Discussion: Look Unto Me (25 min)
D&C 6:36 focuses on the direction of attention, not the perfection of the content.
Group Observation Log
4
Closing: The Focus Shift (15 min)
My Personal Take-Home
When I catch myself monitoring this week, I will stop and list one thing I'm grateful for about Grace.
Facilitator Follow-Up Notes
Weakness Strength Facilitator Guide The Design of Weakness
Lesson 6: Expectations About God
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To de-stigmatize mental and spiritual struggle by identifying it as a "divine design" for humility rather than a symptom of unrighteousness.
Scripture
"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble… then will I make weak things become strong." — Ether 12:27
Core Insight
Weakness is not failure—it's part of the design to draw us to Christ.
1
Check-In (10 min)
"Have you ever felt that if you were 'righteous enough,' your struggles would vanish?"
2
Mindfulness (10 min)
"Sit next to your weakness today. Imagine Christ sitting on the other side. The weakness is the bridge, not the wall."
3
Weakness vs. Sin (25 min)
Sin
Rebellion; choosing against God's light. Requires repentance.
Weakness
Human limitation & frailty. Requires Grace.
Group Insight: How we mislabel our struggles
4
Closing: Engagement (15 min)
Invite Christ into the Weakness:
"God’s expectation is not that we eliminate struggle—but that we engage it with Christ."
Facilitator Follow-Up Notes
Imperfect Pattern Facilitator Guide The Human Pattern
Lesson 7: Expectations About Leaders and the Church
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To address the disillusionment that occurs when expectations of institutional perfection are unmet, normalizing imperfection as a consistent scriptural pattern.
Peter & Judas
Peter: Denied Christ three times. Yet lead Apostle.
Judas: Betrayed Christ. Yet called by Him.
Key Concept
"God does not call perfect people—He calls people to become perfect."
1
Check-In (10 min)
"When a leader fails, does it feel like the whole foundation is breaking, or just your expectation of them?"
2
Mindfulness (10 min)
"Gently move everyone off the pedestal except Christ. Sit with the phrase: 'Christ is the Rock; everyone else is a fellow traveler.'"
3
Discussion: The Pattern (25 min)
Group Insight: Why does God use 'Weak Things'?
"Imperfection in leaders doesn't invalidate authority—it reflects the divine pattern."
4
Closing: Reflection (15 min)
Journal Reflection:
"Who is one person in scripture whose mistakes give you hope for God's ability to use YOU?"
Facilitator Follow-Up Notes
Grace Invitation Facilitator Guide The Invitation of Grace
Lesson 8: Beyond Checklist Religion
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To shift the cognitive focus from a "Defensive/Avoidant" religious orientation (preventing mistakes) to an "Appetitive/Growth" orientation (approaching Christ).
John 8:11
"Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."
Order: 1. No Condemnation → 2. Invitation to Change.
Growth Note
"God is not waiting at the finish line; He is cheering us on at every step." — D.F. Uchtdorf
1
Check-In (10 min)
"When you think of commandments, do they feel like a fence to a cage, or a map to more life?"
2
Mindfulness (10 min)
"Breathe in the lack of condemnation. Sit in that space where you are already accepted, before you have even 'gone and sinned no more'."
3
Core Discussion: The Checklist (25 min)
Checklist Focus
"Did I mess up?"
Invitation Focus
"Am I moving toward Christ?"
Facilitator: Record Group Insights here
4
Closing: Action Plan (15 min)
My "Small Step" Celebration:
Identify one way you can celebrate moving toward Christ this week, regardless of perfection.
Becoming Change Facilitator Guide The Heart of Becoming
Lesson 9: Shifting from Perfection to Becoming
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To replace "Tally-Based" evaluation with "Nature-Based" evaluation, focusing on the change of desires (becoming) rather than the counting of behaviors.
Mosiah 5:2
"We have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."
Becoming
"The gospel is not about proving worthiness; it's about becoming like Him."
1
Check-In (10 min)
"If God already knows your worth is infinite, what are you actually trying to prove?"
2
Mindfulness (10 min)
"Visualize a treeNaturally reaching for the light. It doesn't 'prove' it's a tree; it just is . Spend 5 minutes noticing your own desire to be good."
3
Activity: Reframing (25 min)
Old Questions
"Did I mess up?"
Becoming Questions
"Am I moving toward Christ?"
Facilitator Notes: Group Resistance or Insights
4
Closing: Journal Prompt (15 min)
My nature is changing:
Write 3 ways your desires have become more Christlike recently, even if your actions weren't perfect.
Scrupulosity Exit Facilitator Guide The Joy Mandate
Lesson 10: Addressing Scrupulosity Directly
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To identify scrupulous distortions (equating thoughts with sin, seeking certainty) and replace them with the "Joy Mandate."
Distortion Spotlight
Overestimating Demands
Underestimating Grace
Equating Thought & Sin
Seeking Certainty over Faith
Joy Anchor
"Men are, that they might have joy." — 2 Nephi 2:25
1
Check-In (10 min)
"If your religious experience produces constant fear, what expectation needs realignment?"
2
Mindfulness (10 min)
"Faith requires uncertainty. Practice saying: 'I choose to live in the uncertainty and trust Christ anyway.' Breathe into the discomfort."
3
Activity: Realignment (25 min)
Look at the 'Distortion Spotlight' above. Which one steals your joy today?
My Distortion:
My 'Joy Mandate' Reframe:
4
Closing & Insights (15 min)
Facilitator Notes: Group Successes or Blocks
Prayer Alignment Facilitator Guide The Prayer of Release
Lesson 11: Prayer as the Means of Realignment
60 Min Session
Clinical Objective
To transform prayer from a performance task into an emotional regulation tool, using the Gethsemane model of surrendering unrealistic burdens.
The Pattern
"Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." — Luke 22:42
Alignment
Release expectations
Receive God’s will
Reframe experiences
Replace fear with peace
1
Check-In (10 min)
"What is the biggest 'expectation burden' you are still carrying? Imagine handing it to Him right now."
2
Mindfulness (10 min)
"Breathe in: 'He has carried this.' Breathe out: 'I can let it go.' Sit for 5 minutes in that stillness."
3
Activity: Realignment Shift (25 min)
Transforming Petition into Alignment
From (Demand):
"Make me perfect today."
To (Alignment):
"Help me see my growth through Your eyes."
4
Conclusion & Notes (15 min)
Final Group Insights & Reflection
Peace replaces fear when truth replaces expectation.
