Spotting the Red Flags Lesson Plan Spotting the Red Flags
Lesson Plan • 8th Grade Health & Wellness
45 Minutes
Learning Objective
Students will be able to recognize and describe signs of unhealthy relationships, specifically focusing on controlling behavior, jealousy, and manipulation, and identify resources for seeking help.
The "Why"
Empowering students to recognize these signs early is crucial for their long-term well-being and physical safety. Early intervention helps prevent the escalation of harmful behaviors.
Materials Needed
Red Flag Radar Slides
Discussion Guide
Warning Signs Worksheet
Scenario Showdown Quiz
Teaching Procedure
5m
Introduction: Healthy vs. Unhealthy
Begin with a brief discussion on what constitutes a healthy relationship. Ask students to share examples of healthy behaviors they've seen in friendships or family (e.g., trust, support, individual space).
15m
Identifying Unhealthy Signs
Distribute the Warning Signs Worksheet . Use the slide deck to define key terms:
Controlling Behavior: Limiting freedom, checking phones, telling you who to see.Unhealthy Jealousy: Getting angry about time spent with others, constant suspicion.Manipulation: Making someone feel guilty to get what you want, lying to control a situation.
10m
Group Discussion
Use the Red Flag Discussion Guide to facilitate class conversation. Encourage students to think about how these behaviors can escalate and why it's hard for people to leave sometimes.
10m
Scenario Showdown Quiz
Administer the quiz. Review the answers as a class immediately after, focusing on why the specific behavior in the scenario is considered a "red flag."
5m
Closure & Resources
Summarize key points. Provide contact info for school counselors and local hotlines. Emphasize: "It is never your fault if someone treats you poorly."
Teacher Sensitivity Note
This topic can be triggering for students who may be experiencing these dynamics at home or in their own dating lives. Ensure a safe, non-judgmental environment. Remind students that they can always speak with you or a counselor privately.
Red Flag Radar Slides Red Flag
Radar
Spotting Unhealthy Relationship Signs
Healthy Foundations
Before we look for "red flags," what does a healthy relationship look like?
Mutual Respect
Honest Communication
Trust & Independence
"A healthy relationship makes you feel safe, valued, and free to be yourself."
What is a Red Flag?
A Red Flag is a warning sign of behavior that is unhealthy, dangerous, or potentially abusive.
Control
Jealousy
Manipulation
Red Flag: Control
Control is when one person makes most of the decisions and dictates what the other person can or cannot do.
Look for:
• Demand to see your phone/passwords
• Telling you what to wear
• Monitoring your location at all times
"If you love me, you wouldn't mind if I checked your messages."
Typical Controlling Language
Red Flag: Extreme Jealousy
Normal vs. Unhealthy
Feeling a little jealous occasionally is normal. Extreme jealousy is when someone uses their feelings to justify controlling your actions or isolating you from others.
Accusing you of flirting or cheating with no evidence.
Getting angry when you want to hang out with your own friends.
Constant "checking in" via text to see who you are with.
Red Flag: Manipulation
Manipulation is the use of sneaky, deceptive, or guilt-tripping tactics to influence your behavior.
The "Guilt Trip"
"If you really cared about me, you would skip practice to hang out today."
The "Ultimatum"
"Either you block that person on social media, or we're over."
Why Spot Them Early?
Unhealthy behaviors often start small and grow over time. Identifying them early allows you to:
Protect Your Peace
Avoid the stress and anxiety of a toxic dynamic.
Ensure Safety
Prevent emotional or physical harm before it escalates.
I Spotted a Red Flag... Now What?
Talk About It
If it's safe, communicate your boundaries clearly. "I don't feel comfortable with you checking my phone."
Seek Support
Talk to a trusted adult, school counselor, or friend. You don't have to handle this alone.
Prioritize You
Remember: You have the right to end any relationship that makes you feel unsafe or controlled.
Warning Signs Worksheet Warning Signs
Relationship Health Check
Name:
Date:
Instructions
Think about the behaviors we discussed in class. Use your own words to describe the "red flags" and how they affect a relationship's health.
01
Control Checklist
List three signs of controlling behavior in a relationship. Think about actions that limit someone's freedom or independence.
02
The Jealousy Trap
Describe a situation where jealousy might become unhealthy. How can it lead to manipulation or control?
03
Handling Manipulation
What are some ways to address manipulation in a relationship? Focus on communication, boundaries, and seeking support.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and independence.
Red Flag Discussion Guide Red Flag Discussion Guide
Teacher Resource • Facilitating Tough Conversations
Facilitation Tip
Students may feel uncomfortable or defensive if they identify with these behaviors or have experienced them. Use "third-person" language (e.g., "a person might feel..." or "in a relationship where...") to keep the focus on behaviors rather than individuals in the room.
1
What are some signs of an unhealthy relationship?
Look for student responses mentioning:
Controlling behavior (phone checking, dress codes)
Extreme jealousy (accusing without proof)
Manipulation (guilt-tripping, threats of breaking up)
Isolation from friends and family
2
Why is it important to recognize these signs early?
Guide the discussion towards:
Safety: Unhealthy behaviors often escalate to physical harm over time.Well-being: Early recognition prevents emotional trauma and anxiety.Patterns: Breaking unhealthy cycles before they become habits in future relationships.
3
How can someone seek help if they are in an unhealthy relationship?
Resources to highlight:
Trusted adults (Parents, Teachers, Coaches)
School Counselors or Social Workers
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE)
Love is Respect (Text "LOVEIS" to 22522)
Scenario Showdown Quiz Scenario Showdown
Relationship Radar Quiz
Name:
Score: ____ / 3
Read each scenario carefully. Choose the best answer based on what you have learned about healthy and unhealthy behaviors.
1
A friend constantly checks your phone notifications and reads your private messages without permission. What is this behavior an example of?
Trust
Jealousy
Manipulation
Respect
2
Your partner gets extremely angry and gives you the "silent treatment" whenever you spend time with your other friends. What should you do?
Stop seeing your friends to make your partner happy.
Talk to your partner about your feelings and set a boundary.
Ignore your partner and wait for them to apologize first.
Apologize to your partner for making them feel jealous.
3
Someone spreads rumors about you to other people in order to isolate you and make you feel like you only have them to rely on. What is this called?
Bullying
Manipulation
Jealousy
Friendship
© Relationship Health Curriculum • Spotting the Red Flags
