Co Regulation Intro Slides Support Systems
The Power of Co-Regulation
Scene Study: Support in Action
Think of a movie scene where a character is overwhelmed, panicked, or upset, and another character helps them calm down.
What did they do?
• Use a calm voice?
• Offer a specific physical item?
• Just sit in silence?
• Give simple directions?
How did it feel?
"I'm not doing this alone."
WHAT IS CO-REGULATION?
The Definition
The process where a supportive person uses their own regulated nervous system to help another person regain balance.
"Borrowing someone else's calm until you can find your own again."
Connection
Feeling safe and seen.
Modeling
Steady breathing, slow movements.
Support
Reducing demands and environment stress.
Co-Regulation vs. Co-Dependence
Healthy Co-Reg
Temporary support
Leads to self-regulation
Clear boundaries
Empowering the individual
Co-Dependence
Constant reliance
Prevents skill building
Blurred boundaries
Enabling or "fixing"
WHO ARE YOUR ANCHORS?
Not everyone is suited to be a co-regulator. A co-regulator must be able to stay calm when you are not.
Availability
Are they someone you can reach when you need them?
Stability
Can they keep their cool under pressure?
Permission
Have you talked to them about this role?
Safe Person Map Activity Safe Person Map
Co-Regulation & Support Systems
Name: ________________________________
Date: ________________________________
Mapping Your Support
A co-regulator is someone who can stay calm and supportive when you are experiencing sensory dysregulation. Use the map below to identify people in different areas of your life who could fulfill this role. Remember: a good co-regulator is available, stable, and has permission to help.
Personal Circle
Family members, close friends, roommates...
Professional Circle
Mentors, trusted colleagues, teachers, advisors...
Backup Support
Hotlines, virtual supports, distant mentors...
Self-Regulation Tools
When a person isn't available (apps, pets, textures)...
Analysis & Action
1. Look at your map. Is there one circle that feels "empty" or "weak"? Why do you think that is?
2. Pick ONE person from your map. How would you start a conversation with them about helping you co-regulate?
3. What is one specific "boundary" you would need to set with a co-regulator to ensure the relationship stays healthy (not co-dependent)?
Silent Signals Slides Beyond Words
Navigating Communication Shutdowns
The "Verbal Wall"
During intense sensory dysregulation, the part of the brain responsible for speech (Broca's area) can literally shut down .
"It's like the connection between my brain and my mouth is severed. I know what I want to say, but the words won't come out."
Selective Mutism
Temporary loss of speech in specific situations.
Verbal Processing Lag
Delayed ability to understand or respond to spoken words.
Your Personal Signal Toolkit
Physical Gestures
Pre-arranged hand signals (e.g., peace sign for "break", palm up for "stop talking").
Communication Cards
Small, physical cards in your wallet or on a lanyard that explain your needs.
Digital Shortcuts
Specific emojis or text codes sent to a trusted contact (e.g., 🔴 = emergency).
Designing Effective Signals
Instant
Requires zero thought
Visible
Easy to spot
Clear
Only one meaning
The "One-Tap" Strategy
Digital Codes
🆘 = Immediate help needed
🛑 = Stop asking questions
📍 = Sending my location
🔕 = I can't talk right now
When your brain is in "crisis mode," searching for words is too hard. A single emoji or a pre-set shortcut is often all you can manage.
"We agree that if I text you a 🌵, it means I'm dysregulated and I need you to come get me without making me talk."
Signal Design Workshop Signal Design Workshop
Building Your Crisis Communication Toolkit
Student Name: ________________________________
1. Crisis Communication Cards
Communication cards are used when you cannot speak. They should be clear, concise, and professional. Design three cards below that you would carry in your wallet or keep on a lanyard.
Card 1: Emergency
Example: "I am having a sensory crisis. I cannot speak right now. Please call [Name] at [Number]."
Card 2: Processing
Example: "I need a few minutes of silence to process. Please wait for me to signal when I'm ready."
Card 3: Action
Example: "I need to leave this room immediately for fresh air. I will return in 10 minutes."
2. Physical Hand Signals
Sometimes you don't even have the energy to pull out a card. Define three discreet hand signals you could use with a teacher, boss, or friend.
Signal 1: Help
Description of gesture:
Who knows this signal?
Signal 2: Break
Description of gesture:
Who knows this signal?
Signal 3: Overwhelmed
Description of gesture:
Who knows this signal?
3. The Emergency Text Code
Choose Your Emoji
Designate an emoji and a contact person. If you text them this emoji, it triggers a "No-Questions-Asked" support response.
Emoji / Code
Contact Person
Agreed Action (e.g., "Pick me up immediately")
Advocacy and Rights Slides The Power of Scripting
Advocacy, Rights, & Professional Disclosure
ADA: Your Legal Shield
Americans with Disabilities Act
The ADA protects you from discrimination in employment and higher education. Sensory processing differences are often covered under this act.
Key Term
Reasonable Accommodation
A change to the work environment or the way things are done that enables a person with a disability to enjoy equal employment opportunities.
Examples of Accommodations
Quiet workspace / Noise-canceling headphones
Modified lighting (no fluorescent lights)
Flexible breaks for sensory regulation
Permission to use non-verbal signals
Advance notice of schedule changes
The Disclosure Decision
Pros of Disclosure
• Unlocks legal protections and rights.
• Allows for proactive support.
• Reduces stress of "masking."
• Educates colleagues/professors.
Considerations
• Fear of stigma or judgment.
• Privacy concerns.
• You choose *when* and *to whom* you disclose.
• You only need to disclose to HR or your professor, not the whole team.
Rule of Thumb: Disclose before the crisis, not during it.
The Scripting Blueprint
1. The Need
Briefly explain the sensory context without over-sharing.
2. The Impact
Explain how it affects your performance or safety.
3. The Solution
Suggest specific, reasonable accommodations.
"I excel at my work, but I am sensitive to loud environments. To ensure I stay productive, I'd like to use noise-canceling headphones when I'm at my desk."
TIME TO DRAFT
You are your own best advocate. Having a script ready removes the anxiety of "finding the words" in the moment.
Plan
Draft
Execute
Disclosure Scripting Sheet The Disclosure Scripting Sheet
Advocacy & ADA Rights
Name: ________________________________
1. Setting the Stage
Choose a scenario you are likely to face soon (e.g., starting a part-time job, heading to college, or an internship).
Target Audience (Boss, Professor, HR)
The Primary Environment (Office, Lab, Retail)
2. The Three-Step Draft
Step A: The Need (Brief & Professional)
State that you have sensory processing differences and what triggers them. You don't need to give a full medical history.
I am writing to share that I have some sensory sensitivities, specifically regarding...
Step B: The Impact (Productivity Focused)
Explain how these triggers affect your ability to focus or work safely.
When the environment is [Trigger], it can make it difficult for me to [Impact/Focus]...
Step C: The Solution (Reasonable Accommodation)
Suggest 1-2 specific changes that would help you be successful.
To ensure I can be as productive as possible, I would like to request [Accommodation]...
3. The Final Pitch
Combine your steps above into a cohesive email or verbal script. Focus on being collaborative and professional.
Pro-Tip: Keep a copy of this script in your digital notes for future use!
Exit Strategy Slides The Graceful Exit
Mastering the Art of Stepping Away
The Window of Opportunity
The best time to leave is before the meltdown occurs. This requires high self-awareness.
Early Signs: Tight chest, irritability, skin crawling, light feels "stinging."
The Goal
To excuse yourself in a way that is professional , polite , and minimizes disruption .
The Polite Fiction
You don't always need to say "I'm dysregulated." In professional settings, using a common, socially accepted reason (a "polite fiction") is often more effective.
The "Water"
"Excuse me, I need to go grab some water."
The "Restroom"
"I'll be right back, I'm just stepping away for a moment."
The "Check"
"Pardon me, I need to check something quickly."
In High-Stakes Situations
Scenario: Job Interview
"I am so sorry, I need to step out for just a minute. Would you mind if we took a brief 2-minute break and then resumed?"
Result: Shows high emotional intelligence and self-management.
Scenario: Class Exam
(Hand the teacher your "Processing Card" or pre-arranged signal and walk out quietly.)
Result: No verbal conflict; teacher is informed via non-verbal plan.
THE SIMULATION
We are going to practice these lines until they feel like muscle memory. The more you say them now, the easier they will be to use when you're actually overwhelmed.
Let's Role Play
Exit Strategy Simulations Sheet Exit Strategy Simulations
Professional Social Navigation
Name: ________________________________
The Mission
Read the high-stakes scenarios below. For each one, determine your Early Warning Sign (what your body feels like) and draft a Professional Exit Line to excuse yourself before a crisis occurs.
Scenario 01
The Busy Retail Shift
The store is crowded, the music is loud, and three customers are waiting for you. You feel your heart racing.
Body Warning Sign:
Exit Line (to a coworker):
Scenario 02
The Family Dinner
Everyone is talking at once, the clinking of silverware is getting "sharper," and your skin starts to crawl.
Body Warning Sign:
Exit Line (to the table):
Scenario 03
The College Lecture
The fluorescent lights are humming, and you can't process what the professor is saying anymore. You need air.
Body Warning Sign:
Exit Action (Physical/Signal):
Scenario 04
The Group Project
Your team is arguing. You are starting to feel "shut down" and irritable. You might snap if you stay.
Body Warning Sign:
Exit Line (to the group):
Reflection: Staying Accountable
If you leave a meeting or class abruptly, what is the very next thing you should do once you are regulated again to ensure you remain professional?
Art of Repair Slides The Art of Repair
Relationship Maintenance Post-Crisis
The Repair Balance
Accountability
"I recognize that my behavior (leaving abruptly, snapping, etc.) impacted you or the environment."
Context
"I was experiencing significant sensory overload and my brain was in crisis mode."
The "Why"
Explaining the context is not making an excuse . It helps others understand that it wasn't personal—it was physiological.
The Repair Formula
01
Acknowledge
"I'm sorry I left the meeting so suddenly."
02
Contextualize
"I was feeling very sensory-overloaded."
03
Plan
"I have a strategy now to signal next time."
04
Reconnect
"Can we catch up on what I missed?"
Adapting the Conversation
The Work Version
"I apologize for the disruption yesterday. I was dealing with a brief health-related sensory issue. I've updated my accommodation plan with HR to prevent this in the future. I'm ready to dive back into the project."
The Friend Version
"Hey, sorry I ghosted the party last night. My brain hit a wall and I couldn't handle the noise anymore. It wasn't you at all—I just had to get to a quiet space. Hope you guys had fun!"
DEBRIEFING WITH YOUR SUPPORT
Repair isn't just with others; it's with yourself. Ask your co-regulator: "What worked? What didn't? What can we do differently next time?"
Analyze • Adjust • Heal
Relationship Repair Checklist The Repair Checklist
Interpersonal Accountability & Context
Name: ________________________________
Why Repair Matters
Sensory crises can be messy. Repairing the relationship afterward isn't just about saying "sorry"—it's about explaining your needs so others can support you better next time. Use this checklist to plan your conversation after a dysregulation event.
Step 1: The Plan
Am I Regulated?
Do not attempt repair if you are still feeling irritable or overwhelmed. Wait until you are calm.
Choose the Method
Is this a text, an email, or an in-person talk? Pick the one that feels safest for your processing.
Identify the Context
What happened? (e.g., "The lunchroom was too loud", "I hadn't slept", "The lights were flickering")
My "Context" for the next conversation:
Step 2: The Script
The Opening (Acknowledgement)
"I wanted to follow up on what happened earlier..."
The Middle (Contextualization)
"I was feeling significant sensory overload because..."
The Closing (Future Plan)
"Next time, I'm going to try [Signal/Exit Strategy] instead..."
The Ultimate Goal
"Repair isn't about being perfect. It's about showing the people in your life that you value them and that you are working on managing your unique sensory needs."
What is one relationship you want to protect by using this repair process?
